UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog

It’s that time again.

- Boy, neither Pam nor Ryan are ever going to escape Dunder-Mifflin, are they?

And why is corporate so lax on personal calls?  Man, I want to work for Dunder-Mifflin!

Actually, let me think about that…

- Yeah, Michael and Holly are perfect for each other.

And where can you buy a whole set of putt-putt golf clubs?

- Michael:  “In my opinion, the third date is the one…where you have sex.”  Really?

“If she starts having sex with me, I’ll know for sure.”  I just spit Dr. Pepper all over my monitor.

- Andy’s handing out Save the Dates already?

- Phyllis:  “You know I know.  You know THEY know.”  I love that the writers are giving Phyllis more lines.

- Michael:  “Some of what we order depends on if we’re having sex after.”  Wow.

“Are we gonna have sex tonight?”  “Hell yeah.”  WTF?

- Dwight:  “Why is she marrying Andy?”  For those of you that have read my prior Office episode reviews, I am a big fan of Michael any time he needs sympathy.  The same can be said for Dwight, like in his second conversation with Phyllis.  You almost feel sorry for him!

Almost…”That’s really fattening!”

- LMFAO at the entire scene with Michael and Holly making out.

- I was wondering why this episode was entitled “Crime Aid.”  Poor Kevin!  He got his surge protector stolen :P.

(BTW, did Oscar say his “labtop” was stolen???)

Oh oh…did Holly and Michael’s, um, session, have something to do with the robbery?

- Michael:  “So much for sex without consequences.”

- Is going to Phyllis for relationship advice really a good idea?  Well, at least Dwight didn’t go to Michael.

And, of course, leave it to Dwight to get what he wanted, and then dump Phyllis on a different floor.

- Creed:  “Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it.  The last person to do this disappeared.  His name?  Creed Bratton.”  I need not say a thing.

- A charity auction?  “Crime Aid!”  Got it!

- Phyllis was in a sorority?  And why did the camera pan over Stanley when Michael mentioned auctioning off people “like in the olden days?”  LOL.

- Oscar:  “So, in order to recoup the value of items we liked, we have to spend more money on things we don’t want.”  Spoken like a true accountant.

(Actually that was spoken like anyone with half a brain.)

- Holly:  “He knows how to get things.  He got me.”  Whoa!

- Wow, Dwight really gave Angela the ultimatum!

- )@(*$)($()*#)@()!!!! MICHAEL!  BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN DID NOT SING “The Heart of Rock & Roll,” you buffoon.

- C.R.I.M.E. - A.I.D. = Crime Reduces Innocence, Makes Everyone Angry, I Declare.

I typed that out just to see how many hits my blog gets from a search of that phrase :P.

- Darryl:  “Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs.  Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News.  One was Tracy Chapman…’Fast Car.’  And my personal favorite:  ‘Short People.’”  Tracy Chapman???

- A yoga lesson?  Offered by Holly?  $300???

- Michael:  “It squeaks when you bang it.  That’s what she said.”  YES!!!!!!

- Damn that Darryl…what a smart guy!  Conflict of interest?  LOL.

Jim:  “Five dollars.”  Darryl:  “Sold!  To Jim!”

- Oh oh…I was wondering if we were ever going to see Roy again.  Sure, he’s not gonna beat up Jim now, but what’s gonna happen when he finds out that Jim’s engaged to Pam?

- Kevin’s willing to do someone’s taxes?  Now that has real value!  So, naturally, no one is bidding.

- Poor Dwight.

(I wonder if there’s anything significant about 6:14 PM being Angela’s deadline to make a decision.)

- What the hell?  David Wallace not only dropped by and didn’t fire Michael on the spot, but he’s actually offering to auction off something???

- Yes, Dwight, that’s it.  Move on.

And that slap that Phyllis gave to Dwight needed to be about ten thousand times harder than it actually was.

“What did Phyllis do wrong?  I’ll tell you what Phyllis did wrong.  She stuck her nose into my business and tried to help me.”  WTF?

- Wow, Jim actually told Roy that he’s engaged to Pam…and Jim’s still conscious?

- Roy:  “Wow….I mean, you were a friend.”  Incredible line, for the possible double meaning behind it.

- Of course…the Springsteen tickets were stolen.

That is, if they existed in the first place.

(EDIT:  Mystery solved!)

- Bob Vance just bid $1,000 for a hug from his own wife.  David Wallace and Dwight both tried to outbid him for that hug.

It’s the scenes like this one that really make the show great.  You all can have the scenes where Jim destroys Dwight, or the scenes where Michael does something stupid, but what really makes the show great is how personable most of the characters can be.

I know; that sounds pretty weird, but I really mean that, and I’ll try to elaborate on this point during my review.

- Was that an illegal U-turn?  And who didn’t see that coming?

- Busted!  You knew David Wallace wasn’t going to be there without something bad happening to someone.

Full review to come!

Tags: crime aid, review, running blog, The Office by Peter
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I’ve got rants about WalMart, rants about Fantasy Football, and (hopefully) a resolution to my complaint with Costco, but I can deal with all of those another time.

On to my Office running blog!

- Dwight in an apron? Oh wait…he’s pretending to carry a baby??? This episode already blows last week’s episode out of the water!

- Jim: “Now, this baby will be related to Michael through (draws a ? on a whiteboard) delusion.” I couldn’t have put it any better myself.

- Tell me that he had some container of water under that apron.

Oh my…

- Dwight: “Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.” Growing up? Oh my.

- Was this episode rated R? ZE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!!!

- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW….AND HE’S EATING THE WATERMELON????????

(passes out)

That might have been the worst (not bad, just absolutely ridiculous) first two minutes in Office history.

- “AS-TIRD?” Nice…I think.

(EDIT:  I actually had to go back to this point in the episode—you’ll see why later—to check the spelling of “AS-TIRD” on the M&M bowl.)

- Michael (to Phyllis): “…we gave you your wedding shower here…we all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. Well you know what? Where’s my golden shower?” Seriously?

- That phone call between Jim and Pam was pretty telling, no? Great…an entire season filled with Jim-Pam moments of them starting to drift away…?

- Gee, I wonder who the little black kid is?

(But seriously, that’s pretty awesome that the entire cast donated their baby pics to this episode, assuming that those pics are real, and why wouldn’t they be?)

- Angela (to Andy, after he stuck his baby pic next to what he thought was Angela’s baby pic): “That’s Phyllis.” Oh crap!

- LOL! Is that really Angela?

- No, that whole conversation with Michael and Holly was not weird at all. “And I’m treating Ryan the same way.” WTF?

- Thank you Stanley, but I do not care to hear about your sore nipples. *gag*

- Dwight: “Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn’t there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody’s. Except Michael’s.” That about sums up the first part of this episode.

- Ah, it’s “AS-TRID” You kids out there named Astrid might want to change your names, anyway.

- Thank goodness Jan did not let Michael pick up the baby.

- Michael: “If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no…government.”

- Wow, he wasn’t kidding about being cold to Holly.

- I agree with Dwight…$1200 for a stroller? That thing better have an ABS system and air bags on it!

- Dwight: “$1200 is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter.” Is that a good thing? “For that kind of money, the stroller should be indestructible.” I can’t believe this. I’m totally agreeing with Dwight!

(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

- And the Jim-Pam drift continues…

So Jan is singing a wholly inappropriate song to the baby, huh? She should have sung Hunter’s love song :P.

- Of course…Creed is the only one eating cake while Jan talked about her tub birth.

- Michael: “I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid, I felt…shortchanged.” Oh oh.

- It appears Darryl is busy as usual.

- Thank goodness…if Darryl had sat on Michael’s lap or something, I would have banned The Office from my house.

- Ok, that scene with Holly and Jan was AWESOME.

- WTF Angela??? And turn off the flash, at least!

- Wow, that stroller really is worth $1200!

- Jan (to Michael): “Don’t date Holly.” Hmmmmmm…does somebody still have feelings for somebody?

- Michael: “Wanna go out?” Holly: “Yes.” That was quick.

- Michael: “I didn’t feel much when I held Astrid. But I got a good feeling from Holly.” Great line to close the episode with!

- Oh, that last scene…*sniff*

(Where’s my box of kleenex?)

- Here’s my review:

The episode was definitely a bit too relationship-heavy for my liking, and it sure looks like that will be the norm for the remainder of the season.

One relationship at a time:

1) Angela/Andy/Dwight: The tension between these two is amazingly underrated. We know that Angela has nothing in common with Andy, and she’s only with him because Dwight chased her away. I just love how she is getting more and more uncomfortable with Andy as the season progresses (did you she how uncomfortable she got with all the baby talk? It’s a shame that she was pregnant in real life last season.). Too bad Dwight was too busy, um, testing the stroller, to perform any extra-curricular activities with Angela this time around.

2) Michael/Jan/Holly: So what do we make of Jan telling Michael not to date Holly? Is Holly really not right for Michael, or does Jan still have feelings for Michael.

(Survey says…the latter, most definitely.)

In a move that should have surprised no one, those words actually pushed Michael (literally!) into Holly’s arms, and now it seems Holly and Michael are officially an item. I’m guessing we are not close to seeing the end of Jan visiting the office, probably with AS-TRID in tow. Or maybe Jan just cares about Michael too much, and really thinks that Holly is not right for her.

(Not a chance.)

3) Jim/Pam: Just when we thought they were seemingly drifting apart, that dual voice mail “call” showed just how close they really are. At the same time, though, the phone call seems to tease that they are now so far “off” that, maybe, just maybe, they need to question whether or not their relationship is going to work.

I hope the writers do not introduce a third person into their relationship, as the barrier between them—the drive to NY from Scranton, namely—is obstacle enough. In just one episode—I’d aruge just one moment—the writers have now brought serious doubts to the minds of us viewers as to whether or not the Jim/Pam relationship will survive.

And you know what? Don’t put it past the writers to decide that the Jim/Pam relationship is headed for failure, as unpopular as that will be!

Tonight’s “storyline” episode was FANTASTIC, despite being so relationship-heavy, and a plethora of one-liners kept me laughing my butt off throughout. How dare I doubt your ability to entertain me, The Office! Shame on me!

Until next time!

Tags: baby shower, review, running blog, The Office by Peter
1 Comment »

You might have noticed the way I am now labeling my Office reviews (S05E02 = Season 5, Episode 2, e.g.).

One of these days, I’ll go back and fix all my Office-related blog titles to reflect this change.

(No I won’t :P)

- Here’s all I have to say about Game Two of the Dodgers/Phillies series:

BRETT F**KING MYERS??? THREE FOR THREE, THREE RBI, AND TWO RUNS??? ARE YOU SERIOUS???

(Bye, Manny.)

- I love Costco. My wallet might not, but I love Costco. One of the most underrated aspects of Costco has to be their excellent customer service. Most of the cashiers I’ve encountered at Costco were very friendly to me. Sure, there was the occasional cashier that would half-heartedly say “Bye” to me at the end of my transaction, but this was the exception and not the rule.

However, yesterday I got to deal with the most inconsiderate Costco cashier of all time! Rather than repeat what happened, I’ll let the email I fired off to Costco speak for itself:

Hi,

Let me start by saying that several members of my family are frequent shoppers at Costco Wholesale warehouse locations throughout Southern California, and for the most part, we have had few (if any) customer-service related issues with your stores. Most of the cashiers we have encountered have been genuinely friendly to us, usually offering greetings of “How are you today?” followed by “Have a good day!” at the conclusion of our transactions.

On 10/10/2008, however, I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with cashier [cashier name, register #, store #, city, state, zip, and time]. It appeared that I had lined up right around the time that [name] and two other cashiers decided that it would be more important to converse with each other than to do their jobs. One of the other workers was manning a cash register of his own, and the other was responsible for putting scanned items back in to my cart.

When I lined up, I was not at all greeted by [name]—she didn’t even glance in my general direction! Furthermore, while scanning my purchases, there was at least one moment where she completely stopped what she was doing in order to speak to her coworkers! Each time she did this, I was tempted to say “If you don’t mind, please scan my items, and then you can chat when you’re done with me.”

After I paid for the items, [name] handed me my receipt, again without even making eye contact; apparently she still needed to converse with her coworkers! I felt like filling a complaint right then and there, but I thought better of it.

As I mentioned before, my family frequently shops at Costco, and I do not recall a customer-service related issue as atrocious as the situation discussed above. I sincerely hope I will not have to find another Costco to shop at in the future.

Thank you for your time,

I already got a reply from Costco, saying that my email was forwarded to the local manager.

(I know what some of you might be thinking: why would I waste my time filing a complaint? Cashier jobs are horribly thankless jobs, and most cashiers could care less about their customers! I will not dispute this point; however, like I said earlier, I would not have expected such rude cashiers at Costco. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if something like this happened at VONS, Ralphs, Rite Aid, WalMart, etc., but Costco? Not a chance.)

- Time for my Office review:

My opinion of “Business Ethics” might change if I watch it a few more times, but I just couldn’t really get into the episode. Sure, the whole bit with Jim, Dwight, and Andy was ridiculously funny, but the episode really felt like a chore to get through. As far as “storyline” episodes go, this was one of the least impressive ones.

Thank goodness Jim and Pam immediately announced their engagement! The last thing I needed was a drawn-out, winter break cliffhanger over when they would actually make that announcement. However, when is Pam coming back to Scranton? And what will happen to Ryan when that happens?

Have I mentioned how much I now love Holly’s character? She’s perfect for the show! She’s quirky enough to stand Michael, while, at the same time, you can tell that she wants to do her job well. I like how we got more insight as to why Michael is perfect for running the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin; the process (actually going through the Ethics binder) isn’t nearly as important as the results (getting signatures from the office). Will Michael continue to mold Holly into a female version of himself? Or will Holly continue to butt heads with Michael over office matters?

(Or both?)

So Meredith has sex for discount paper and steak, huh? And Holly wanted her fired??? Give her a promotion! You just knew that Meredith wasn’t going to get punished for her actions, but I thought it was Michael that was going to defend her, not someone at corporate! The writers should continue this storyline throughout the season; maybe we can discover that Dwight traded away some beets for discount paper?

Hopefully next week’s episode will be better.

Tags: brett myers, business ethics, costco, idiot cashier, los angeles dodgers, philadelphia phillies, The Office by Peter
2 Comments »

- I knew we were in a bit of trouble watching Derek Lowe struggle through that fifth inning.

As soon as I saw Chase Utley deposit a Lowe pitch into right field, I knew we were in big trouble.

(Damn you, Rafael Furcal!)

I muttered to myself, “Take him out NOW, Torre!” knowing full well that that would have been an extremely rash decision to do so.

However, what if Torre had come with the hook right then and there?

(For the record, I picked the Phillies to win this series in six games. I don’t see how the Dodgers’ staff is going to slow down the Phillies’ offense over a seven-game series).

I enjoyed doing the “running synopsis” of last week’s Office episode so much that I think I will do that for the rest of the season. Let’s go!

- Bad, Bad Jim, for not telling the rest of the office about your engagement!

(thinks about it for a second…)

(thinks about it for thirty seconds…)

Smart move, Jim! Seriously, why the heck would he want to tell anyone about their engagement? Why, so Michael can throw them a stupid party? So Dwight could say something wholly inappropriate? So Andy could ask Jim if they could do a double-wedding?

(thinks about it some more…)

Dammit Jim! Well, at least the writers decided not to have Jim and Pam hold off their engagement announcement for too long.

- LOL! Nice reactions from the office!

• “I thought you were already engaged!”
• “That was Roy. She was engaged to Roy.”
• “I have a gift for Pam and Roy. Do I have to get another one?”
• “A little close to my engagement there, Tuna. What’s your game here?” Thank you, Andy!
• “She’s not a virgin you know.” Rainn Wilson owes me a new computer monitor.
• And how many times did Michael get to “rehearse” that tackle on Jim? Bob Sanders should be proud.

- Holly: “Pencils down!” Oh, flashbacks of standardized tests! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

- Oh dear…Olivia Newton John’s “Physical”??? “Let’s get ETHICAL, ETHICAL!!!!”

Too bad we couldn’t clearly hear the grunting that occurs during the “Let me hear your body talk!” line.

(If you have no idea what I’m talking about, just think about the song might be about…)

I must admit…I’m really enjoying Holly’s character.

- Michael: “Why are you helping her? You’re not even dating.” Thank you Michael, for waiting only two minutes to say something entirely inappropriate.

“She’s my friend, and ultimately my strategy is to…merge this into a relationship, without her even knowing.”

- Holly: “…there’s been some misconduct at corporate.” Well, I’m glad it only took Dunder-Mifflin a few months to begin resolving THAT.

- “…and that employee has been fired.”

Kevin: “Oh, come on! He’s right there! He was hired! Oooh…check it out! HIRE-D guy!” LOL.

(Please, please, please, do not let Kevin think up of a new nickname for Ryan every week!

(while Ryan is fixing a flat) “Hey, TIRE-D guy!”

(while Ryan downs his eighth cup of coffee) “Hey, WIRE-D” guy!”

Ok, I’ll stop.

- Phyllis: “I thought ‘Very Strongly Agree’ sounded stronger than ‘Totally Agree.’” On what planet???

- Holly: “In fact, spending a half hour at the water cooler during work hours is a form of stealing.” I agree with Kelly. What??? Time theft? Shouldn’t Michael have already been executed for time theft by now???

(Did Kelly just make a good, sensible point regarding smokers and their breaks??? What the heck is going on with this show?)

- I can’t remember the last time Angela glanced at the camera!

- Seriously? Nobody in the office wants to speak up about any ethical questions they might have had to deal with? NOBODY?

- Michael: “When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days. I did NOTHING.”

(Raise your hand if you did NOT do that. If you’re hand isn’t raised, you’re a damn liar :P)

Seriously, nobody is going to take the bait (that anyone can say anything with complete immunity), right?

(Oscar, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)

- Michael (to Dwight): “You are a thief of joy!” Agreed.

- Meredith: “Have you guys ever met Bruce Meyers, the Scranton rep for Hammermill? Well, for the past six years I’ve been sleeping with him in exchange for discounts on our supplies…and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates.” Yes, Jim, “Jackpot!”

- Yeah, Holly, I’d look like that too if I had to work with Michael Scott.

- Meredith: “Nah, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the discount paper. There’s not a lot of fruit in those looms.” Gag.

- I’d feel good about myself too, if I got free steak coupons. Then again, I might not, if I had to earn them like that.

(Um, never mind.)

- Jim (stopwatch in hand): “Yawn: four seconds.” “Personal conversation: seventeen seconds.” I want Jim’s job!

- Michael: “Would you care to bang it out over lunch?”

I predict that, in six weeks, Holly will respond to such a statement with a quick and decisive “That’s what HE said!”

- Idiot! Don’t throw the food away!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

- “Business romantic?” Stupid Michael…you should have taken her to a “High class casual” restaurant or something.

- Is it just me, or is Michael making up way more words in this season than in seasons past?

- It took me a while to realize how incredibly funny the scene with Jim, Andy, and Dwight really was. I didn’t catch on even when Jim mentioned Klingons and Wookies!

That one scene might have saved the entire episode. So far, watching this episode has been quite a chore…so much so that I completely missed the mention of Klingons and Wookies the first time around.

Dumbledorf Calrizzien? A ring back to Mordor??? LOL!!!!! No, Andy, that doesn’t sound right indeed.

- Michael: I just don’t want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance. I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? And Meredith needs this job. This is her main source of money.”

…………

- Meredith + Chastity Belt = #*$@()$@!*$!!!!!!!

STOP, PLEASE!

(And I did not need to see Dwight peeing into a soda bottle. Did he even clean it before…never mind.)

- Yeah, it must be exhausting to do nothing but watch Dwight work all day.

- That’s TWICE now that Michael has thrown away food for NO GOOD REASON! YOU BASTARD!!!

- Jim: “Nineteen minutes and forty-eight seconds. What were we doing for nineteen minutes and forty-eight seconds?” You mean, not counting the time it took to walk up and down the stairs?

Dwight: “None of your business.”

Jim: “So I guess I can assume that was…PERSONAL?” OH SNAP!!!

Yes, I caught that one immediately.

- Ok, now I absolutely love Holly’s character. The tension in the break room was awesome. I just hope, somewhere down the line, there isn’t a scene where Michael and Holly start ripping off each other’s clothes.

(LET’S GET PHYSICAL!!!

Ugh.)

- GRAY AREA????? WHAT IN THE HELL???

WHAT IN THE HELL??????

Wow, I guess Michael Scott really knows how to run this company.

- Phyllis: “I don’t care what she’s doing, I hope she just keeps doing it.” Oh my.

Full review to come later, but as a preview, let’s just say that I’ll be as optimistic about this episode as I possibly can.

Tags: business ethics, chase utley, derek lowe, los angeles dodgers, philadelphia phillies, rafael furcal, The Office by Peter
1 Comment »

Quick-hitters:

- I’ve got a picture of Dwight Schrute in ASCII taped up to the wall above my computer monitor, and as you might expect, my sister got totally creeped out by it.

LOL.

- It is 11:30PM right now, and my new neighbors’ stupid little mutt is barking like mad, which, in turn, is causing other neighbor dogs to bark along.

Grrrrrr…

- Shot-Online update: Level 47, and the Semi-Pro test is tomorrow.

Hopefully, I do not choke.

*gag*

- As promised, a full review of last’s night premiere of The Office.

Damn funny episode last night, and I love how many potential story lines the writers have set up for the rest of the season. We have, in no particular order: a Michael-Holly-Jan triumvirate, Jim’s odd proposal to Pam, Andy being completely oblivious to the shenanigans of Dwight and Angela, and Ryan’s quest for revenge on Jim.

(Speaking of Ryan…wasn’t he in trouble for fraud? Damn high-priced corporate attorneys!)

You gotta hand it to the writers of the show for using an entire episode to recap the events of the summer. I loved how readily they resolved the fates of both Ryan The Temp, Part Deux, and Toby. Is Toby still an integral character, or perhaps have we seen the last of him? And will Ryan attempt to climb back up the corporate ladder? And what company re-hires an ex-con, even if he is re-hired through a temp agency??? Damn…Michael Scott sure has a lot of pull in that organization!

If there’s one thing unsettling about the premiere, though, it is the fact that Pam’s still in New York. Do I smell a December cliff-hanger where Jim, once again, has to choose between Scranton and New York? (EDIT:  Duh…once again, I forgot that Pam started her three-month stint in NY at the beginning of summer!) I sincerely hope not! And no, leaving Pam with that decision is no better! And oh by the way, who got Ryan’s old job? I can think of a suitable candidate at the Scranton branch…

(Great…is this how Jim is going to end up with the choice between Scranton and New York?)

And has anyone figured out what the importance of that rest stop is?

What should we make of the Michael-Holly-Jan situation? Michael and Holly are TOO similar; they seem to be more like long-lost siblings than a couple! I was also hoping that we would get more than a quick cameo from Jan; we all know that she’s still going to have an integral role in the show. Also, yes, Holly is starting to grow on me, even if she is the female Michael Scott.

(Completely off-topic, but every time I glance up at the ASCII pic of Dwight, I think to myself, “Is his eyes following me around?”)

Oh please, please, please, let Andy do something ridiculous like having the wedding at the office itself! The jokes will literally write themselves! Michael in charge of the whole thing, and Dwight as Andy’s Best Man! Is there anyone that knows anyone on The Office to whom I can pitch this idea?

And Andy is gonna figure out, sooner or later, where Angela and Dwight go every now and then, right?

(Another random thought: someone found my site with a search of “pokerstars on jim’s computer in the office.” LOL.)

Finally, in typical Office fashion, even the bit characters had more-than-brief appearances throughout the premiere: Stanley and Kelly’s attempts to lose weight, Phyllis being forced to walk five miles by Dwight, Oscar hooking up Holly with a date, and (thank goodness!) the end of the “mentally challenged” Kevin storyline.

Until next time!

Tags: annoying dogs, full review, neighbors, season premiere, shot-online, The Office, weight loss by Peter
2 Comments »

What could possibly cause me to offer nothing more than a passing thought about the Dodgers’ clinching of the NL West crown?

The return of The Office, naturally!

(WOOHOO!!!!!!)

Note:  I missed the live airing of this episode, due to the exciting finish in the USC @ Oregon State game.  Does that make me no longer a true fan?

Also, since I missed the live airing, I think I’ll do a running synopsis of the episode.  Here goes!

- Ahhhhh…how I miss the theme song!  Hearing it preceding a rerun just isn’t the same.  And B.J. Novak is still being credited, eh?

- That cheese fountain looks damn tasty…

_ …not anymore, after Andy mentioned wanting “washboard abs” for when Angela sees him naked for the first time.  *gag*

- Dwight:  “Hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow.”  Our first “That’s what she said” moment of the 08-09 season…except Michael didn’t say it???

(Tangent.)

- 2,336 lbs. with Pam on the scale…2,210 lbs. with Pam off it.  The look on Pam’s face was priceless.  And Kevin’s “You weigh 226 lbs.?” was damn funny.  Yes, Kevin, math IS hard.

- Yoga, huh?

- Michael:  “Did you see Holly’s butt?”  It took three minutes to get to the first inappropriate comment of this episode???  The Office is losing it!

- OMG…Holly (is that her name?) is morphing into the female Michael Scott as we speak!!!

(Tangent:  I’m always leery of new characters being added to an already awesome show.

(Sub-tangent:  Remember the episode of The Simpsons where they teased a new character being on the show?)

So far, it worked with Karen, and who can argue that it’s not working with Andy?  However, I’m not sold on Holly yet…)

- Pam will be gone for three months, huh?

(checks calendar…September…October…November…December…I smell a midseason cliffhanger!)

(EDIT:  Duh…stupid me.  This episode is chronicling everything that happened from June to September.

(checks calendar…June…July…August…September.)

Clever, writers!)

- Dwight:  “We done good in there, half-pint.”  Oh boy…and Angela’s “I have a fiancé I very much like” was VERY convincing.  Uh-huh.

- Is it evil to have wished for Pam to accidentally run over Michael in the parking lot?

(I thought so.)

- Jim:  “…and Pam’s always said she doesn’t want a long engagement.  Something in her past, I guess…something about a guy that used to work here.”  What could he be talking about?

- WTF happened to Meredith’s face???

- Jim:  “…Michael is actually killing it with Holly, and I think I know why!  It’s because Holly is kind of a major dork.”  Understatement of the season, so far.  And no, that rap did nothing to influence my opinion of her.

- Jim:  “I don’t really know Ronnie (sp?), but I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years, and eventually declare my love for her.”  Who didn’t see that coming?

- LOL @ Kelly Kapour.  “I look a-MA-zing!”

- Jim:  “When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe that he was the father…by telling us that he was the father.”  I’m ten minutes into this episode, and I don’t recall Jim ever having this many talking heads in one episode!

- Holly:  “He is not an idiot!  He is mentally challenged!”  Literally one second before Holly opened her mouth, I found myself asking, “How much longer are the writers going to play the ‘Holly thinks Kevin is challenged’ storyline?”  And Holly even runs with her tail between her legs like Michael!  They’re perfect for each other!

- Andy just reached the point of desperation…about the same time I admitted that I have an addiction to beef jerky:  years ago.  FOUR non-refundable deposits???

- Dwight:  “Can you turn the girl off?”  I’m not sure if that wasn’t the most unintentionally funny line in Office history, or if it was delivered at face value.

Watching Michael parade around with “Pam,” followed by the talking head, almost made me spit Propel all over my monitor.  “Can you give me back to Jim now, please?”  LMFAO!!!

- So Phyllis is now the head of the Party Planning Committee?  What a way to blackmail Angela!

- Michael:  “What is wrong with these people?  They have no willpower.  I went…I once went 28 years without having sex, and then again for seven years.”  The writers should have had Michael say he went 40 years without having sex…

And what’s with the mustache?

- Jim grabbing Dwight’s shoulders twice…now THAT was AWK-WARD!

- Pam Beesly, Resident Advisor?

- Wow, Michael is taking the news that Holly is dating well.  And I wonder how many takes it took to get the scene where Dwight ruined Michael’s suit right.

- Gee, it looks like Creed has had practice using a scale and a credit card before.

- Holly:  “If we stay fat long enough, we might get a whole month off.”  LOL.

- Creed, after a long-winded talking head about Kelly swallowing a tapeworm:  “That wasn’t a tapeworm.”

- Oh look, the temp is back…as the receptionist???  And Michael hired him through the temp agency again???  AND he grew the mustache because of Ryan’s???

Horribly cheesy, and ridiculously funny!!!  Oh how I’ve missed you, Office.

(FIRE…D guy?  WTF!!!  :P)

- Ryan:  “I’m keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me, so when I’m back on top, they’ll be sorry.” Hmmmm…I wonder who Ryan put on the top of that list.

- Michael:  “You know my seduction method…I like to get in there and get my hands dirty!”

- Ewwwwwwww @ the food rotting in the vending machine.

(And an even bigger “Ewwwwwwwww” at Kelly and Darryl making out near Ryan.)

- Of course…Pam is getting smitten by another guy.  Who didn’t see that coming?

(One of the real concerns I have with this season of The Office is how the writers are going to handle the Jim-Pam relationship.  As integral to the entire series as their relationship is, how much longer can the writers drag out this storyline?)

- Poor Phyllis.  Michael:  “Dwight, I would like you to apologize to this beautiful, beautiful woman for forcing her to walk five miles, which, for her, is basically a death march.”

- Phyllis:  “I wonder what people like about me.  Probably my jugs.”  It’s a damn good thing I didn’t watch this episode live!

- Dwight:  “I’m gonna write you both up for not working.”  Jim:  “I’m gonna write YOU up for not working.”  I wonder who the #2 in the office is…

(Receptionitis15?  And why is there a shortcut to PokerStars on Jim’s computer?  I wonder if he plays there in real life.)

- ASCII art of Dwight?  Oh my.

- Andy:  “Andy Bernard does not lose contests.  He wins them, or he quits them, because they’re unfair.”

- So every locale he booked didn’t phase him.  Every objection Angela had didn’t affect him.  But rejecting Andy’s old a capella group is a “deal breaker?”

- Totally random weight-”loss” thoughts:  1) I wonder if weighing sans clothes is legal.  2) What, no laxatives or ipecac?  3) I wonder how much weight Dwight and Angela have lost just from sexing each other up.

- HE PICKED A MINI-MART TO PROPOSE TO HER???  WHAT THE HELL???

- Michael Scott is an idiot.  Oh wait…we already knew that.  However, he totally redeemed himself with that cheap “You guys are all gigantic losers!”

(I wonder how much rain Jim collected on his clothes, and how much that affected the total weight loss of the group.)

- Hey, Toby.

Best premiere of the five seasons?  Nah.  Damn funny?  Of course.

Full review next time.

Tags: season premiere, The Office, weight loss by Peter
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Raise your hand if you saw all those plot twists coming! Tonight’s episode was awesome, though I’m not sure where I’d rank it compared to the mid-season premiere.  Did anyone notice how almost R-rated the finale was?  Pregnancies, a marriage proposal, a foiled one, a hazing involving the idea that one worker is “special,” fraud, and a mentally scarring make-out scene at the very end?  Was this The Office or Scranton, PA, [zip code of Scranton]?

Jan’s pregnant? And it’s NOT Michael’s? Not that that was much of a surprise; Michael did have THREE vasectomies, no? And how could he have gotten her pregnant while he was sleeping by the foot of her bed?

(Talking about the three vasectomies still hurts, BTW.)

The donor came from a sperm bank? I thought it was Hunter’s baby for sure! And now Michael thinks he’s back with Jan, throwing away a possible relationship with the new HR girl?  Sure, his “relationship” with Holly was completely rushed, but it looked like he was going to wise up, before Kevin’s fateful call.  And what happened to Jan not wanting kids???

Also, raise your hand if you noticed that Holly kinda resembled Jan. Nice job by casting to get a bunch of actresses to look like Jan after their breakup!

Damn Dwight for telling Holly that Kevin is “special,” causing her to treat Kevin the way she did.  I think Kevin enjoyed Holly’s affection a bit too much.  And I loved the way the other office workers acted around Kevin in the presence of Holly, especially Phyllis’ “Kevin, take your shoes off first!” as he runs towards the moon bouncer.  Holly’s treatment of Kevin got exponentially more weird as the episode progressed.

I guess “the temp” will be spending the next few years in prison for fraud. Yeah, like people weren’t going to figure out that he demanded the sales staff to enter their sales twice. Wunderkind, or what-a-dumbass? And who didn’t enjoy the way Jim taunted Ryan? “…you obviously have your hands tied!”  Talk about dropping a bomb!  Ryan had it coming, though. “Congratulations!  Don’t interrupt!  Congratulations on doing your job.”  What an ass!  As the episode progressed, I was thinking that Ryan was going to try to implicate Jim in the fraud, citing the two “threatening” phone calls as some sort of proof of the allegations.

(Actually, that could be a great future storyline. Ryan could eventually come back on the show and accuse Jim of ratting him out. Of course, that depends on how much time Ryan spends in jail.)

Poor Toby! All he got out of his last day was a party, a watch, a few pics with an unhappy Pam, a horrible tribute song (that’s stuck in my head as we speak), and an escort off the office premises by security?

(Tangent: Did anyone notice that the certificate on the wall behind Michael’s desk is a Certificate of Authenticity for a Seyko [sic] watch? So Toby got a FAKE??? LOL!)

Farewell, Toby Flenderson. Be sure to tell Dwight to update his office hierarchy!

(EDIT: I just noticed that Toby’s “new” watch went off right as he left the office for the last time, just as how Michael set it. Nice attention to detail!)

As for you “Jam” lovers (that’s Jim-Pam, for you non-”shippers” out there, not that I am one), you must have hated the finale. I’m pretty sure you guys were screaming “F**K YOU ANDY!” when Andy stole Jim’s thunder with his own marriage proposal. My sister nearly threw something at my TV when that happened.   What is next to happen in Jim’s relationship with Pam?

(What really stinks about the whole ordeal is that Pam has no idea that it was Jim that put up the money for the entire party!  Yeah, I know…typical guy response…worried about the money :P)

Throughout the episode, I was almost sure that Jim was going to quit his job. From the first phone call to Ryan, to the huge amount of money he spent for the party (I didn’t know you could get a same-day Ferris wheel rental :P), I thought he was gone for sure, whether or not Pam accepted the marriage proposal. Then again, what would the show be without him? And did you see the look on Pam’s face during her last talking head? Then again, could you blame Jim for not proposing after what Andy did? What’s going to happen when (if?) Pam enrolls at the art academy?

During that talking head, did Pam mention starting a family with Jim? How far their relationship advanced in a year’s time!

And Dwight and Angela making out in the darkness of the office? ZE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! And Phyllis was the one to discover this?

Overall, I loved tonight’s episode, especially because of all the potential story lines that this episode set up for next season. By next season, Jan should either be close to giving birth, or would already have had the baby. Pam might already have started her art career, unless she decides against it for some reason. Andy could be in the midst of wedding planning. Maybe Toby will have second thoughts of leaving his position. Maybe Ryan will plea bargain his way out of prison. And what’s going to happen with Jim and Pam?

Most importantly, what the hell am I going to do between now and next season?

Favorite moments:

• Who didn’t enjoy watching Jim screw around with Dwight’s phone? As if the writers weren’t going to give us one interaction between these two in the finale. “Hang that up right now”? Dwight had the phone in his hand. Why didn’t HE hang up? If you’re keeping score at home, that’s now two phones that Dwight has destroyed. (EDIT: I didn’t notice it the first time, but apparently the phone rang again while he was trying to destroy it! HAHA!)

(Tangent: I’ve dealt with five or six different Bluetooth headsets in the past, and I don’t recall EVER getting good sound quality from any more than three feet away from the phone itself. Yet Jim was able to speak to two different people just fine? Amazing!)

• Michael’s shoe money. I don’t even want to imagine how long that money’s been sitting there.
• Pam: “…So the timing’s perfect. And THAT is the first time I’ve ever used the word ‘perfect’ in here!”
• Holly: “What do you do here?” followed by Creed’s talking head. “Qua-something…[qua-sounding junk]…”
• Toby:  (screaming at the top of his lungs) “DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA HERE?”  Something tells me he ran off to the nearest Staples to buy a digital camera.
• Jim explaining that all his firsts with Pam occurred at the office.  How pathetic!  Then again, that makes his attempted proposal to Pam at the party even more fitting.
• Kevin:  “I am totally going to bang Holly!”  Did that come out of right field or what?
• Jim finally growing a pair and chewing out Ryan.  Too bad that Ryan probably never got the message.
• That entire exit interview was awesome, in a truly awkward sense.  I would have loved to see Toby throw the rock through the window.
• Yes, Hank, I thought Kelly’s talking head about visiting Ryan in jail was damn funny.  I’m coming around!
• How did Michael resist the temptation to say “That’s what she said!”???
• Michael getting flustered after Holly touched him, followed by the talking head.  Jan didn’t show affection?  Well, I suppose sex != affection.
• Pam:  “Don’t tell him [Toby] I said this, but I always thought he was kinda cute.”  Wait until that gets back to Toby.
• Michael:  “Are you nauseous?  Do you have cravings?  You never touched by Propecia…?”
• Michael:  “You cheated on me?  When I specifically asked you not to?”
• Holly:  “Andy proposed to one of your accountants…”  Michael:  “Well, I can see Andy proposing to Angela.  I can also see him proposing to Oscar.”  How did I know that was coming?

One final thought: now that Toby has (seemingly) been written off the show, and it seems that Ryan won’t be around (for at least a good while), does this mean that B.J. Novak and Paul Liberstein are no longer going to write/produce on the show? And if they do, wouldn’t it be kinda weird to see their names in the credits, even though their characters are gone?

Tags: goodbye, review, season finale, The Office, toby by Peter
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Quick-hitters:

- Thank you, Time Warner. My internet connection was out as soon as I finished blogging last night, and was still out when I first signed on earlier today.

The connection was eventually fixed (not sure when), but now my ESPN-HD feed is out! Oh well, I’d rather watch the season finale of The Office.

- I got a “final notice” renewal letter on my Car n Driver magazine subscription today. Now I could’ve sworn that the sub was good for at least another few months.

After a few minutes of researching, I saw this notation next to the address of the renewal notice:

Oct. 08

I didn’t realize that last notices come five months before the fact. Who do these people think they are? BofA?

- Before I get to my review of The Office season finale, let me quickly give my thoughts on last week’s episode (Job Fair):

(Note: I’m doing this on-the-fly, so pardon any grammatical/structural/spelling errors!)

Michael in a shirt and jeans? Haha.

Michael: “Pam will be eye candy.”

Jim’s on probation? Shocker. And he has to play golf with a potential client? AND Andy has to go golfing with him? I’d submit my two weeks’ notice now.

(Of course, if he had tried, he wouldn’t be in this position, now would he?)

Did Dwight really admit that Jim is in charge once Michael is gone??? And did he just admit that both he and Andy are third in charge?

Dwight: “I will tell on you.” (shudder…)

I’m amazed that Creed is still in the office! (EDIT: This was before the rest of the Office decided to “ditch this b!tch.”

Michael has a normal ring tone?

Michael: “Who cares? I’m not there. Jim’s not there. Why should anybody else be there?”

Pam: “Are you serious?” Michael: “Yes. And don’t call me Shirley.” Sigh. Yet another epic reference ruined by Michael Scott.

Why the hell is Pam only taking ONE sheet of paper? TWENTY MILES???

Tell me they did not just destroy a golf cart for THAT!

Michael: (paraphrasing) “I would rather be jobless, on a beach, with a huge inheritance, than to take one of these crap jobs.”

Michael: “I wouldn’t say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a great artist.” Oscar: “Why wouldn’t you say that to her face?” I spit out my bite of spaghetti on that scene alone. And it took me a bit of time to realize that the Justin kid was the first kid that visited the Dunder-Mifflin booth.

So was Jim’s block-the-car-to-get-a-sale “trying” enough to get him off probation? Hey, at least he shot 102!

Michael: “Jim could do anything he wants, but he chooses to sell paper…like me.” And Pam is thinking about moving on to a graphics design job in NY or Philly? What a great storyline episode; think about how many possible story arcs there are for the finale. Dwight and Angela seem to be at peace with each other. Jim had to fight tooth-and-nail to score the client and (probably) keep his job. And now Pam might be finished as the receptionist?

Why do I have the feeling that we’ll be left with a brutal cliffhanger at the end of the finale?

I plan on replacing this quick-hitter review with a thorough one, once I get around to watching this episode again.

Tags: car n driver, job fair, renewal, The Office, time warner by Peter
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Today’s blog topic will cover one REALLY long topic, so expect it to be split up into at least two parts.

Blog-related quick-hitters:

- As a fan of The Office, I am appalled at myself for the fact that I have yet to watch last Thursday’s episode!

I am ashamed of myself, and I don’t even have a good reason for not watching it yet! Well, unless you consider Spurs-Hornets, Korean BBQ, Olive Garden, Mother’s Day Weekend, etc., to be “good” reasons.

(Office fans may start booing me.)

- For a similar reason, I did not watch Game 3 of Lakers-Jazz. I was 99% sure that the Lakers were going to lose that game, not that that is a good reason to skip it, right?

(Laker fans may start booing me.)

Non-blog-related quick-hitters:

- File this under the fall-out-of-your-chair-laughing department:

So my sister (the one that doesn’t have karmic powers) visited us on Friday, and after settling in, she asked if she could grab some MP3s off my computer and upload them onto her iPod. I said sure, and went to go look for the USB cable.

After a few minutes, I couldn’t find it, but my sister spotted the wall charger…except that it didn’t register with her that she was using the wall charger. This conversation (slightly exaggerated) followed:

Me: You know you’re plugging your iPod into the wall charger, right?

Her: (blankly) OK. Is that not going to work?

Me: Not unless the data can transfer from the computer’s power supply, through the surge protector, and through the charger!

Eventually, she blamed lack of sleep and hyperglycemia—she bought an iced coffee from McDonald’s that was supposed to be sugar free vanilla, but was not—for the mistake. Uh-huh.

- Current rebate-o-meter: $1,350. I better start spending some money; I gotta do my part to stimulate the economy!

(Tangent: I won’t be getting a stimulus check until mid-June! Booooooooooo.)

Current toothpaste-o-meter: a whole hell of a lot. Same with deodorant. I’m going to start selling this stuff to my neighbors real soon.

I better move on before I get too inundated with material. On with the topic at hand!

- A few months back, Staples had a great deal on the Sony LocationFree Base Station LF-B10 (think “SlingBox Lite”). I bought one as soon as it was for sale, thinking that I was going to hook up the device to my own cable box and use it whenever I was out of town.

It took me a day or so to realize how dumb of an idea this was. The only times I’m out of town are when I go to Monterey Park, or the much less frequent trips up to Sacto. If I’m in Monterey Park, there are three TVs to choose from that all have cable boxes. If I’m in Sacto, I’ll need a high speed connection to use the LF-B10 anyway.

I then decided that I would hook up the LF-B10 to my sister’s cable box. That’s when I discovered that the LF-B10 had an Ethernet port, making use of the device pretty complicated; I’d have to run about 50′ of Ethernet cable from my home router to the LF-B10. Compounding the problem was the fact that her TV is used frequently.

(Background: The LF-B10 works by connecting directly to your cable box via a composite cable. From a remote computer, you can log in to the LF-B10 and view the device’s live video stream, and you can even change the channel on the cable box using the included IR adapter that affixes to the front of the cable box. Of course, if somebody should change the channel on the cable box while you’re accessing it remotely, you’re stuck watching what they switch to, unless you cruelly change the channel back :P).

So I determined that installing the LF-B10 on my sister’s cable box was a terrible idea, due to all the “traffic.” That’s when I decided to hook it up to my mom’s cable box, which is HARDLY used.

(She has a $1,000—at the time of purchase—Samsung LCD HDTV that she hardly uses, either, in the sense that 99% of her TV-watching is of SD broadcasts or DVDs. Sad, huh?)

Unfortunately, it would have taken a lot of Ethernet cabling to hook up the LF-B10 to the home router. That’s when I got the great idea to purchase an Ethernet to wireless adapter. The idea was quickly sunk, though, until I heard of the Fonera.

Now, I knew that DD-WRT capable routers could be used as wireless bridges (Ethernet to wireless adapters), but I wasn’t going to fork up ~ $50 for a Linksys WRT54G/GS/GL just for this ability. $15 and a bit (or so I thought) of elbow grease for the same functionality? Why not?

If only it were that simple…

(Part 2 to come later!)

Tags: ddwrt, fonera, fontenna, la fon, lf-b10, linksys, putty, redboot, sony locationfree, ssh, tftp, The Office, vxworks killer, wrt54gs by Peter
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