UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog

I have a splitting headache, so I’ll make this one quick.

I had few expectations going into this past Thursday’s episode of The Office—do you blame me?—and had even less so when Jim and Pam were nowhere to be seen at the beginning of the episode.  Their absences have to lower the overall episode score by at least two points out of ten, right?

The episode started out slowly, dragged on and on, and nearly got me to stop watching at one point. The whole scene in the restaurant bored me to tears, even Andy’s scene where he had to go jump-start some woman’s car.  Dwight and Andy’s plan to “convince” Michael that Grotti wasn’t part of the mob not only saved the episode, but it actually made the entire episode overall somewhat enjoyable.  My favorite exchange:

Dwight:  …I am talking about convincing Michael that the guy’s not mafia.

Andy:  That seems a little far-fetched.

Dwight:  Well, more far-fetched than a mobster walking into a paper company for a low level shakedown?  And that happened.”

(One minor gripe about this episode:  Michael, Dwight, and Andy all thought that Grotti’s e-mail to Michael was a threat, and not a common sales tactic!  I can only come to one of three conclusions:

1. No salesperson in The Office has ever had another sales person with another company.
2. Andy magically forgot everything he learned about sales from his time in the Stamford branch.
3. It’s no wonder that Dunder Mifflin is a failing paper company.

Although, I suppose not all three conclusions are mutually exclusive.)

It pains me to say this because I love Kevin’s character, but I could not stand his act in this episode.  Committing identity fraud by taking a call designed to prevent identity fraud?  And why did Jim have a pay stub on his desk like that?  Actually, I have a better question:  how did Kevin get access to Jim’s office in the first place?  Or could Dunder Mifflin not afford a lock for his door?

Another thing…in this exchange:

Dwight:  Did he threaten you?

Michael:  No, Dwight, not everything is a threat.

Andy:  Mobsters are.

Michael:  There is no such thing as monsters.

was that an unedited goof, or am I seriously supposed to believe that Michael stumbled upon the word “mobster,” the way he stumbles upon one big dictionary word per episode?

Finally, couldn’t the episode have ended with something happening to Michael that necessitated insurance?  Was it too much to ask for somebody to plow into the garage of his condo?  Couldn’t Michael have burned his foot again on his George Foreman grill?  Couldn’t some idiot with the vanity license plate “DA MOB” rear-end him?

(Too cheesy?  OK.)

And please don’t point out that, even if it’s true, supplemental insurance doesn’t cover any of the things listed above.  Did I mention my head hurts?

Tags: mafia, review, The Office by Peter
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Go!

- My friends in Morocco, Japan, and Italy, I assure you that Michael Scott is only kidding. You too, Ca-NA-da.

I hope.

- Michael: “My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client, and I have always been intrigued by all things international: the women, the pancakes, the “man of mystery.” Michael Scott, star of “Match Game 2008!”

- Jim sure is grinning a lot. I’m certain it is because he’s in charge while Michael is away!

(Uh-huh.)

- Kevin’s butt slap of Jim was the most unfunny thing I’ve ever seen that still caused me to spit water all over my monitor.

And yes, it took me more than a few seconds to figure out what was going to happen in one week. I must be sleepy.

- $50 for per diem? Winnipeg in November??? You’re a brave man, Michael. A brave man, or an idiot. Probably an idiot.

- LOL. Andy and Oscar get to go with Michael…but they don’t get business class seats? Sucks to be them.

- Did Michael get hit by a drink cart, or was he shot?

(This episode is putting me to sleep. It better get better in a hurry!)

- Wait a second…why is Ryan headed back to where Kelly is? Don’t tell me Michael is re-hiring him as a salesman!

Nice one-armed pushups, by the way.

- Raise your hand if you didn’t see Ryan and Kelly doing something right after Kelly’s talking head.

- Michael: “The concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure, and when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.” OK.

- Pam: “I have to stay and retake it.” Please, please, please, don’t tell me that this means Pam is going to stay in NY until the end of the season!

(PLEASE!!!)

“That means another twelve weeks.” Well, at least it won’t be a Winter break cliffhanger!

Poor Jim and Pam. Is it just me, or does Jim kinda doesn’t want Pam in NY, and does Pam kinda wants to be back in Scranton?

(Yeah, kinda. And I kinda like ice cream.)

- Michael: “Everybody’s going to end up dying someday, and I think it’s better to die with some people that you like, like Oscar, and Andy, and concierge Marie, than to know that there’s somebody out there that you love that you’re not with.” It’s pretty obvious that this is referring to Holly…but could he be talking about Jan here?

- Oscar: “How can ANYONE stand that woman [Angela]?” Ask Dwight.

- Sign that this episode is boring me to tears: I didn’t even crack a smile at the entire drunk-dialing scene with Andy and Oscar (am I using the term “drunk-dialing” correctly?)

- OK, Dwight explaining why he knew that Pam was going to fail in art school actually made me laugh a bit. Seriously, this episode is awful.

- Andy’s realization that he called Angela while drunk might have saved what might end up being the worst episode of The Office to date.

- I take that back. The text message/breakup between Kelly and Darryl, Darryl’s “It’s cool” response, and a kicking-up-his-heels Darryl walking towards his truck might have saved this episode.

- Andy: “Oh man, she is so pissed. She’s taking us back to first base.” Oscar: “What’s first base with Angela?” Andy: “I get to kiss her forehead.”

- Please allow me to change my opinion again. Michael finally realizing that the business trip was anything but great saved tonight’s episode. Sure, the rant about the shuttle, the flight, and the hotel was classic idiot Michael, but for him to call out David Wallace for sending away Holly was shocking. Yes, it was highly inappropriate, but incredible at the same time! Like I always say, sympathetic Michael is the most entertaining Michael on this show.

- Michael: “…Why have I stayed at Dunder-Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck, because I could be making more money as a doctor, or a professional athlete. I think it’s because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you even though you just tell him off right to his face, over the phone. That’s respect.” Idiot Michael is fun, too.

- Who didn’t expect Jim to see Pam in the parking lot there?

- Pam: “It’s not because of you.” Sure it isn’t.

- Dwight: “You’re back.” LOL, freaking Dwight.

- Ryan: “I…I realized that, for whatever reason, I just couldn’t do better than Kelly.” Stupid, stupid Ryan!

Great way to end an otherwise forgettable episode.

- Time for my review:

“Forgettable” describes this episode nicely. It was way too predictable (Pam’s back? Kelly and Ryan are back together?), and the first fifteen minutes of the episode bordered on completely unwatchable. The last five minutes absolutely saved tonight’s episode. Ryan and Kelly’s second go-around doesn’t interest me in the least (though I’m still laughing a bit at Darryl’s reaction to the break-up), Dwight was woefully underused (Why didn’t the writers send him along on Michael’s trip???), and Pam’s abrupt return to Scranton was, in a word, dumb.

I know I was clamoring for a quick end to the long-distance part of the Jim/Pam relationship, but I was prepared to wait until after the Winter break for resolution. For the writers to bring Pam back to Scranton like that is just plain awful. It’s as if the writers wanted to stretch out their storyline to the winter break, and then immediately realized that they were going to run out of material a few weeks before the Winter break. I could imagine the writers finishing the script the day of the taping, ultimately deciding to bring Pam back to Scranton ASAP. What’s next for them? Are we going to see tensions develop between them? Will Jim try to push Pam back towards the art program again?

So the Andy-Angela relationship is back to “first base,” huh? What happens next with their relationship? I’m surprised that, given how quickly the writers sent Pam back to Scranton, the writers didn’t immediately have Angela dump Andy and profess her love for Dwight! Would anyone have been surprised if Andy’s drunk call caused that to happen? That being said, I hope that the tensions between Angela and Andy, as a result of the drunk call, is a theme that carries throughout the rest of the Andy/Angela/Dwight storyline.

The truly redeeming scene of tonight’s episode, though, had to be Michael’s chewing out of David Wallace. It was great to see Michael pour his heart out, explaining how “sucky” the entire situation was. There’s no way Wallace gets that go without disciplining Michael, right? If not, then what was the point of tonight’s episode? Of course, the show won’t work if he leaves the office, but would a storyline where Michael might really considering leaving Dunder-Mifflin be that outrageous?

Consider this a first-draft of my review of tonight’s episode. I’ll probably watch the episode again later, and hopefully, I’ll have better things to say about it.  Tonight’s episode could not really be that bad, could it?

Right?

As it stands right now, I didn’t see the worst episode of The Office of all time, but I’m thinking “bottom five” for sure.  Extremely disappointing, coming off such a strong episode last week!

Until next time.

Tags: business trip, review, running blog, The Office by Peter
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On with the running blog!

- Engaged??? WTF???

(LOL!)

- Darryl: “I was there, and that dude is not engaged. I’m not a big believer in therapy, but…I’ll go into my own pocket to cover his copay.” LOL

- Andy: “Big idea! Double wedding! Me, Angela, you, Holly.” Remember this?

Bad, Bad Jim, for not telling the rest of the office about your engagement!

(thinks about it for a second…)

(thinks about it for thirty seconds…)

Smart move, Jim! Seriously, why the heck would he want to tell anyone about their engagement? Why, so Michael can throw them a stupid party? So Dwight could say something wholly inappropriate? So Andy could ask Jim if they could do a double-wedding?

Damn I’m good!

- OMG. Michael is actually calling his mother to tell her that he’s supposedly getting married?

- Michael: “Whenever I’m getting married, you…don’t believe me.” Gee, I wonder why she wouldn’t believe you! Well, at least Michael won’t be spending the rest of the episode trying to perpetuate his lie.

- Jim: “Those reports [the customer evaluations] affect our bonuses, which is kinda great for me…because you wouldn’t know from looking at her, but…Pam’s a gold digger.” 2:44, and we have our first spit-take of the evening.

- Pam: “Hey! (inaudible) New York ain’t free!  Get back to work!” 2:47, and we have our second spit-take of the evening, except that one was much more forceful than the first :P.

(Thanks to my sister for figuring out what Pam said.)

- Pam: “We wanna stay on the phone all day, but the company has a policy against eight-hour personal calls, so we’re not telling anyone.”

- Pam and Jim, at the exact same time: “A sprinkle of cinnamon.” AWWWWWWWWWWW.

- Abrasive and distasteful. That sounds about accurate.

- OK, I can already tell that the “World’s Smallest Bluetooth [Headset]” is going to make this episode awesome.

- Ah, a Jim-Dwight “special” moment. Gee, why is Jim’s head tilted in one direction?

- “Good luck.” “Thanks.” “I didn’t say anything!” “I love you.” “I love you too.” “What do you think I’m saying to you?” “I’m not talking to you.” I’m crying here.

- Dwight: “I’ve caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser! Get a friend, loser!”

- Michael: ” ‘Jim Halpert…is smudge and arrogant.’ ” “And there’s our smudgeness.”

- Jim: “…and if history tells us anything, it’s that you can’t go wrong buying a house you can’t afford.” Ouch! Financial meltdown smack! “Pam doesn’t know about the house, so it’s a…fun surprise.” Oh oh.

And for the record, I am thoroughly enjoying Jim turning on and off his Bluetooth earpiece from time to time.

- Pam: “Maybe it’s because you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist.” Jim: “Little bit. Worth it.” Gag. And that might explain this past year, but what about the four years prior to this year?

- Micro-gemant? OK.

- OK, I’m seriously crying here over the entire role-play between Dwight and Jim. Last week, I was given Dwight v Andy, and now Dwight v Jim? More, more, more!

Is it too early for me to declare tonight’s episode the best one of the season so far?

- Jim: “The three words I would describe you as [are] aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult!” LOL!!!!!!!

- Jim: “There is one condition, Michael. You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.” Dwight: “Don’t do it, Michael.” Michael (whispering to Dwight): “It’s a million dollar sale.” Michael’s bosses ought to be so proud.

- There is paranoia, and then there is what Dwight is going through. And I can’t believe Jim actually got into Dwight’s car.

- Gee, who didn’t see what place Andy was going to rent out for the wedding, given Angela’s demands? Did he use TripAdvisor to find the place? And why is Andy acting like renting out Dwight’s B&B is going to be a good thing?

- Kelly: “And maybe if you were a little bit more nice and polite, people wouldn’t give you such bad customer reviews.” OMG. Kelly…made sense???

- Kelly: “Get out of my nook.” Pam: “That’s what she said! That’s what she said!” Awkwardly funny, most definitely.

- OMG. Dwight’s conspiracy theory…was…RIGHT ON??? Even Jim can’t believe it!

(My jaw is still on the floor, five minutes later.)

- Oh oh. Here comes the “wrench.” I wonder if Pam will actually turn off her earpiece.

- Aw crap, he’s being a wrench, of course, but not at all (so it might appear) in the way I expected him to be.

- No, there was nothing at all strange about that final scene with Dwight, Angela, and Andy.

What a fantastic episode, for the second week in a row! We had another wonderful clash—this time between Dwight and Jim—and this time, we got another bit character heavily involved in a storyline.

(Yes, I’m still crying over the Dwight-Jim mock phone call.)

I have to applaud Kelly for being able to nearly pull off such an elaborate scheme (and kudos to Jr. Gumshoe Pam Beesly for finding the clue that incriminated Kelly!). I’m still in utter shock that it Dwight was RIGHT about Kelly being involved in the whole scheme, but does this mean that Dwight really isn’t aggressive, hostile, and difficult?

The final scene, with Dwight presenting Andy and Angela a Schrute Farms wedding arrangement, was a fantastic touch to end the episode (even though the Jim-Pam “shippers” still had a bad taste in their mouths from the previous scene), especially with Angela and Dwight exchanging pleasant smiles at the end. With one major relationship (Michael-Holly) seemingly over, the writers need to place more emphasis, in the immediate future, on the Dwight-Andy-Angela struggle. Also, kudos to the writers for giving Michael just one scene involving his currently-off relationship with Holly.

The episode was great…right up until the nineteen minute mark, where a gigantic-sized monkey wrench finally got thrown into the Jim-Pam relationship. However, as remarked above, it wasn’t close to the type of wrench I expected. Pam’s NY friend…actually made a hell of a lot of sense. Could he be keeping her in NY for a future relationship? That’s possible. For now, though, just think about what what he said, and how right on the mark he is. What good would spending three months in an art program in NY be, if Pam’s going to return to Scranton right after it’s over? Off the top of my head, I can’t think of too many art-related career fields that could be pursued there.

Think back to the restaurant scene of “Employee Transfer.” Remember how Jim vehemently defended Pam’s choice of pursuing an art degree? Now what is Jim to do? If he really believed that Pam is going to be successful, doesn’t he have to echo those sentiments to her? Doesn’t he have to tell her to stay in New York? You could kinda tell, by looking at Jim’s reaction at the very end of the episode, that he knows what’s right for Pam, and that, unfortunately, isn’t what’s right for him. And what does that do to Jim’s plans of buying his parents’ house? Assuming he was buying the house for himself and Pam, and assuming that his parents live somewhere in PA (the latter being not a safe assumption, of course), what’s the point of buying the house now? I wonder if the writers will continue this thread in a future episode.

In any event, this decision that Pam is going to have to make will clearly lead up right to the winter break, if not longer.

Again, this could easily have been, at the very least, a winter-break episode, where Jim would have the next few weeks to decide what he should advise Pam on doing. Couple that with the antics of Jim v Dwight, and I’m almost glad that I watched the past two episodes back-to-back. In fact, both of these episodes could have been run together as a single hour-long episode.

I’ll end my review of this episode with a question, and I hope that anybody that comes across this review and gets to the end takes the time to answer this question: Are you surprised that neither Jim nor Pam, at any moment in that second-to-last scene, did not even think about reaching for his or her earpiece?

Until next time!

Tags: customer survey, review, The Office by Peter
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Ugh…I’m two Office episodes behind??? Let’s get to it!

(There’s no sense in me posting a “live” blog for an episode that aired a week ago, so I’m going to format this episode review like the ones from Season 4, where I give you my thoughts, and then end it with a list of favorite moments.)

This episode could easily have been a season finale. It was really that great! Sure, it started off a bit slowly, and I was kinda disappointed that the writers only spent a couple minutes on the Halloween theme—is Jim Halpert allergic to Halloween costumes?—but the rest of the episode MUCH MORE than made up for the beginning.  I might argue that this episode is (so far) the best episode of the season!

Now what is Michael to do, with Holly in New Hampshire? I hope that is not the end of Holly’s character; she grew on me very quickly, and her interactions with Michael were, in my opinion, better than those during the Michael-Jan relationship. Watching Michael acting exponentially more and more pathetic as the episode wore on was awesome, especially with Darryl sitting right beside them. I’m glad that Michael decided NOT to stick around Holly’s new place afterwards. Speaking of Jan, now does Michael try to get back with her? Or has that ship sailed?

(Remember how I commented about how the sad, pathetic, almost-humanized Michael Scott makes this show great? We got a classic example of this in this episode.)

By the way, when I first saw the title of this episode, it actually took me a while to realize who was being transferred…

The whole Andy-Dwight standoff throughout the episode had me laughing my ass off.

(Please, writers, more of this!)

What made their standoff even better was the fact that neither one of them made a play at Angela throughout the episode. Didn’t I say that some of the past episodes have been too relationship-heavy? The entire Dwight-Andy subplot was a welcome change to all that. I actually found myself rooting for Andy at the end, and I was rewarded when Andy pointed out that he would be conducting Dwight’s college interview! Extra points to Andy for impersonating Dwight at the end of the episode, beets and all!

(Seriously, I’m still wiping tears off my face over the interview.)

I will admit that I enjoyed watching Jim’s brothers prank Jim, even when it became obvious that Pam was not amused by the prank. Did they cross the line? Sure, especially with the drawing a picture to pay the check line, but who wasn’t rooting for Jim to leap across the table and pound some sense into one of his brothers? However, we finally got to see Jim and Pam drift closer together (rather than splitting further apart, as was the trend of the past few episodes), and we should thank Jim’s brothers for that. Jim’s approval of Pam’s prank idea, followed by the text message from his brother, should have been extra satisfying to all you Jim-Pam fans. I still smell a severe relationship turn by the winter break, though, one that will seriously put a strain on both of them..

Favorite moments:

• Creed’s Joker costume.
• Kelly: “Stanley! I thought you hated Halloween!” Phyllis: “Shhhh…he wears it so that he can sleep at his desk.” Brilliant!
• Did Andy dress as a kitten (WTF?) to impress Angela, or was that Angela’s idea? And “Dave???”
• Pam: “…and I can’t even take off my hat, because then I’m Hitler.”
• Dwight wearing that Cornell sweater. Real smooth, Dwight.
• “Life is a highway! I wanna ride it ALL NIGHT LONG!” LOL at Darryl singing along as well.
• Watching Jim’s brothers come up with the idea to jokingly (or not) trash Pam was awesome…in a really sad, “Poor Pam!” kind of way. It was also really damn funny.

(What can I say? I’m evil!)

• Can we start a “Stop Michael From Butching Songs” petition?
• Michael: “Did Darryl touch you?” LOL!
• Michael: “…and I’ve dated almost four women…no, in like the last ten years.” Extra points for that sneaky “That’s what she said” at the very end of their conversation.
• Michael: “…I’m going to make this way harder than it needs to be.” Of course you are.
• Michael (again): “Here’s my wish. I want you to meet a great guy, and I want you to be happy.” Awwww. “My wish has come true, incidentally, because you’ve met me, and you are happy.” Clever, Mike.
• One of Jim’s brothers: “Maybe Pam should pay the check by drawing a picture on this napkin.” Ok, that was mean, but damn funny at the same time.
• Michael: “…I’ll go back to Jan, and I hate Jan!” Whoa! Where did that come from???
• Andy: “…looks like I will be conducting your University interview!” OH SNAP!!!
• That entire “interview” with Andy and Dwight might have been the funniest scene of the entire season!
• Text message: “Pam cool. Welcome to the family.” And you just knew Jim would have liked Pam’s prank over his brothers’ prank.
• LOL at Michael “singing” the blues. So pathetic…yet kinda sad at the same time.
• LMFAO at Andy dressed as a farmer!!!
• Dwight: “Cornell.”

Tags: employee transfer, review, The Office by Peter
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I’m sleepy—errands will do that to you!—but I’ll try to be as coherent as possible.

Random thoughts while sitting at the laundromat:

(Tangent: We go to the laundromat about once a year, and only because we had to wash our comforters. Also, we were out of quarters, so we couldn’t use the laundry rooms here in my condominium complex.)

- I had some McDonalds food today (yeah, I know), and as I was peeling out the Monopoly game pieces from my drink, a thought occured to me: what if I found a rare piece now?

(In case you didn’t know, one property of each Monopoly is much rarer than the others.)

How would I complete the Monopoly? Would I have to eat a bunch more times at McDonalds to get the remaining pieces?

It didn’t dawn upon me until much, much later that I could probably find someone on a message board and ask for the remaining pieces. Then again, what if everyone there is totally heartless, and they demand half of my winnings in exchange for the non-rare pieces?

No, I did not get a rare piece.

- Hey, moron that stole the wheeled-basket-thingy I was using to empty the dryer I was using: when I push the basket-thingy towards a dryer filled with clothes, it’s probably a safe bet that I’m GOING TO USE IT!!!

You know what else might indicate that I’m going to use said basket? The fact that I grabbed some clothes from the dryer, and got ready to toss them in the general direction of where the basket should have been!

A$$hole.

- Speaking of a dryer, I’ve a question for all you loyal readers of my blog (all none of you):

You have two dryers full of clothes (A and B). The clothes in A are completely dry, and there’s about six minutes left in the cycle (one quarter = 12 minutes). The clothes in B aren’t completely dry yet, and B just ran out of time.

EDIT:  Here’s some additional information to consider:

• Both dryers have the same amount of clothes in them, roughly.
• A and B are adjacent to one another; you wouldn’t have to walk halfway across the laundromat to move the clothes from one to the other.

Would you transfer the clothes from B to A, or would you shove another quarter into B?

- And finally, courtesy of my sister:

My sister ordered a Fruit n’ Yogurt Parfait from McDonalds, and when she got around to eating it, we noticed that she wasn’t given a spoon! Immediately, I noticed a restaurant right outside the laundromat, and I told her to go there and ask for a plastic spoon. Certainly the restaurant wouldn’t refuse that tiny request, right?

Hey, Miriam’s Cuisine on Sherman Way, just east of Reseda: look, we get it that the economy is slumping. We understand that small Mom & Pops are struggling to stay in business. That being said, you couldn’t spare us one plastic spoon? How much could a plastic spoon cost? A penny

(I could understand their reaction if she asked for a plastic cup, but not a spoon!)

And please don’t stare at my sister as if she was trying to rob the place, just because she was asking for a plastic spoon.

And to the guy who chimed in with “We only have silverware!”: if that were true, then why did the woman at the front say that we’d have to buy something in order to get one?

ONE FREAKING PLASTIC SPOON! Are you people kidding me??? I wonder what would have happened if I walked in with a cut on my hand, and asked for a napkin.

OK, one tacos plate, and a napkin to stop the bleeding, please! What? I have to pay first?

One plastic spoon…

- On to my late-as-usual review of Thursday’s episode of The Office:

“Crime Aid” wasn’t as bad as the second episode of the season (”Business Ethics“), but it wasn’t nearly as good as last week’s episode (”Baby Shower“). Could it be that a Michael-Holly relationship just isn’t as entertaining as a Michael-Jan relationship? Or maybe the episode needed more Jim-Pam interactions? I found it a bit hard to get into “Crime Aid” until late into the episode.

(Wouldn’t it have been funny if the writers paid homage to The Office’s Thursday night competition on CBS, CSI, by offering a scene or two where a character (ahem…Dwight) pulls out some fingerprint dust, latex gloves, and/or a blacklight? This should have happened!)

Well, the Michael-Holly relationship just hit a MAJOR snag, in the form of David Wallace. What’s next for the happy couple? Will Holly be fired over this? Will Michael actually get reprimanded? Maybe Michael can convince David that his relationship with Holly is as beneficial as Meredith’s relationship with the rep from Hammermill :P. If I had to put money on it, I’d say that Holly’s job is in trouble. Hmmm…is there anybody in the office that is qualified for a promotion to a corporate position?

I did like how Jim quickly U-turned on his way to New York. Is that a sign of Jim being secure with his relationship with Pam, or a sign of a further drift between the two of them? I’m just praying that the writers don’t use Roy as the wedge between Jim and Pam. I understand that there really isn’t another reason for bringing Roy’s character back on the show, but that’s the problem I have with Roy being the foil to the Jim-Pam relationship; it’s just too convenient and obvious. Ryan? Now that might be more fun.

By the way, I said it before, and I’ll say it again: Roy’s “Wow…I mean, you were a friend” was incredible. Roy could stop showing up on the show for the rest of the show’s run, and nothing could drive a stake further through Jim and Pam’s long-distance relationship than that single line.

I really loved the whole Phyllis-Dwight interaction throughout the episode. For a minute, I thought that Phyllis was actually going to get through to Dwight. How silly of me. I wonder how many people in the office, minus Andy, of course, doesn’t know of the Dwight-Angela shenanigans. I’m guessing that number is small enough to be counted on one hand, and if that’s the case, don’t you think someone should tell Andy?

Then again, why prematurely kill off a storyline that you know will be a winter break (if not a summer break) cliffhanger, in a season where several potential cliffhangers are possible?

(So I made this point in my running blog of “Crime Aid:”

Bob Vance just bid $1,000 for a hug from his own wife. David Wallace and Dwight both tried to outbid him for that hug.

It’s the scenes like this one that really make the show great. You all can have the scenes where Jim destroys Dwight, or the scenes where Michael does something stupid, but what really makes the show great is how personable most of the characters can be.

Let me elaborate on this point. We know that the show revolves around Michael’s idiocy, Dwight’s antics, Jim and Pam, and to a lesser extent (now), Angela and Andy. What I love equally as much about the show, though, is how the show respects the lesser characters enough to feature them in main plots during a particular episode. The second episode of the season and last season’s “Did I Stutter?” immediately come to mind. More importantly, it can be argued that the lesser characters are just as important to the success of the show as the main characters.

“Crime Aid” revolves around Michael trying to raise funds to replace stuff that was stolen from the office via an auction that, on the surface, sounds like something nobody would ever want to take part in. However, look at the scene where Bob Vance gets in a bidding war with David Wallace and Dwight over a hug from his own wife. Jim excepted (LOL), it sure looks like several people wanted to be at the auction by the end of the episode.

When I described most of the characters as “personable,” I mean that they are entertaining, and more importantly, they are engaging; you want to see what happens to them, because you know of their importance to the atmosphere of the office.

I’ve written the last three paragraphs over about 50 times, and I am still not sure if I got my point across :P.)

Until next time!

Tags: crime aid, laundromat, mcdonalds, miriam's cuisine, monopoly game, plastic spoon, rare pieces, review, stolen basket, The Office by Peter
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It’s that time again.

- Boy, neither Pam nor Ryan are ever going to escape Dunder-Mifflin, are they?

And why is corporate so lax on personal calls?  Man, I want to work for Dunder-Mifflin!

Actually, let me think about that…

- Yeah, Michael and Holly are perfect for each other.

And where can you buy a whole set of putt-putt golf clubs?

- Michael:  “In my opinion, the third date is the one…where you have sex.”  Really?

“If she starts having sex with me, I’ll know for sure.”  I just spit Dr. Pepper all over my monitor.

- Andy’s handing out Save the Dates already?

- Phyllis:  “You know I know.  You know THEY know.”  I love that the writers are giving Phyllis more lines.

- Michael:  “Some of what we order depends on if we’re having sex after.”  Wow.

“Are we gonna have sex tonight?”  “Hell yeah.”  WTF?

- Dwight:  “Why is she marrying Andy?”  For those of you that have read my prior Office episode reviews, I am a big fan of Michael any time he needs sympathy.  The same can be said for Dwight, like in his second conversation with Phyllis.  You almost feel sorry for him!

Almost…”That’s really fattening!”

- LMFAO at the entire scene with Michael and Holly making out.

- I was wondering why this episode was entitled “Crime Aid.”  Poor Kevin!  He got his surge protector stolen :P.

(BTW, did Oscar say his “labtop” was stolen???)

Oh oh…did Holly and Michael’s, um, session, have something to do with the robbery?

- Michael:  “So much for sex without consequences.”

- Is going to Phyllis for relationship advice really a good idea?  Well, at least Dwight didn’t go to Michael.

And, of course, leave it to Dwight to get what he wanted, and then dump Phyllis on a different floor.

- Creed:  “Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it.  The last person to do this disappeared.  His name?  Creed Bratton.”  I need not say a thing.

- A charity auction?  “Crime Aid!”  Got it!

- Phyllis was in a sorority?  And why did the camera pan over Stanley when Michael mentioned auctioning off people “like in the olden days?”  LOL.

- Oscar:  “So, in order to recoup the value of items we liked, we have to spend more money on things we don’t want.”  Spoken like a true accountant.

(Actually that was spoken like anyone with half a brain.)

- Holly:  “He knows how to get things.  He got me.”  Whoa!

- Wow, Dwight really gave Angela the ultimatum!

- )@(*$)($()*#)@()!!!! MICHAEL!  BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN DID NOT SING “The Heart of Rock & Roll,” you buffoon.

- C.R.I.M.E. - A.I.D. = Crime Reduces Innocence, Makes Everyone Angry, I Declare.

I typed that out just to see how many hits my blog gets from a search of that phrase :P.

- Darryl:  “Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs.  Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News.  One was Tracy Chapman…’Fast Car.’  And my personal favorite:  ‘Short People.’”  Tracy Chapman???

- A yoga lesson?  Offered by Holly?  $300???

- Michael:  “It squeaks when you bang it.  That’s what she said.”  YES!!!!!!

- Damn that Darryl…what a smart guy!  Conflict of interest?  LOL.

Jim:  “Five dollars.”  Darryl:  “Sold!  To Jim!”

- Oh oh…I was wondering if we were ever going to see Roy again.  Sure, he’s not gonna beat up Jim now, but what’s gonna happen when he finds out that Jim’s engaged to Pam?

- Kevin’s willing to do someone’s taxes?  Now that has real value!  So, naturally, no one is bidding.

- Poor Dwight.

(I wonder if there’s anything significant about 6:14 PM being Angela’s deadline to make a decision.)

- What the hell?  David Wallace not only dropped by and didn’t fire Michael on the spot, but he’s actually offering to auction off something???

- Yes, Dwight, that’s it.  Move on.

And that slap that Phyllis gave to Dwight needed to be about ten thousand times harder than it actually was.

“What did Phyllis do wrong?  I’ll tell you what Phyllis did wrong.  She stuck her nose into my business and tried to help me.”  WTF?

- Wow, Jim actually told Roy that he’s engaged to Pam…and Jim’s still conscious?

- Roy:  “Wow….I mean, you were a friend.”  Incredible line, for the possible double meaning behind it.

- Of course…the Springsteen tickets were stolen.

That is, if they existed in the first place.

(EDIT:  Mystery solved!)

- Bob Vance just bid $1,000 for a hug from his own wife.  David Wallace and Dwight both tried to outbid him for that hug.

It’s the scenes like this one that really make the show great.  You all can have the scenes where Jim destroys Dwight, or the scenes where Michael does something stupid, but what really makes the show great is how personable most of the characters can be.

I know; that sounds pretty weird, but I really mean that, and I’ll try to elaborate on this point during my review.

- Was that an illegal U-turn?  And who didn’t see that coming?

- Busted!  You knew David Wallace wasn’t going to be there without something bad happening to someone.

Full review to come!

Tags: crime aid, review, running blog, The Office by Peter
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I’ve got rants about WalMart, rants about Fantasy Football, and (hopefully) a resolution to my complaint with Costco, but I can deal with all of those another time.

On to my Office running blog!

- Dwight in an apron? Oh wait…he’s pretending to carry a baby??? This episode already blows last week’s episode out of the water!

- Jim: “Now, this baby will be related to Michael through (draws a ? on a whiteboard) delusion.” I couldn’t have put it any better myself.

- Tell me that he had some container of water under that apron.

Oh my…

- Dwight: “Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.” Growing up? Oh my.

- Was this episode rated R? ZE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!!!

- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW….AND HE’S EATING THE WATERMELON????????

(passes out)

That might have been the worst (not bad, just absolutely ridiculous) first two minutes in Office history.

- “AS-TIRD?” Nice…I think.

(EDIT:  I actually had to go back to this point in the episode—you’ll see why later—to check the spelling of “AS-TIRD” on the M&M bowl.)

- Michael (to Phyllis): “…we gave you your wedding shower here…we all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. Well you know what? Where’s my golden shower?” Seriously?

- That phone call between Jim and Pam was pretty telling, no? Great…an entire season filled with Jim-Pam moments of them starting to drift away…?

- Gee, I wonder who the little black kid is?

(But seriously, that’s pretty awesome that the entire cast donated their baby pics to this episode, assuming that those pics are real, and why wouldn’t they be?)

- Angela (to Andy, after he stuck his baby pic next to what he thought was Angela’s baby pic): “That’s Phyllis.” Oh crap!

- LOL! Is that really Angela?

- No, that whole conversation with Michael and Holly was not weird at all. “And I’m treating Ryan the same way.” WTF?

- Thank you Stanley, but I do not care to hear about your sore nipples. *gag*

- Dwight: “Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn’t there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody’s. Except Michael’s.” That about sums up the first part of this episode.

- Ah, it’s “AS-TRID” You kids out there named Astrid might want to change your names, anyway.

- Thank goodness Jan did not let Michael pick up the baby.

- Michael: “If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no…government.”

- Wow, he wasn’t kidding about being cold to Holly.

- I agree with Dwight…$1200 for a stroller? That thing better have an ABS system and air bags on it!

- Dwight: “$1200 is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter.” Is that a good thing? “For that kind of money, the stroller should be indestructible.” I can’t believe this. I’m totally agreeing with Dwight!

(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

- And the Jim-Pam drift continues…

So Jan is singing a wholly inappropriate song to the baby, huh? She should have sung Hunter’s love song :P.

- Of course…Creed is the only one eating cake while Jan talked about her tub birth.

- Michael: “I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid, I felt…shortchanged.” Oh oh.

- It appears Darryl is busy as usual.

- Thank goodness…if Darryl had sat on Michael’s lap or something, I would have banned The Office from my house.

- Ok, that scene with Holly and Jan was AWESOME.

- WTF Angela??? And turn off the flash, at least!

- Wow, that stroller really is worth $1200!

- Jan (to Michael): “Don’t date Holly.” Hmmmmmm…does somebody still have feelings for somebody?

- Michael: “Wanna go out?” Holly: “Yes.” That was quick.

- Michael: “I didn’t feel much when I held Astrid. But I got a good feeling from Holly.” Great line to close the episode with!

- Oh, that last scene…*sniff*

(Where’s my box of kleenex?)

- Here’s my review:

The episode was definitely a bit too relationship-heavy for my liking, and it sure looks like that will be the norm for the remainder of the season.

One relationship at a time:

1) Angela/Andy/Dwight: The tension between these two is amazingly underrated. We know that Angela has nothing in common with Andy, and she’s only with him because Dwight chased her away. I just love how she is getting more and more uncomfortable with Andy as the season progresses (did you she how uncomfortable she got with all the baby talk? It’s a shame that she was pregnant in real life last season.). Too bad Dwight was too busy, um, testing the stroller, to perform any extra-curricular activities with Angela this time around.

2) Michael/Jan/Holly: So what do we make of Jan telling Michael not to date Holly? Is Holly really not right for Michael, or does Jan still have feelings for Michael.

(Survey says…the latter, most definitely.)

In a move that should have surprised no one, those words actually pushed Michael (literally!) into Holly’s arms, and now it seems Holly and Michael are officially an item. I’m guessing we are not close to seeing the end of Jan visiting the office, probably with AS-TRID in tow. Or maybe Jan just cares about Michael too much, and really thinks that Holly is not right for her.

(Not a chance.)

3) Jim/Pam: Just when we thought they were seemingly drifting apart, that dual voice mail “call” showed just how close they really are. At the same time, though, the phone call seems to tease that they are now so far “off” that, maybe, just maybe, they need to question whether or not their relationship is going to work.

I hope the writers do not introduce a third person into their relationship, as the barrier between them—the drive to NY from Scranton, namely—is obstacle enough. In just one episode—I’d aruge just one moment—the writers have now brought serious doubts to the minds of us viewers as to whether or not the Jim/Pam relationship will survive.

And you know what? Don’t put it past the writers to decide that the Jim/Pam relationship is headed for failure, as unpopular as that will be!

Tonight’s “storyline” episode was FANTASTIC, despite being so relationship-heavy, and a plethora of one-liners kept me laughing my butt off throughout. How dare I doubt your ability to entertain me, The Office! Shame on me!

Until next time!

Tags: baby shower, review, running blog, The Office by Peter
1 Comment »

Raise your hand if you saw all those plot twists coming! Tonight’s episode was awesome, though I’m not sure where I’d rank it compared to the mid-season premiere.  Did anyone notice how almost R-rated the finale was?  Pregnancies, a marriage proposal, a foiled one, a hazing involving the idea that one worker is “special,” fraud, and a mentally scarring make-out scene at the very end?  Was this The Office or Scranton, PA, [zip code of Scranton]?

Jan’s pregnant? And it’s NOT Michael’s? Not that that was much of a surprise; Michael did have THREE vasectomies, no? And how could he have gotten her pregnant while he was sleeping by the foot of her bed?

(Talking about the three vasectomies still hurts, BTW.)

The donor came from a sperm bank? I thought it was Hunter’s baby for sure! And now Michael thinks he’s back with Jan, throwing away a possible relationship with the new HR girl?  Sure, his “relationship” with Holly was completely rushed, but it looked like he was going to wise up, before Kevin’s fateful call.  And what happened to Jan not wanting kids???

Also, raise your hand if you noticed that Holly kinda resembled Jan. Nice job by casting to get a bunch of actresses to look like Jan after their breakup!

Damn Dwight for telling Holly that Kevin is “special,” causing her to treat Kevin the way she did.  I think Kevin enjoyed Holly’s affection a bit too much.  And I loved the way the other office workers acted around Kevin in the presence of Holly, especially Phyllis’ “Kevin, take your shoes off first!” as he runs towards the moon bouncer.  Holly’s treatment of Kevin got exponentially more weird as the episode progressed.

I guess “the temp” will be spending the next few years in prison for fraud. Yeah, like people weren’t going to figure out that he demanded the sales staff to enter their sales twice. Wunderkind, or what-a-dumbass? And who didn’t enjoy the way Jim taunted Ryan? “…you obviously have your hands tied!”  Talk about dropping a bomb!  Ryan had it coming, though. “Congratulations!  Don’t interrupt!  Congratulations on doing your job.”  What an ass!  As the episode progressed, I was thinking that Ryan was going to try to implicate Jim in the fraud, citing the two “threatening” phone calls as some sort of proof of the allegations.

(Actually, that could be a great future storyline. Ryan could eventually come back on the show and accuse Jim of ratting him out. Of course, that depends on how much time Ryan spends in jail.)

Poor Toby! All he got out of his last day was a party, a watch, a few pics with an unhappy Pam, a horrible tribute song (that’s stuck in my head as we speak), and an escort off the office premises by security?

(Tangent: Did anyone notice that the certificate on the wall behind Michael’s desk is a Certificate of Authenticity for a Seyko [sic] watch? So Toby got a FAKE??? LOL!)

Farewell, Toby Flenderson. Be sure to tell Dwight to update his office hierarchy!

(EDIT: I just noticed that Toby’s “new” watch went off right as he left the office for the last time, just as how Michael set it. Nice attention to detail!)

As for you “Jam” lovers (that’s Jim-Pam, for you non-”shippers” out there, not that I am one), you must have hated the finale. I’m pretty sure you guys were screaming “F**K YOU ANDY!” when Andy stole Jim’s thunder with his own marriage proposal. My sister nearly threw something at my TV when that happened.   What is next to happen in Jim’s relationship with Pam?

(What really stinks about the whole ordeal is that Pam has no idea that it was Jim that put up the money for the entire party!  Yeah, I know…typical guy response…worried about the money :P)

Throughout the episode, I was almost sure that Jim was going to quit his job. From the first phone call to Ryan, to the huge amount of money he spent for the party (I didn’t know you could get a same-day Ferris wheel rental :P), I thought he was gone for sure, whether or not Pam accepted the marriage proposal. Then again, what would the show be without him? And did you see the look on Pam’s face during her last talking head? Then again, could you blame Jim for not proposing after what Andy did? What’s going to happen when (if?) Pam enrolls at the art academy?

During that talking head, did Pam mention starting a family with Jim? How far their relationship advanced in a year’s time!

And Dwight and Angela making out in the darkness of the office? ZE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! And Phyllis was the one to discover this?

Overall, I loved tonight’s episode, especially because of all the potential story lines that this episode set up for next season. By next season, Jan should either be close to giving birth, or would already have had the baby. Pam might already have started her art career, unless she decides against it for some reason. Andy could be in the midst of wedding planning. Maybe Toby will have second thoughts of leaving his position. Maybe Ryan will plea bargain his way out of prison. And what’s going to happen with Jim and Pam?

Most importantly, what the hell am I going to do between now and next season?

Favorite moments:

• Who didn’t enjoy watching Jim screw around with Dwight’s phone? As if the writers weren’t going to give us one interaction between these two in the finale. “Hang that up right now”? Dwight had the phone in his hand. Why didn’t HE hang up? If you’re keeping score at home, that’s now two phones that Dwight has destroyed. (EDIT: I didn’t notice it the first time, but apparently the phone rang again while he was trying to destroy it! HAHA!)

(Tangent: I’ve dealt with five or six different Bluetooth headsets in the past, and I don’t recall EVER getting good sound quality from any more than three feet away from the phone itself. Yet Jim was able to speak to two different people just fine? Amazing!)

• Michael’s shoe money. I don’t even want to imagine how long that money’s been sitting there.
• Pam: “…So the timing’s perfect. And THAT is the first time I’ve ever used the word ‘perfect’ in here!”
• Holly: “What do you do here?” followed by Creed’s talking head. “Qua-something…[qua-sounding junk]…”
• Toby:  (screaming at the top of his lungs) “DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA HERE?”  Something tells me he ran off to the nearest Staples to buy a digital camera.
• Jim explaining that all his firsts with Pam occurred at the office.  How pathetic!  Then again, that makes his attempted proposal to Pam at the party even more fitting.
• Kevin:  “I am totally going to bang Holly!”  Did that come out of right field or what?
• Jim finally growing a pair and chewing out Ryan.  Too bad that Ryan probably never got the message.
• That entire exit interview was awesome, in a truly awkward sense.  I would have loved to see Toby throw the rock through the window.
• Yes, Hank, I thought Kelly’s talking head about visiting Ryan in jail was damn funny.  I’m coming around!
• How did Michael resist the temptation to say “That’s what she said!”???
• Michael getting flustered after Holly touched him, followed by the talking head.  Jan didn’t show affection?  Well, I suppose sex != affection.
• Pam:  “Don’t tell him [Toby] I said this, but I always thought he was kinda cute.”  Wait until that gets back to Toby.
• Michael:  “Are you nauseous?  Do you have cravings?  You never touched by Propecia…?”
• Michael:  “You cheated on me?  When I specifically asked you not to?”
• Holly:  “Andy proposed to one of your accountants…”  Michael:  “Well, I can see Andy proposing to Angela.  I can also see him proposing to Oscar.”  How did I know that was coming?

One final thought: now that Toby has (seemingly) been written off the show, and it seems that Ryan won’t be around (for at least a good while), does this mean that B.J. Novak and Paul Liberstein are no longer going to write/produce on the show? And if they do, wouldn’t it be kinda weird to see their names in the credits, even though their characters are gone?

Tags: goodbye, review, season finale, The Office, toby by Peter
2 Comments »

No quick-hitters, as I still have a headache. Let’s get to it:

- Tonight’s Office started out pretty slowly, but when it got going, it really got going! Tonight, we got the prototypical “storyline” episode; tonight’s episode wasn’t over-the-top funny, but it served its purpose to further a number of existing storylines, and may possibly lay the framework for future episodes. Look what we discovered from tonight’s episode alone!

(BTW, I loved the whole opening scene. Would it have been too rated-R for someone to suggest that Michael put an impression of something else into the cement? Why did Oscar waste his time trying to convince Michael that an impression of his face didn’t seem safe?) And why didn’t Michael’s head get kinda stuck in the cement? That would have been hilarious, in a morbid way…

We know Ryan has issues with Jim for Jim’s interaction with David Wallace, and now we know that Toby hates Jim for his relationship with Pam. Is Jim’s job possibly at risk? Perhaps Jim will be demoted, and Dwight will be promoted to the real #2 and not the #2 in his mind only. Or perhaps Jim will get fed up with the negativity towards him, and he has to choose between keeping his position with the company and staying close to his girlfriend. We’ve got Dwight already against Jim, and now Ryan and Toby…Andy, logically, has to be next to attack Jim, right, perhaps with a little prodding from Angela?

By the way, Toby, what happened to going to Costa Rica? Couldn’t afford the plane ticket? And Pam’s blind as a bat sans corrective lenses, eh? You just knew there were going to be some inappropriate comments made to Pam by the men of the Office (namely, Kevin and Creed). As far as the main storyline of the episode is concerned…

Also, did anyone notice that, on the company hierarchy chart that Dwight has—why he has one is a completely different story—Dwight’s name is just slightly above Jim’s?

EDIT: If you look carefully at the office hierarchy, you’ll see the following (I nearly spit water all over my laptop when I first noticed this):

• Above Dwight’s name are the words “Original Assistant Regional Manager.” Over Jim’s name are the words “Assistant Regional Manager.”
• Creed’s name (Creed Bratton) is in quotes.
• All the females in the office have the female symbol next to their names. Next to Oscar’s name is two male symbols. Next to each female is a moon symbol (quarter moon, half moon, etc.), presumably to indicate their “time” of the month. Phyllis’ and Meredith’s symbols are crossed out, for obvious reasons.
• The members of the Party Planning Committee are indicated in purple.
• Toby’s name has the Star of David next to it. Kevin’s name has a shamrock next to it.
• Next to Andy’s name is a Chess pawn is the image of a college graduate (did nobody else in the office graduate college?). Next to Darryl and Stanley’s names are a symbol that I can’t quite make out, but I presume they are an indication that these two are black. EDIT: Krunk said the image appears to be a fist. A sign of “Black Power,” perhaps?
• Devon (the guy who got fired in Halloween) has his name crossed out.

Speaking of Andy, who didn’t see Dwight doing something with Andy’s car to upset him? I gotta take down a transcript of what Dwight did to persuade Andy to sell his car for cheap, and try that out at a used car dealership

Finally! Someone grew a pair and called Michael out! Too bad it was Stanley; I would have loved to see a partially-drunk Meredith do it instead. Then again, it was awesome to see Stanley finally get more than a couple lines in an episode, and the tension between the two of them was great. It came as a pleasant surprise to me that Michael finally figured out that he was the authority figure of the office, and expected Stanley to treat him with some respect. And I loved the end of the episode, where Phyllis called Michael’s “summer Christmas” plan the worst thing she’s ever heard of, only to have Michael clear the room of everyone but himself and her.

If only I didn’t have to endure Michael butchering the series of jokes in the final talking head segment.

Favorite moments (coming soon…):

• Oscar: “Michael…that doesn’t seem…safe (rolls eyes, as if to remind himself who he’s talking to)”
• Pam: “Yeah…I slept over at a friend’s house, and…I forgot my contact lens solution, so I had to wear my backup glasses. Shut up!” (No comment.)
• Michael: “Pam, those make you look so ugly. In order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You’re moving in the wrong direction.”
• Jim’s second fake proposal. Much funnier than the first one.
• Jim’s one-up on Andy’s idea for a new outgoing voicemail message. That had a bit of Dwight in it.
• Andy: “You meet a lot of ladies driving an Xterra, because…you pull up to a stop light, and look over, and there’s an Xterra next to you, they’re always driven by chicks. So there’s your ice breaker.” OK…
• Michael: “What’s the pink?” Dwight: “Menstrual cycles.” (see above)
• Kevin: “All the girlfriends that I’ve ever had have worn glasses. It’s kinda a turn on for me…like librarians…could you just say ‘These are due back Thursday’?” Creeeeeeeeeeepy…
• Creed: “I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless.” LOL!
• Michael: “I would have never thought that gangs would be tickling each other.”
• Michael: “It’s the only possible solution I have left.” Toby: “Well, you can actually fire him.” Michael: “Ok…I’ve had enough of you.” Poor Toby
• Stanley: “Are you serious?” Michael: “I am serious…we are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack.” I swear I knew Michael was going to screw up this line!
• Michael: “Why don’t they just make the plane out of the airline food?” See above.

- Raise your hand if you were surprised that the B(S)CS rejected a plan to have a four-team playoff to crown an NCAA football champion every year. Apparently, not determining a champion on the field, according to these clowns, is the best way to determine a champion. Using arbitrary computer numbers and “try to be as unbiased as possible” football writers, these clowns would like us to believe, is the best way to determine a champion. According to Big 12 commish Dan Beebe,

“Even though we could construct barriers at this time, we felt like … there could be easily an errosion of that; more pressure to add more teams with an ability to get to the national championship game as we went over time. The system is under a lot of scrutiny that can result in pressure to add games. Our league is not favorable to a playoff system as a whole, and viewed this as the first step in that direction.”

Let me summarize: a four-team, plus-one playoff system would shaft team #5. If the playoffs were expanded to eight, team #9 would get shafted. Also, the B(S)CS would also like us fans to understand that adding additional games adds additional stress onto the students, both physically and academically. However, nobody seems to complain when NCAA basketball players have to spend up to three weeks outside of the classroom. The B(S)CS believes that players already play too many games; I didn’t hear anyone complaining when teams started adding a 12th game to their schedules.

I love this quote:

“We have decided that because we feel at this time the BCS is in an unprecedented state of health, we feel it’s never been healthier during its first decade, we have made a decision to move forward in the next cycle with the current format,” ACC commissioner and BCS coordinator John Swofford said.

By “unprecedented state of health,” these people are referring to their bank accounts, if that wasn’t painfully clear. I say, if we’re going to use an arbitrary system of picking the two teams to play in the National Championship game, we should be allowed to vote American Idol style.

Vote 1-800-BCS-0001 for USC, or text message BCS01 for USC! Standard text messaging rates apply!

American Idol-style voting can’t be any worse than what we currently have, right?

Tags: bcs, bs, did i stutter, hierarchy, office, playoff, review, screenshot by Peter
1 Comment »

Quick-hitters:

- In an effort to do more family-related things, my aunt wanted all of us to hang out and do something “fun” sometime this upcoming weekend.

When my sister and I got back home on Sunday night, I asked her if we were going to take up our aunt’s offer. She said that we were not going back next weekend under any circumstances.

Today, she found out that our four-year-old nephew will be in town this weekend. I guess we’ll be back in MPK sooner than I thought :P.

- I’ve been told that my blog is awfully negative in nature, so here’s something positive to report. On the way from the parking lot to Dodger Stadium, I grabbed my wallet to pull out my ID and credit card—I ordered tickets for Will Call—and I guess I left a $20 in my pocket, because the bill hung out of the pocket, flapping in the wind.

If it weren’t for the woman and girl who yelled “Sir, you have money coming out of your pocket!” I would probably have lost the bill seconds later, possibly into the hands of the guy who yelled “Why did you tell him? I would have caught it!”

- Quick Lakers thought: raise your hand if you thought Kobe wasn’t going to go off in Game 2.

That’s what I thought.

BTW, reports had it that J.R. Smith was unhappy with the way Kobe was taunting Denver, posing his fingers in the shape of a gun and flashing that to TNT analyst Reggie Miller. Apparently J.R. Smith chewed Kobe out for it, and Kobe responded with ” ‘Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard’s gonna fall out,’ ” before responding on the court with a drive right at Smith for a layup-and-one.

First of all, why was J.R. Smith the one chewing Kobe out for his taunting? Where were Carmelo or A.I.? Second, if he was going to chew out Kobe, he had to have expected Kobe to destroy him the next time down the court, right? Third, Kobe had been able to drive through the lane all day! Where was another Nugget to help out on Smith, knowing that Kobe was going right down his throat on the next play?

Why do I see this series going only four games?

- So it was my mom’s birthday this past Tuesday, and I thought we were planning a dinner for the weekend of the 26th. That’s when my older sister told me that my mom demanded that we have her birthday dinner on the weekend before her birthday. This demand came on the 17th, giving us three days max to plan something.

Having none of that, my older sister exclaimed “Lunch. Saturday. Golden Gate (?) buffet.” My other sister and I each made a single phone call, expecting the invitations to osmose down to other family members.

(That’s how we roll.)

The guest list gradually increased, even though several people got their unofficial invites an hour before lunch. The food was pretty average, especially for a Chinese buffet. I started out with the sushi, and that was a huge mistake. The wasabi was about as runny as ketchup.

One item that piqued everyone’s interest was a seafood dish called “Assorted Delicacies on Crab Shell.” Calling something a “delicacy” without naming it is bad enough. “Assorted delicacies,” and you’ve gotta be thinking “cat food.” Now, I’ve never tried cat food before, but that stuff tasted like what cat food would taste like.

They also had cream cheese wontons, which tasted super sweet. Absolutely disgusting. The most popular food that we gorged upon was the Korean BBQ spare ribs, and the meat looked like it was boiled, not grilled.

(Actually, I take that back. The ice cream was the best part of the meal, by far.)

(Tangent: If there’s one thing I love about doing stuff with family, it’s the pop culture discussions we have.

BTW, when I say pop culture, I mean The Office.)

- Tonight’s Office episode was, by a mile, a lot better than last week’s episode. While the main storyline, understandably so, involved Michael’s continued search for a girl, we got to see practically every member of the cast contribute to the episode. From Kelly continuing to harbor hard feelings for Ryan, to drunken (drugged, right? Massive nuclear holocaust? Jungle warfare? Sure, Troy has a drug problem. Right…) Ryan partying at the club, to Toby literally running off to Costa Rica after grabbing Pam’s knee (AWK-WARD…), I laughed nearly every minute. I especially loved how Michael became super-protective of Ryan, especially in the scene at the bar.

I loved how another one of Jim’s bright ideas—staying late so that the crew wouldn’t have to come in on Saturday to fix Ryan’s mess—blew up in his face. Between this, the one birthday party for all, and other events that aren’t coming to me at the moment, clearly the Scranton office needs Michael to run things. By the way, I wonder if the writers are going to develop a story based on the tension between Jim and Ryan; are we supposed to believe that Ryan didn’t mean anything when he said “Watch your back, Jim?” Ryan better watch his back; perhaps the stress of the failing Dunder Mifflin Infinity (two-point-0!) project is weighing on him. Is his job at risk? Is corporate already regretting their decision to hire him?

It was hilarious to watch the rest of the office pile on Jim for not notifying the security guard—(paraphrasing) Eddie, Evan, Hank, Edgar, Elliott…is it Elliott? The guy who sits behind the desk…the African-American guy…!—but what did Pam do to get the scorn of the office as well…well, other than doinking a football off Meredith’s face? Speaking of Meredith, what’s next for her? Is she going to get shot next?

Speaking of Pam, poor Toby! Clearly the guy still has feelings for her. I hope this isn’t the end of the Toby character; if it is, giving him more lines than normal is a nice way to go out. “‘Everyone, let’s get your boss laid Saturday’”? . And how sad is it that Andy and Angela are the favorite couple in the office?

By the way, why the hell does Dwight have the keys to the office, and not Michael’s #2 (Jim)? And did anyone notice that the girl Michael was chatting with kinda looked like Jan as well?

So, Michael’s gotta end up with Jan in the future, right? Why else would he constantly be running into people that look like Jan? Maybe the next time they meet up, she’ll have a face lift as well, not that I’m saying Melora Hardin needs a face lift. And when did Dwight become such a playa?

Favorite moments:

• Did anyone think that Dwight used a bit too much peanut butter to get the gum out of Michael’s hair?
• Michael: “Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an art-y photograph of Cindy Crawford nude…[the persons Michael have dated] just lack a certain Crawford-ness.” (Does it surprise anyone that he couldn’t name a single artist?)
• Ryan: “Yes. I’m having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday to re-enter sales that they made on the phone as sales made by the website, which they should have done in the first place…if the website had been working.” (I love Ryan’s character.)
• Ryan: “Yes. The social networking feature of the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.” LOL! WTF does a paper company need with a social networking site?
• Michael: “It’s not the horniess, ok? It’s the loneliness.” I might have just found a new subtitle for my blog
• Andy: “I am in SERIOUS need of some bro time! Ol’ ball-and-chain has been a lot more chain than ball lately, if you know what I’m saying.” Right in front of Dwight and Angela, no less!
• Michael: “I am going to get laid. Goodbye!” followed by Dwight: “With sex!” HAHAHAHA!
• Andy: “Show of hands. Who thinks we’re a better couple than Jim and Pam?” The cameras should have panned on a grinning Angela.
• Dwight referring to the basketball team as “Amazons” followed by Dwight’s idea of pairing up two girls to a guy to get in to the club (how did Dwight learn all this stuff while running a beet farm?)
• The collective groan of the office when they receive Michael’s cell phone video of Dwight making out.
• Michael: “I’ve asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom…” WTF?
• Jim: “Cleaning people…Oscar! OK…so all you need to do is explain to them what happened because I think they can help us.” Oscar: “Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish?” followed by the exchange between Oscar and the cleaning ladies, ending with Oscar saying “they happen to speak Spanish.” Way to straddle the line of racism, writers :P.
• Michael’s advice for Ryan’s “friend” with the drug problem. I really need to start watching The Wire…I hear it’s great.

Tags: dinner, Dodger Stadium, gasol, good samaritan, jr smith, kobe, lakers, lost money, mom's birthday, night out, office, review by Peter
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