UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog

Raise your hand if you saw all those plot twists coming! Tonight’s episode was awesome, though I’m not sure where I’d rank it compared to the mid-season premiere.  Did anyone notice how almost R-rated the finale was?  Pregnancies, a marriage proposal, a foiled one, a hazing involving the idea that one worker is “special,” fraud, and a mentally scarring make-out scene at the very end?  Was this The Office or Scranton, PA, [zip code of Scranton]?

Jan’s pregnant? And it’s NOT Michael’s? Not that that was much of a surprise; Michael did have THREE vasectomies, no? And how could he have gotten her pregnant while he was sleeping by the foot of her bed?

(Talking about the three vasectomies still hurts, BTW.)

The donor came from a sperm bank? I thought it was Hunter’s baby for sure! And now Michael thinks he’s back with Jan, throwing away a possible relationship with the new HR girl?  Sure, his “relationship” with Holly was completely rushed, but it looked like he was going to wise up, before Kevin’s fateful call.  And what happened to Jan not wanting kids???

Also, raise your hand if you noticed that Holly kinda resembled Jan. Nice job by casting to get a bunch of actresses to look like Jan after their breakup!

Damn Dwight for telling Holly that Kevin is “special,” causing her to treat Kevin the way she did.  I think Kevin enjoyed Holly’s affection a bit too much.  And I loved the way the other office workers acted around Kevin in the presence of Holly, especially Phyllis’ “Kevin, take your shoes off first!” as he runs towards the moon bouncer.  Holly’s treatment of Kevin got exponentially more weird as the episode progressed.

I guess “the temp” will be spending the next few years in prison for fraud. Yeah, like people weren’t going to figure out that he demanded the sales staff to enter their sales twice. Wunderkind, or what-a-dumbass? And who didn’t enjoy the way Jim taunted Ryan? “…you obviously have your hands tied!”  Talk about dropping a bomb!  Ryan had it coming, though. “Congratulations!  Don’t interrupt!  Congratulations on doing your job.”  What an ass!  As the episode progressed, I was thinking that Ryan was going to try to implicate Jim in the fraud, citing the two “threatening” phone calls as some sort of proof of the allegations.

(Actually, that could be a great future storyline. Ryan could eventually come back on the show and accuse Jim of ratting him out. Of course, that depends on how much time Ryan spends in jail.)

Poor Toby! All he got out of his last day was a party, a watch, a few pics with an unhappy Pam, a horrible tribute song (that’s stuck in my head as we speak), and an escort off the office premises by security?

(Tangent: Did anyone notice that the certificate on the wall behind Michael’s desk is a Certificate of Authenticity for a Seyko [sic] watch? So Toby got a FAKE??? LOL!)

Farewell, Toby Flenderson. Be sure to tell Dwight to update his office hierarchy!

(EDIT: I just noticed that Toby’s “new” watch went off right as he left the office for the last time, just as how Michael set it. Nice attention to detail!)

As for you “Jam” lovers (that’s Jim-Pam, for you non-”shippers” out there, not that I am one), you must have hated the finale. I’m pretty sure you guys were screaming “F**K YOU ANDY!” when Andy stole Jim’s thunder with his own marriage proposal. My sister nearly threw something at my TV when that happened.   What is next to happen in Jim’s relationship with Pam?

(What really stinks about the whole ordeal is that Pam has no idea that it was Jim that put up the money for the entire party!  Yeah, I know…typical guy response…worried about the money :P)

Throughout the episode, I was almost sure that Jim was going to quit his job. From the first phone call to Ryan, to the huge amount of money he spent for the party (I didn’t know you could get a same-day Ferris wheel rental :P), I thought he was gone for sure, whether or not Pam accepted the marriage proposal. Then again, what would the show be without him? And did you see the look on Pam’s face during her last talking head? Then again, could you blame Jim for not proposing after what Andy did? What’s going to happen when (if?) Pam enrolls at the art academy?

During that talking head, did Pam mention starting a family with Jim? How far their relationship advanced in a year’s time!

And Dwight and Angela making out in the darkness of the office? ZE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! And Phyllis was the one to discover this?

Overall, I loved tonight’s episode, especially because of all the potential story lines that this episode set up for next season. By next season, Jan should either be close to giving birth, or would already have had the baby. Pam might already have started her art career, unless she decides against it for some reason. Andy could be in the midst of wedding planning. Maybe Toby will have second thoughts of leaving his position. Maybe Ryan will plea bargain his way out of prison. And what’s going to happen with Jim and Pam?

Most importantly, what the hell am I going to do between now and next season?

Favorite moments:

• Who didn’t enjoy watching Jim screw around with Dwight’s phone? As if the writers weren’t going to give us one interaction between these two in the finale. “Hang that up right now”? Dwight had the phone in his hand. Why didn’t HE hang up? If you’re keeping score at home, that’s now two phones that Dwight has destroyed. (EDIT: I didn’t notice it the first time, but apparently the phone rang again while he was trying to destroy it! HAHA!)

(Tangent: I’ve dealt with five or six different Bluetooth headsets in the past, and I don’t recall EVER getting good sound quality from any more than three feet away from the phone itself. Yet Jim was able to speak to two different people just fine? Amazing!)

• Michael’s shoe money. I don’t even want to imagine how long that money’s been sitting there.
• Pam: “…So the timing’s perfect. And THAT is the first time I’ve ever used the word ‘perfect’ in here!”
• Holly: “What do you do here?” followed by Creed’s talking head. “Qua-something…[qua-sounding junk]…”
• Toby:  (screaming at the top of his lungs) “DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA HERE?”  Something tells me he ran off to the nearest Staples to buy a digital camera.
• Jim explaining that all his firsts with Pam occurred at the office.  How pathetic!  Then again, that makes his attempted proposal to Pam at the party even more fitting.
• Kevin:  “I am totally going to bang Holly!”  Did that come out of right field or what?
• Jim finally growing a pair and chewing out Ryan.  Too bad that Ryan probably never got the message.
• That entire exit interview was awesome, in a truly awkward sense.  I would have loved to see Toby throw the rock through the window.
• Yes, Hank, I thought Kelly’s talking head about visiting Ryan in jail was damn funny.  I’m coming around!
• How did Michael resist the temptation to say “That’s what she said!”???
• Michael getting flustered after Holly touched him, followed by the talking head.  Jan didn’t show affection?  Well, I suppose sex != affection.
• Pam:  “Don’t tell him [Toby] I said this, but I always thought he was kinda cute.”  Wait until that gets back to Toby.
• Michael:  “Are you nauseous?  Do you have cravings?  You never touched by Propecia…?”
• Michael:  “You cheated on me?  When I specifically asked you not to?”
• Holly:  “Andy proposed to one of your accountants…”  Michael:  “Well, I can see Andy proposing to Angela.  I can also see him proposing to Oscar.”  How did I know that was coming?

One final thought: now that Toby has (seemingly) been written off the show, and it seems that Ryan won’t be around (for at least a good while), does this mean that B.J. Novak and Paul Liberstein are no longer going to write/produce on the show? And if they do, wouldn’t it be kinda weird to see their names in the credits, even though their characters are gone?

Tags: goodbye, review, season finale, The Office, toby by Peter
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No quick-hitters, as I still have a headache. Let’s get to it:

- Tonight’s Office started out pretty slowly, but when it got going, it really got going! Tonight, we got the prototypical “storyline” episode; tonight’s episode wasn’t over-the-top funny, but it served its purpose to further a number of existing storylines, and may possibly lay the framework for future episodes. Look what we discovered from tonight’s episode alone!

(BTW, I loved the whole opening scene. Would it have been too rated-R for someone to suggest that Michael put an impression of something else into the cement? Why did Oscar waste his time trying to convince Michael that an impression of his face didn’t seem safe?) And why didn’t Michael’s head get kinda stuck in the cement? That would have been hilarious, in a morbid way…

We know Ryan has issues with Jim for Jim’s interaction with David Wallace, and now we know that Toby hates Jim for his relationship with Pam. Is Jim’s job possibly at risk? Perhaps Jim will be demoted, and Dwight will be promoted to the real #2 and not the #2 in his mind only. Or perhaps Jim will get fed up with the negativity towards him, and he has to choose between keeping his position with the company and staying close to his girlfriend. We’ve got Dwight already against Jim, and now Ryan and Toby…Andy, logically, has to be next to attack Jim, right, perhaps with a little prodding from Angela?

By the way, Toby, what happened to going to Costa Rica? Couldn’t afford the plane ticket? And Pam’s blind as a bat sans corrective lenses, eh? You just knew there were going to be some inappropriate comments made to Pam by the men of the Office (namely, Kevin and Creed). As far as the main storyline of the episode is concerned…

Also, did anyone notice that, on the company hierarchy chart that Dwight has—why he has one is a completely different story—Dwight’s name is just slightly above Jim’s?

EDIT: If you look carefully at the office hierarchy, you’ll see the following (I nearly spit water all over my laptop when I first noticed this):

• Above Dwight’s name are the words “Original Assistant Regional Manager.” Over Jim’s name are the words “Assistant Regional Manager.”
• Creed’s name (Creed Bratton) is in quotes.
• All the females in the office have the female symbol next to their names. Next to Oscar’s name is two male symbols. Next to each female is a moon symbol (quarter moon, half moon, etc.), presumably to indicate their “time” of the month. Phyllis’ and Meredith’s symbols are crossed out, for obvious reasons.
• The members of the Party Planning Committee are indicated in purple.
• Toby’s name has the Star of David next to it. Kevin’s name has a shamrock next to it.
• Next to Andy’s name is a Chess pawn is the image of a college graduate (did nobody else in the office graduate college?). Next to Darryl and Stanley’s names are a symbol that I can’t quite make out, but I presume they are an indication that these two are black. EDIT: Krunk said the image appears to be a fist. A sign of “Black Power,” perhaps?
• Devon (the guy who got fired in Halloween) has his name crossed out.

Speaking of Andy, who didn’t see Dwight doing something with Andy’s car to upset him? I gotta take down a transcript of what Dwight did to persuade Andy to sell his car for cheap, and try that out at a used car dealership

Finally! Someone grew a pair and called Michael out! Too bad it was Stanley; I would have loved to see a partially-drunk Meredith do it instead. Then again, it was awesome to see Stanley finally get more than a couple lines in an episode, and the tension between the two of them was great. It came as a pleasant surprise to me that Michael finally figured out that he was the authority figure of the office, and expected Stanley to treat him with some respect. And I loved the end of the episode, where Phyllis called Michael’s “summer Christmas” plan the worst thing she’s ever heard of, only to have Michael clear the room of everyone but himself and her.

If only I didn’t have to endure Michael butchering the series of jokes in the final talking head segment.

Favorite moments (coming soon…):

• Oscar: “Michael…that doesn’t seem…safe (rolls eyes, as if to remind himself who he’s talking to)”
• Pam: “Yeah…I slept over at a friend’s house, and…I forgot my contact lens solution, so I had to wear my backup glasses. Shut up!” (No comment.)
• Michael: “Pam, those make you look so ugly. In order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You’re moving in the wrong direction.”
• Jim’s second fake proposal. Much funnier than the first one.
• Jim’s one-up on Andy’s idea for a new outgoing voicemail message. That had a bit of Dwight in it.
• Andy: “You meet a lot of ladies driving an Xterra, because…you pull up to a stop light, and look over, and there’s an Xterra next to you, they’re always driven by chicks. So there’s your ice breaker.” OK…
• Michael: “What’s the pink?” Dwight: “Menstrual cycles.” (see above)
• Kevin: “All the girlfriends that I’ve ever had have worn glasses. It’s kinda a turn on for me…like librarians…could you just say ‘These are due back Thursday’?” Creeeeeeeeeeepy…
• Creed: “I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless.” LOL!
• Michael: “I would have never thought that gangs would be tickling each other.”
• Michael: “It’s the only possible solution I have left.” Toby: “Well, you can actually fire him.” Michael: “Ok…I’ve had enough of you.” Poor Toby
• Stanley: “Are you serious?” Michael: “I am serious…we are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack.” I swear I knew Michael was going to screw up this line!
• Michael: “Why don’t they just make the plane out of the airline food?” See above.

- Raise your hand if you were surprised that the B(S)CS rejected a plan to have a four-team playoff to crown an NCAA football champion every year. Apparently, not determining a champion on the field, according to these clowns, is the best way to determine a champion. Using arbitrary computer numbers and “try to be as unbiased as possible” football writers, these clowns would like us to believe, is the best way to determine a champion. According to Big 12 commish Dan Beebe,

“Even though we could construct barriers at this time, we felt like … there could be easily an errosion of that; more pressure to add more teams with an ability to get to the national championship game as we went over time. The system is under a lot of scrutiny that can result in pressure to add games. Our league is not favorable to a playoff system as a whole, and viewed this as the first step in that direction.”

Let me summarize: a four-team, plus-one playoff system would shaft team #5. If the playoffs were expanded to eight, team #9 would get shafted. Also, the B(S)CS would also like us fans to understand that adding additional games adds additional stress onto the students, both physically and academically. However, nobody seems to complain when NCAA basketball players have to spend up to three weeks outside of the classroom. The B(S)CS believes that players already play too many games; I didn’t hear anyone complaining when teams started adding a 12th game to their schedules.

I love this quote:

“We have decided that because we feel at this time the BCS is in an unprecedented state of health, we feel it’s never been healthier during its first decade, we have made a decision to move forward in the next cycle with the current format,” ACC commissioner and BCS coordinator John Swofford said.

By “unprecedented state of health,” these people are referring to their bank accounts, if that wasn’t painfully clear. I say, if we’re going to use an arbitrary system of picking the two teams to play in the National Championship game, we should be allowed to vote American Idol style.

Vote 1-800-BCS-0001 for USC, or text message BCS01 for USC! Standard text messaging rates apply!

American Idol-style voting can’t be any worse than what we currently have, right?

Tags: bcs, bs, did i stutter, hierarchy, office, playoff, review, screenshot by Peter
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Quick-hitters:

- In an effort to do more family-related things, my aunt wanted all of us to hang out and do something “fun” sometime this upcoming weekend.

When my sister and I got back home on Sunday night, I asked her if we were going to take up our aunt’s offer. She said that we were not going back next weekend under any circumstances.

Today, she found out that our four-year-old nephew will be in town this weekend. I guess we’ll be back in MPK sooner than I thought :P.

- I’ve been told that my blog is awfully negative in nature, so here’s something positive to report. On the way from the parking lot to Dodger Stadium, I grabbed my wallet to pull out my ID and credit card—I ordered tickets for Will Call—and I guess I left a $20 in my pocket, because the bill hung out of the pocket, flapping in the wind.

If it weren’t for the woman and girl who yelled “Sir, you have money coming out of your pocket!” I would probably have lost the bill seconds later, possibly into the hands of the guy who yelled “Why did you tell him? I would have caught it!”

- Quick Lakers thought: raise your hand if you thought Kobe wasn’t going to go off in Game 2.

That’s what I thought.

BTW, reports had it that J.R. Smith was unhappy with the way Kobe was taunting Denver, posing his fingers in the shape of a gun and flashing that to TNT analyst Reggie Miller. Apparently J.R. Smith chewed Kobe out for it, and Kobe responded with ” ‘Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard’s gonna fall out,’ ” before responding on the court with a drive right at Smith for a layup-and-one.

First of all, why was J.R. Smith the one chewing Kobe out for his taunting? Where were Carmelo or A.I.? Second, if he was going to chew out Kobe, he had to have expected Kobe to destroy him the next time down the court, right? Third, Kobe had been able to drive through the lane all day! Where was another Nugget to help out on Smith, knowing that Kobe was going right down his throat on the next play?

Why do I see this series going only four games?

- So it was my mom’s birthday this past Tuesday, and I thought we were planning a dinner for the weekend of the 26th. That’s when my older sister told me that my mom demanded that we have her birthday dinner on the weekend before her birthday. This demand came on the 17th, giving us three days max to plan something.

Having none of that, my older sister exclaimed “Lunch. Saturday. Golden Gate (?) buffet.” My other sister and I each made a single phone call, expecting the invitations to osmose down to other family members.

(That’s how we roll.)

The guest list gradually increased, even though several people got their unofficial invites an hour before lunch. The food was pretty average, especially for a Chinese buffet. I started out with the sushi, and that was a huge mistake. The wasabi was about as runny as ketchup.

One item that piqued everyone’s interest was a seafood dish called “Assorted Delicacies on Crab Shell.” Calling something a “delicacy” without naming it is bad enough. “Assorted delicacies,” and you’ve gotta be thinking “cat food.” Now, I’ve never tried cat food before, but that stuff tasted like what cat food would taste like.

They also had cream cheese wontons, which tasted super sweet. Absolutely disgusting. The most popular food that we gorged upon was the Korean BBQ spare ribs, and the meat looked like it was boiled, not grilled.

(Actually, I take that back. The ice cream was the best part of the meal, by far.)

(Tangent: If there’s one thing I love about doing stuff with family, it’s the pop culture discussions we have.

BTW, when I say pop culture, I mean The Office.)

- Tonight’s Office episode was, by a mile, a lot better than last week’s episode. While the main storyline, understandably so, involved Michael’s continued search for a girl, we got to see practically every member of the cast contribute to the episode. From Kelly continuing to harbor hard feelings for Ryan, to drunken (drugged, right? Massive nuclear holocaust? Jungle warfare? Sure, Troy has a drug problem. Right…) Ryan partying at the club, to Toby literally running off to Costa Rica after grabbing Pam’s knee (AWK-WARD…), I laughed nearly every minute. I especially loved how Michael became super-protective of Ryan, especially in the scene at the bar.

I loved how another one of Jim’s bright ideas—staying late so that the crew wouldn’t have to come in on Saturday to fix Ryan’s mess—blew up in his face. Between this, the one birthday party for all, and other events that aren’t coming to me at the moment, clearly the Scranton office needs Michael to run things. By the way, I wonder if the writers are going to develop a story based on the tension between Jim and Ryan; are we supposed to believe that Ryan didn’t mean anything when he said “Watch your back, Jim?” Ryan better watch his back; perhaps the stress of the failing Dunder Mifflin Infinity (two-point-0!) project is weighing on him. Is his job at risk? Is corporate already regretting their decision to hire him?

It was hilarious to watch the rest of the office pile on Jim for not notifying the security guard—(paraphrasing) Eddie, Evan, Hank, Edgar, Elliott…is it Elliott? The guy who sits behind the desk…the African-American guy…!—but what did Pam do to get the scorn of the office as well…well, other than doinking a football off Meredith’s face? Speaking of Meredith, what’s next for her? Is she going to get shot next?

Speaking of Pam, poor Toby! Clearly the guy still has feelings for her. I hope this isn’t the end of the Toby character; if it is, giving him more lines than normal is a nice way to go out. “‘Everyone, let’s get your boss laid Saturday’”? . And how sad is it that Andy and Angela are the favorite couple in the office?

By the way, why the hell does Dwight have the keys to the office, and not Michael’s #2 (Jim)? And did anyone notice that the girl Michael was chatting with kinda looked like Jan as well?

So, Michael’s gotta end up with Jan in the future, right? Why else would he constantly be running into people that look like Jan? Maybe the next time they meet up, she’ll have a face lift as well, not that I’m saying Melora Hardin needs a face lift. And when did Dwight become such a playa?

Favorite moments:

• Did anyone think that Dwight used a bit too much peanut butter to get the gum out of Michael’s hair?
• Michael: “Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an art-y photograph of Cindy Crawford nude…[the persons Michael have dated] just lack a certain Crawford-ness.” (Does it surprise anyone that he couldn’t name a single artist?)
• Ryan: “Yes. I’m having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday to re-enter sales that they made on the phone as sales made by the website, which they should have done in the first place…if the website had been working.” (I love Ryan’s character.)
• Ryan: “Yes. The social networking feature of the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.” LOL! WTF does a paper company need with a social networking site?
• Michael: “It’s not the horniess, ok? It’s the loneliness.” I might have just found a new subtitle for my blog
• Andy: “I am in SERIOUS need of some bro time! Ol’ ball-and-chain has been a lot more chain than ball lately, if you know what I’m saying.” Right in front of Dwight and Angela, no less!
• Michael: “I am going to get laid. Goodbye!” followed by Dwight: “With sex!” HAHAHAHA!
• Andy: “Show of hands. Who thinks we’re a better couple than Jim and Pam?” The cameras should have panned on a grinning Angela.
• Dwight referring to the basketball team as “Amazons” followed by Dwight’s idea of pairing up two girls to a guy to get in to the club (how did Dwight learn all this stuff while running a beet farm?)
• The collective groan of the office when they receive Michael’s cell phone video of Dwight making out.
• Michael: “I’ve asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom…” WTF?
• Jim: “Cleaning people…Oscar! OK…so all you need to do is explain to them what happened because I think they can help us.” Oscar: “Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish?” followed by the exchange between Oscar and the cleaning ladies, ending with Oscar saying “they happen to speak Spanish.” Way to straddle the line of racism, writers :P.
• Michael’s advice for Ryan’s “friend” with the drug problem. I really need to start watching The Wire…I hear it’s great.

Tags: dinner, Dodger Stadium, gasol, good samaritan, jr smith, kobe, lakers, lost money, mom's birthday, night out, office, review by Peter
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