Joe Torre to LA?, Tons of Stupid Points, And UBMe #3 (”Shopping Cart Obstructions”)
Hello again, loyal readers!
Quick-hitters:
- Current rebate-o-meter: $3000, and dropping fast!
(W00t!)
- Why must oatmeal raisin cookies be so damn tasty??? I baked a batch last Thursday, and thanks to myself, my sister, her co-workers, my mom, etc., I’m down to five cookies.
(Four.)
Next up: a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I’ll put the over/under on how long those cookies will last at three days, and I’ll take the under.
- Trader Joe’s is evil. Costco is evil.
Going to both stores? Wallet homicide.
(I dare anyone to convince me otherwise.)
- OMG! The NBA season starts tomorrow, and I haven’t even signed up for a Fantasy Basketball league!
- So the big news story, which I just heard about a few minutes ago, is the report that the Los Angeles Dodgers (actually of LA!) are going to fire incumbent manager Grady Little and hire former Yankees’ manager Joe Torre!
THIS. MUST. HAPPEN.
Yes, Grady Little got a bum rap for the 2003 Boston Red Sox debacle. Yeah, he’s probably going to be unfairly fired for what happened last year with my Dodgers (the locker room fracturing, I mean). Still, it’s awfully hard to trade in Little for a four-time World Series-winning manager. I’m really looking forward to see who the Dodgers will end up signing, now that Torre appears to be on board?
(No, I’m not going to be myopic enough to believe that Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, et al., will be donning Dodger Blue next year.)
Great statistic mentioned by SportsCenter, by the way: in 2003, Grady Little was fired by Boston; the Red Sox won the World Series the next year. In 1996, Joe Torre was hired by New York; the Yankees won the World Series the next year. Hmmmm…
me *crosses fingers*
- Speaking of fingers…I was filing some rebates about a week ago.
(I’m usually quick when it comes to filing rebates; it helps to use pre-printed address labels.)
(By the way, the squeamish might want to stop reading here.)
Anyway, I was attempting to flatten one tri-folded rebate submission, getting ready to stuff it into an envelope. I ran my hand across the stack, and proceeded to flatten the submission (five 24# sheets of paper are pretty thick!). That’s when I noticed that my hand had quite a bit of blood on it.
Yeah, somehow, while flattening the rebate submission, I had managed to slice my pinky like a Ginzu knife through a tin can. I shook it off immediately, telling myself “eh, just another paper cut.” Ten seconds later, I was screaming and running towards the nearest sink.
I give myself 25,000 Stupid Points.
- It’s time for UBMe #3, aka “Shopping Cart Obstructions.”
While in line at Costco, you realize that you forgot an item on your shopping list! Knowing that the item–no, it was not Mexicoke–was located at the back of the store, you realize that nothing short of a power walk would get you to the back to the registers in time. You proceed to semi-jog to the back of the store, and realize that there are way too many people there for you to be jogging. You slow to a brisk walk, reach the refrigerated section, grab your item, and head back.
Like a running back in football, you keep trying to hit holes between shopping carts and their owners, trying desperately to get to the front of the store as quickly as possible. Halfway on the return trip, you hit a snag: you reach a section where nobody is moving! Out of the corner of your eye, you quickly notice a small gap opening, so you beeline towards it. That’s when some stupid woman pushes her cart through that gap, beating you to the spot. As if that isn’t bad enough, she then proceeds to leave her cart right there in the open, walking away to go check out some items an aisle away!
UBMe! Do you gently push her cart aside, and continue on your way to the front of the store? Do you patiently wait for another opening (which was unlikely, as the obstruction occurred in front of a smoothie display, and there was a big line of people waiting for samples)? Or do you do something more drastic, like walking across an aisle to get to the much less crowded perimeter of the store?
You decide to gently push her cart out of the way. You reach out, and a split second before you come in contact with her cart, you notice some guy coming in the opposite direction with his cart. You immediately realize that he is approaching you with a good deal of speed, and you know something is going to happen. With his cart, he literally swings his cart into hers, hitting the blockade with such force that the offending carts rolls away about 5-10 feet. Eventually, the cart coasts to a stop in front of a display of pillows, as the guy continues through the newly-opened gap. You turn around, and see the woman head back towards her cart, clearly pissed off! You grin in the direction of the guy who cleared your way, and continue towards front of the store.
You reach the registers, just as the cashier starts ringing up your order.
Seriously, that was awesome. The look on the woman’s face was priceless!
Until next time!