Entries Tagged as 'costco'

Costco/CVS Run, And My Week Two Fantasy Football Updates

Quick blog entry tonight…my head hurts.

- I had a roto chicken/cheese danish/assorted junk food-in-bulk craving, so we ran off to Costco. We also swung by CVS, where I could only score some FAECB Excedrin medicine.

The Excedrin medicine has caffeine in it, though! Oh well, it might make an interesting pairing with my Advil P.M. pills :P

At Costco, over in the baked foods section, I was looking for a box of cheese danishes, when I noticed what looked like a new offering. It turns out, though, that Costco now offers their cheese danishes in a six-pack, round metal tray, called a “Danish Pull Apart.”

Pretty cool, I suppose, although it would be cooler if the six-pack of danishes didn’t cost only a buck less—$4.99 versus $5.99—than the original nine-pack.

Even freaking Costco is not immune from the Consumerist-dubbed “Grocery Shrink Ray!” NOOOOOOOOOOO…

(Speaking of higher costs, do you want a sure sign of the apocalypse? Two weeks ago, I swung by one of those Glacier Water machines, stuck five quarters into the coin slot, hit the “5 Gallons” button, and wondered why nothing was coming out of the spout. I took a closer look at the machine, and saw that a gallon was now thirty cents!

Thirty cents??? Back in the early 90s, when I would go, with my dad, to fill up several of those five-gallon bottles, one gallon of filtered water was twenty cents. A few years back, it went up to twenty-five cents, and now thirty? OMFG!!!

And please save your inflation/cost of materials/etc. arguments :P)

I also couldn’t resist a tub of seafood dip, some frozen pizzas, my rotisserie chicken, and a few other necessities (honest!).

Note to self: NEVER, EVER, go back to the Costco on Sepulveda Blvd.!

- Fantasy football updates:

1) No thanks to Carson Palmer (three points), Roy Williams (four points), and no Dallas Clark (1 pt from L.J. Smith of Philly), I am now 0-2 in one league, and DEAD FREAKING LAST (and it’s not even close).

2) No thanks to the aforementioned Roy Williams, as well as Jerricho Cotchery (two points), an injured Justin Fargas (four points), and my opponent having Kurt Warner (26), Greg Jennings (16), and Clinton Portis (21), I’m now 1-1 in this league.

3) My sister joined a Yahoo! League as well, and even though her team is terrible, she’s 1-1.  It helps to face a team with Tom Brady and a still-suspended Steve Smith…

4) Boy am I glad I did not draft Joseph Addai!

Too bad I (auto) drafted Steven Jackson.  Sigh…

That’s it for today.

A Brutal RiteAid/CVS/Costco Trip, And Now How Bad Does Diva Favre Look?

Quick-hitters:

- 92/101F today, and fortunately, only 27% humidity.  A few days ago, it was only 95F with about 45% humidity.

If it ever hits 100F with 45% humidity, you won’t see any new blogs on this site for a while :P

- The Olympics opening ceremonies start in two days!

Yawn.

- Tomorrow, I will be attending Eddie Izzard’s new show, Stripped, at the Kodak Theatre!

One might say that I’m so excited, I cannot hide it.

Since his first stage appearance on London’s West End in 1993 in the one-man show “Live at the Ambassadors”, there’s been a succession of sell-out and critically acclaimed International tours including “Glorious” in 1997, “Dress to Kill” in 1998, “Circle” in 2000 and the record breaking “Sexie” in 2003. Now Eddie’s “Stripped” and he’s coming to you.

I have five of his shows on DVD—everything from “Unrepeatable” to “Circle”—though I’ve only seen “Glorious,” “Dress to Kill,” and “Circle.”  I plan on doing a marathon session of Eddie Izzard tonight through tomorrow morning…sleep is overrated, right?

- Current rebate-o-meter:  $1,020 and still falling.

(Speaking of which, I have about $200 in rebates that must be filed in the next couple of days.  Oops!)

- Yesterday, we went errand-running at the usual hotspots.  The first stop was RiteAid, where, as expected, I missed out on all the good FA(SC)R deals.  I was only able to score some cheap body wash and bug spray for ~ $2 after coupons and rebates.  Meh.

Next stop:  CVS.  Unfortunately for me, I had run out of ECBs, so this entire trip was going to be paid for with…CASH!!!

(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!)

My sister, on the other hand, at least had a single $2 ECB.

(Don’t ask me how we used up all our ECBs.  The story is too painful to retell.)

Needing to reload on ECBs, my sister and I each bought three FAECB items—Tums, Excedrin, and Extreme Energy shots—and she bought a couple packs of lip balm.

My total:  $18 (ouch!).  Her total:  $23 (WTF).  We both went into cardiac arrest after paying what we owed.

Finally, we stopped by Costco, where we were certain we were only going to buy a “few” things.  Clearly we were delirious at the time, probably from the CVS fiasco.  We got our usual fare—romaine lettuce, cucumbers, some snacks, and a rotisserie chicken for dinner—and we couldn’t resist another box of pluots, which were marked down to $5 for 15!  My sister also had to buy a bottle of wine for a get-together this weekend, and I couldn’t resist a tub of seafood salad (which I totally regret buying now; I didn’t expect it to be sweet!).  We also bought a bag of frozen breaded chicken tenderloins, which was priced at $12.99; I could’ve sworn that this stuff costs $15+.

Total bill:  $70 or so.  With the wine purchase, that bill was pretty reasonable.  Try convincing my sister of that, though :P.

- So I know I said I was done with the whole Diva Favre situation.  I know I said that the whole saga was probably coming to an end.

Double play.

Hey Diva, what happened to you wanting to come back to play for the Packers?

Favre seemed resigned to a future elsewhere, telling ESPN’s Chris Mortensen on Tuesday morning that the “best thing for this team is for us to part ways.” (source)

And you Favre myopians still insist on rooting for the guy?

“They told him, ‘We’ll trade you, but not within the division,’” Favre’s agent, James “Bus” Cook, told USA Today for Wednesday’s editions. “His first desire was to play here. Their first desire was for him not to play here.”

I believe the Diva’s first desire was to screw over the entire Packers’ organization.  Something tells me he had no intention on wanting to come back.

Favre told Mortensen he doesn’t have a problem with competing with Aaron Rodgers for the starting job, and can “truly understand” why McCarthy would make Rodgers the starter. But Favre also said a competition “probably isn’t going to work” and that “the problem is that there’s been a lot of damage done and I can’t forget it.”

What a bunch of baloney.  This guy has sh!t all over Aaron Rodgers, from the day Rodgers was drafted!  Does anyone recall the day Favre said that (to paraphrase) that he was not responsible for grooming Rodgers?  And why wouldn’t a competition work?  You’re the better quarterback!  Take the job away from Rodgers, and put the final nail in his Green Bay coffin!

And as far as “damage,” I’m sure the Diva thinks he’s done little wrong.

And now I just heard on my TV that Favre is not exactly keen on a trade to Tampa Bay.  WTF?  I’ve said this several times before, and I’ll say it again:  YOU ARE NOT THE GENERAL MANAGER!  YOU DO NOT GET TO DICTATE WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO BE TRADED!!!

Please, please, please, trade Favre to the Jets!  I would pay to see the New England Patriots pummel Favre into the ground twice a year.  Hell, I’ll turn into a Pats’ fan for those two games if a deal to the Jets happens!  I will cheer on the Pats’ D to score 4-5 Pick-Sixes (INT returns for TD), even if I’m playing in a fantasy league where my opponent has the Pats’ DST!

(Did I REALLY just say all that?  Do you see how much I cannot stand this story?)

Two parting thoughts:

“The football team’s moving forward,” McCarthy said. “The train has left the station, whatever analogy you want. He needs to jump on the train and let’s go. Or, if we can’t get past things that have happened, I have to keep the train moving.”

My sister responded to this with:  “McCarthy can conduct the train, as long as Favre is tied to the tracks.”  Yikes!

Finally, Yahoo! Sports’ columnist Michael Silver is now my new favorite columnist.  Finally, someone who isn’t in love with Favre, telling it exactly like it is!

Costco is Still Evil, Carl’s Jr. Prime Rib Six Dollar Burger, And Dodgers-Angels Weekend Hijinks

Nope. No quick-hitters tonight.

- It probably has something to do with the Fourth of July weekend coming up, or it might just have been a slightly atypical Sunday afternoon crowd, or it might have been because we went to a different Costco than the one we usually go to—Northridge—but boy was Costco packed today!

So what does a packed Costco mean? Stupid kids running around, coming nano-millimeters from hitting your cart with their faces, idiot adults constantly blocking aisles with themselves or their shopping carts (remember this?), and the huddled masses blitzing from free sample to free sample.

What was really strange, though, was the fact that our wait that the checkout line was pretty damn short. Either Costco had every register working (I wasn’t paying attention), or everyone was just taking their sweet time shopping while we quickly grabbed what we wanted.

As for the assault to my wallet, I bought some cheese danishes, trail mix, and yogurt. I’ll set the over/under on how long it’ll take me and my sister to finish all three at two weeks.

(Don’t be a fool and take the over :P)

- So I sampled the new Carl’s Jr. Prime Rib Six Dollar Burger on Saturday.

(Those commercials made the sandwich look really tasty!)

I can sum up the review of the burger in two words: IT SUCKED. You know a burger sucks when the best part of it is the (Ciabatta) bun.

(OK, that’s not fair. The meat patty was typical Six Dollar Burger good.)

The three or so pieces of Prime rib that found its way on top of my burger made dirt-cheap Vegas buffet Prime rib taste awesome by comparison. Honestly, I couldn’t tell what was Prime rib, and what was grilled onion. And don’t get me started on the horseradish sauce; it was so sweet, I thought they topped my burger with yogurt! Not to mention, the sauce had as much of a kick as shrimp cocktail sauce.

The worst thing was, the combo costs $8 here in the valley! Can I do a chargeback, on the basis that the item was significantly not as described? :P

- So let me get this straight. The Los Angeles Dodgers Actually in Los Angeles got five three hits on Sunday and lost, but they got zero hits on Saturday, and won? How crazy is that?

After the seventh inning, I was rooting for the Dodgers to go hitless the rest of the way, just to see history happen. Needless to say, I was elated when Dodgers’ closer Takashi Saito finally got the last out.

(I will neither confirm nor deny that the fact that the Los Angeles Angels Outside of Los Angeles were on the wrong end of history didn’t make the moment a bit sweeter).

By the way, just as I will never call the Anaheim Angels that ridiculous moniker that they choose to go by, I will not call the Angels’ performance anything other than what it should be: a no-hitter. I don’t care what the rule book says; the Angels held the Dodgers hitless for an entire game, and that should be counted as a no-hitter. I couldn’t agree more with what MSNBC’s Mike Celizic wrote:

A pitcher throws a six-inning shutout and gets the win when rain ends the game, he gets a shut-out. If a batter is working on a hitting streak and loses it in a five-inning, rain-shortened game, baseball doesn’t say that doesn’t count because he should have had two more at-bats. So, why this silly rule about no-hitters? Why is a six-inning, rain-shortened game a complete game for everyone else but not for the guy who throws a no-hitter?

And for the record, Scioscia made the right call in pulling Weaver in the top of the seventh. He had to find a way to manufacture a run! Also, I completely disagree with the official scorer on the booted ball by Weaver that led to the Dodgers’ only run. That has to be ruled a base hit; it was much too bang-bang for it to be called an error.

Until next time!

Shopping, Shopping, Food, And Food, And Why the Lakers Might Win In Seven

Long post today, so let’s get right to it.

- I decided that it was time to update my wardrobe (read: buy new clothes). On Saturday, armed with a pair of coupons—30% off at Foot Locker and 20% off at Macy’s—my sister and I went to Westfield Fashion Square in Sherman Oaks.

After a quick browse through Macy’s, our first stop was Foot Locker. After about five minutes of browsing, and thirty seconds of trying out one pair of shoes, I decided on the Nike Air Max Tailwind 2008. I just loved how the shoes looked, and the fact that they were comfortable as hell was all the convincing I needed. I wasn’t really looking for a pair of running shoes; I really wanted just a pair of cross-trainers or something similar.

The re-visit to Macy’s was fruitless, so on Sunday, we swung by Ross. Normally, Ross has quite a few sections for me to browse through, so much so that I get sick and tired of looking after several racks’ worth of clothes, and just give up. The Ross I visited, however, had only one small section of athletic shirts, so I was able to finish shopping in a few minutes. I scored a couple Reebok PlayDry shirts, as well as a really ugly (but really nice!) T for $4.

We had to go on a food run, so we went to 99 Ranch, Costco, and JONS Supermarket for a ton of food. I had a hankering for some salsa—it might have been influenced by Cinco de Mayo—so I mixed up a quick tomato salsa (chopped tomatoes, chopped onion, chopped cilantro, chopped roasted Jalapeño peppers, fresh lime juice, and Pico de Gallo seasoning).

While at Costco, I couldn’t resist one of their take-n-bake pizzas; I forget what it’s called, but it has fresh tomato, basil, and globs of mozzarella cheese on it. That was seriously the best take-n-bake pizza I’ve ever had.

Sunday night, I decided to bake some chicken coated with seasoned flour (AP flour, kosher salt, and some Mrs. Dash). After 50 minutes in a 400 degree oven, the chicken came out super-juicy, although the skin was a bit bland. I should probably have coated the chicken in egg first, before applying the flour, but I was lazy :P.

I also bought some frozen Buffalo Wings from Costco; that will probably be my dinner, along with the leftover pizza. Damn…now I’m super hungry again.

- So after watching the MVP do what MVPs do, I gotta say that the Lakers are in serious trouble despite pulling out a Game 1 victory. Certainly the rest helped, coupled with the fact that the Jazz played two tough playoff games in 48 hours, but clearly there was some rust to knock off as well.

At least, Laker fans better hope it was rust, and not a thorough domination by the Jazz on the offensive glass. Twenty-five offensive rebounds??? Plus-seventeen in total rebounds? Was that Memhet Okur or a in-his-prime Dennis Rodman crashing the glass? With Games 3 and 4—and the Jazz’s 37-4 home record—looming, the Lakers better shore up the defensive glass, or the series could easily end in six games.

It’s a good thing that the Lakers have the MVP, who apparently owns an annual pass to the free throw line. I’m actually surprised that Kobe missed two freebies! Anyway, the Lakers better hope for better rebounding, better shot selection, and more solid defense on Utah’s two stars. I have a feeling that Deron Williams will not shoot 5-for-18 in Game 2, and Boozer likely will not commit seven turnovers again.

Something tells me that Utah will pull out Game 2, win Game 3 handily, and lose Game 4 in a nailbiter. If all that happens, I don’t expect a home team to lose again, and the Lakers will win the series in seven games. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise me to see the Jazz win in six.

One other NBA thought: the hard foul that Hawks’ F Marvin Williams committed on Celtics’ G Rajon Rondo was an extremely harsh foul, and it did warrant a Flagrant-2. However, I did not think Williams intended on injuring Rondo at all. What Williams did was extremely dangerous, but Jeff Van Gundy hit it right on the head: 1) it looked like Williams tried to grab Rondo, but Rondo was already airborne, and an attempted grab ended up being a near-clothesline; and 2) if Williams really had a play on the ball—one criterion required to deem a foul a flagrant-1 at worst—why didn’t he attempt to go for a block instead? Was the play dirty? Yeah. Was it with intent to injure? I don’t believe so.

Until next time!

Joe Torre to LA?, Tons of Stupid Points, And UBMe #3 (”Shopping Cart Obstructions”)

Hello again, loyal readers!

Quick-hitters:

- Current rebate-o-meter: $3000, and dropping fast!

(W00t!)

- Why must oatmeal raisin cookies be so damn tasty??? I baked a batch last Thursday, and thanks to myself, my sister, her co-workers, my mom, etc., I’m down to five cookies.

(Four.)

Next up: a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I’ll put the over/under on how long those cookies will last at three days, and I’ll take the under.

- Trader Joe’s is evil. Costco is evil.

Going to both stores? Wallet homicide.

(I dare anyone to convince me otherwise.)

- OMG! The NBA season starts tomorrow, and I haven’t even signed up for a Fantasy Basketball league!

- So the big news story, which I just heard about a few minutes ago, is the report that the Los Angeles Dodgers (actually of LA!) are going to fire incumbent manager Grady Little and hire former Yankees’ manager Joe Torre!

THIS. MUST. HAPPEN.

Yes, Grady Little got a bum rap for the 2003 Boston Red Sox debacle. Yeah, he’s probably going to be unfairly fired for what happened last year with my Dodgers (the locker room fracturing, I mean). Still, it’s awfully hard to trade in Little for a four-time World Series-winning manager. I’m really looking forward to see who the Dodgers will end up signing, now that Torre appears to be on board?

(No, I’m not going to be myopic enough to believe that Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, et al., will be donning Dodger Blue next year.)

Great statistic mentioned by SportsCenter, by the way: in 2003, Grady Little was fired by Boston; the Red Sox won the World Series the next year. In 1996, Joe Torre was hired by New York; the Yankees won the World Series the next year. Hmmmm…

me *crosses fingers*


- Speaking of fingers…I was filing some rebates about a week ago.

(I’m usually quick when it comes to filing rebates; it helps to use pre-printed address labels.)

(By the way, the squeamish might want to stop reading here.)

Anyway, I was attempting to flatten one tri-folded rebate submission, getting ready to stuff it into an envelope. I ran my hand across the stack, and proceeded to flatten the submission (five 24# sheets of paper are pretty thick!). That’s when I noticed that my hand had quite a bit of blood on it.

Yeah, somehow, while flattening the rebate submission, I had managed to slice my pinky like a Ginzu knife through a tin can. I shook it off immediately, telling myself “eh, just another paper cut.” Ten seconds later, I was screaming and running towards the nearest sink.

I give myself 25,000 Stupid Points.

- It’s time for UBMe #3, aka “Shopping Cart Obstructions.”

While in line at Costco, you realize that you forgot an item on your shopping list! Knowing that the item–no, it was not Mexicoke–was located at the back of the store, you realize that nothing short of a power walk would get you to the back to the registers in time. You proceed to semi-jog to the back of the store, and realize that there are way too many people there for you to be jogging. You slow to a brisk walk, reach the refrigerated section, grab your item, and head back.

Like a running back in football, you keep trying to hit holes between shopping carts and their owners, trying desperately to get to the front of the store as quickly as possible. Halfway on the return trip, you hit a snag: you reach a section where nobody is moving! Out of the corner of your eye, you quickly notice a small gap opening, so you beeline towards it. That’s when some stupid woman pushes her cart through that gap, beating you to the spot. As if that isn’t bad enough, she then proceeds to leave her cart right there in the open, walking away to go check out some items an aisle away!

UBMe! Do you gently push her cart aside, and continue on your way to the front of the store? Do you patiently wait for another opening (which was unlikely, as the obstruction occurred in front of a smoothie display, and there was a big line of people waiting for samples)? Or do you do something more drastic, like walking across an aisle to get to the much less crowded perimeter of the store?

You decide to gently push her cart out of the way. You reach out, and a split second before you come in contact with her cart, you notice some guy coming in the opposite direction with his cart. You immediately realize that he is approaching you with a good deal of speed, and you know something is going to happen. With his cart, he literally swings his cart into hers, hitting the blockade with such force that the offending carts rolls away about 5-10 feet. Eventually, the cart coasts to a stop in front of a display of pillows, as the guy continues through the newly-opened gap. You turn around, and see the woman head back towards her cart, clearly pissed off! You grin in the direction of the guy who cleared your way, and continue towards front of the store.

You reach the registers, just as the cashier starts ringing up your order.

Seriously, that was awesome. The look on the woman’s face was priceless!

Until next time!

A Second Costco Trip, A Fun Phone Call, and Lots Of Fun Signing Up For Vonage

My apologies for not blogging in the last few days. Some things came up, that kept me AFK.

To make up for that, I promise that this will be one super-long blog entry!

On with it!

Quick-hitters:

- It’s been triple digits here in the last two days, after being in the high 90s over the weekend. My tower fan has been getting horribly overworked the last few days. At least I get a reprieve tomorrow; it’ll only be 99. Yay!

(It seems like perfect barbecuing weather, though.)

- I just realized that women’s clothing is numbered just like bubble mailers (0, 00, 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.). Why the arbitrary numbering system?

- YAY! I got part one of my new computer: the Gigabyte GA-MA69G-S3H motherboard. Onboard HDMI + dual PCI-E + onboard Firewire! Oh my!

I’m actually quite excited with this build, because this is the first time I’m actually going to use a “modern” motherboard. Usually, when I build a computer for myself, I like to use older parts (one generation prior, for example). I don’t need the newest, fastest, and greatest; all I need is a solid upgrade from my existing system (P4 2.4Ghz). This time, I couldn’t resist the deal (thanks to the PayPal $20 off $100 coupon), so I decided to go newer.

My CPU is waiting for me at home, and hopefully the RAM will be there by the end of the week. I can’t wait!

- We took a second trip to Costco today, looking for some MexiCoke. Unfortunately, no such luck. We did pick up some paper towels, juice, and Tony Dungy’s autobiography: Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, & Priorites of a Winning Life.

- So yesterday morning, I got a series of annoying phone calls on my cell phone. The phone number was some 916 phone number, and as far as I knew, I knew no one with a phone number of that area code (my “family” living up there retained their 626 phone number on their cell phone, or so I thought) . On the first call, I picked it up and heard some random babbling, so I hung up. When the phone rang the second time, the exact same thing happened. Frustrated, I picked up the phone on the third call, and heard some more babbling. I screamed “Who the hell is this?” and heard silence, so I quickly hung up. When the phone rang the fourth time, I just hit “Ignore” on my phone and let the call go to voice mail.

I checked the voice mail a few minutes later, and was astonished to hear my cousin’s voice. Turns out that she changed her phone number, and the babbling was the voice of her three-year old brat (the same one that somehow broke into my office and damaged a whole bunch of my blank DVDs a few months ago). Oops!

(Well, now I know that, if he starts cursing, it will be partially my fault :P)

More on this next time, as I really want to get to the next story.

- I had to get in on this Vonage deal at Circuit City. $24.99 (or $14.99) a month, a $300 Circuit City GC instantly, and a possible $175 mail in rebate? Hot deal, right? I thought so, but had second thoughts after the ordeal I went through today.

We dropped by Circuit City after Costco and immediately went to the Vonage display booth, where, to my dismay, I didn’t see any PAP2 adapters (devices used to connect to your Cable/DSL modem or a port on your router, providing you with two phone jacks for voice-over-IP (VoIP) service). After about ten minutes of standing around, I flagged down a Circuit City salesman for assistance. Unfortunately, he was helping another customer, so I got passed off to a guy who was a college freshman at most.

I immediately asked him about wanting to sign up for Vonage, and he had a blank look on his face. Immediately I knew this transaction was not going to go smoothly. He flagged down a superior, and I could hear them talking about the item not being in stock. The salesman came back to me, pulled a different item off the shelf–a more expensive VoIP device/wireless router–and said that this one would work for me. I asked him specifically about the PAP2, and he said he would check to see if other stores had it in stock. He also suggested doing a special-order on the adapter.

While he went back to his terminal to check the stock, I browsed around the store. I went to look at the shelves containing routers and networking adapters, and tucked besides a few Netgear routers, I saw a small blue box with the Vonage logo on it. I pulled it off the shelf, and lo and behold, I found a PAP2!

I turned around and saw the salesman back at the Vonage display, looking for me. I walked towards him, and before he could say anything, I told him I found a PAP2 in a different area of the store. He then told me that his system showed one in stock, and I must have found it =). The salesman went to his terminal to ring up the PAP2, then realized that we had to have the Vonage service activated before he could ring up my purchase.

(Yeah, like my story was going to end THAT quickly.)

We walked all the way to the front of the store–his terminal was all the way in the back–where another salesman handed the guy a “Vendor Services Help Sheet”: a printout on a quarter-sheet of paper, in font size 1 (maybe), with instructions on how to process this Vonage promotion. On the way, the salesman was nice enough to apologize to us for not knowing, exactly, what to do, and we accepted. We walked over towards the customer service desk, and the salesman called up Vonage directly to start the sign-up process. After waiting on hold for a few minutes, he finally got in touch with a Vonage rep, mentioned a few things, and then handed me the phone to give Vonage my information (name, address, email contact, phone contact, etc.). After about fifteen minutes of this, the rep gave me my temporary Vonage account password: 12345678. I couldn’t help but laugh at that, and began thinking about the scene in Spaceballs where President Skroob points out that his luggage has the same passcode (12345) as Druidia’s airlock.

The Vonage rep then started explaining Vonage’s E911 service, clearly reading off a piece of paper. That, in itself, took about five minutes. At the end of that speech, she asked me to verbally agree to those terms and conditions with a “Yes” answer. I guess I didn’t hear her, so I said “OK.” She then said that she would give me my order confirmation number, but she had to quickly go over “a few things”–Vonage’s terms and conditions–and I had to verbally agree to them. But, before she read those, she scolded me, explaining, “Sir, for this series of questions, I need you to give me a clear and straight “YES” answer, and not “OK” or “yeah.” Is that understood?”

Wow.

She then fired off a series of questions (”Do you accept our terms and services?” “Do you accept paying the activation fee?” “Is your credit card valid?” “Do you have brown hair?”), and I said “YES” to each question, in a clearly annoyed voice.

(At this point, I had spent nearly 45 minutes on this freaking deal.)

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the CC salesman and my sister mocking me, laughing and pointing at me every chance they got (I’m glad they enjoyed themselves :P). Finally, after about eight YESes, the rep gave me my order confirmation number. I copied it down, confirmed it with the rep, and handed the phone back to the salesman.

On the way back to his terminal, I mentioned her lecture to me, and the awesome temporary password, and we all had a good laugh about the call. At the terminal, he asked me for my ID, and I just handed him my wallet (my wallet has an ID window, and due to the heat and the fact that I have eleventy billion cards in that slot, I could not get my ID out of there). He took down my address, and proceeded to ring up the item. Amazingly (NOT!), we ran into yet another snag, and the salesman was told to go back to the customer service desk. He started walking back to the front of the store, and I half-jokingly asked for my wallet back, which he had left on top of his terminal.

On the way back to the customer service desk, the salesman pointed out that this was the first time he had processed a Vonage order (no, really?). He also mentioned that his store had very few Vonage orders prior to this week, and noticed a bunch of new signups starting this past Sunday. I mentioned that the promo probably had something to do with it. He then realized how awesome the deal was–I’m pretty sure he didn’t know about the $175 rebate–and then we somehow got to a discussion about early termination fees. I pointed out how bad canceling the Vonage contract early would be, noting that I would lose out on the ETF to Vonage AND be charged by Circuit City for the gift certificate.

(Hey, we had to talk about something; that was a long trip back to the customer service desk!)

We got back to the customer service desk, and the salesman spotted one of only two guys on duty that knew the procedure on how to ring up the $300 gift card. He processed the “purchase” of the GC, handed it to me, demanded it back on the spot–to make sure it had $300 on it, citing that a customer had once bought a GC and walked out of the store without it–verified the funds on the card, wrote “$300″ on it, and handed it back to me. He then went ahead and bagged the PAP2, and handed it to me.

Of course, I had not yet actually purchased the device, so I made mention of that. My original salesman ran it up, had me sign my receipt, and (not surprisingly) the signature-capturing device that CC uses didn’t accept my signature. I tried again, uttering “what else?,” and it worked the second time. He handed me my PAP2, my receipt, and the $175 rebate form that had printed out, and wished me a good day. I thanked him profusely for the help, and walked out of the store, over an hour after I had initially walked in.

I am hoping that the entire ordeal was worth it. Thank goodness I had a nice salesman who was willing and able to crack jokes both with me and at me during the entire transaction.

Apologies for the length of today’s blog, and if it sounds rushed (it was).