Adventures In Obtaining Decent Internet Service (Part 2)
Time for part 2.
On Friday, I called Charter Cable, quickly got someone in the sales department (amazing considering I had to deal with Charter’s IVR), and started my Charter Cable inquiry with a patented “I’m a soon-to-be-former AT&T DSL customer. Can you offer me a deal on Charter Cable?” The rep responded with a seemingly sincere “I’m so glad to hear that!” before attempting to ask me questions geared towards figuring out which package was ‘best’ for me.
I already knew that Charter’s 5/1 plan was good enough for me, so I quickly interrupted her and told her which package I wanted. The rep verified that the plan was $29.99/month with an additional $3/month fee for the cable modem rental. I then asked if there was any way I could simply give a tech my modem MAC address—a SURFBoard 5101 which I knew would work with Charter—and get online immediately; I was able to do this back in my Adelphia days. The rep explained that this was not possible; I had to allow a tech to come and hook up the cable modem. Fine, I thought. I told the rep I’d call back later to put in an order for the 5/1 plan.
A few minutes later, I called back, and Charter’s IVR wouldn’t cooperate. I got transferred to some random drone who, despite my pleads, would not transfer me to someone in sales. I again asked for a deal on Charter Cable; this time, I forgot to lead with the patented “I’m a soon-to-be-former AT&T DSL customer” line. The rep explained that the only deals she could offer me were $44.99 a month for 5/1 and $54.99 a month for 10/1. Huh? What happened to the $29.99 offer for 5/1? “Well, I can only go by what the computer gives me, and the computer won’t give me $29.99 for that plan.”
I asked her to transfer me to someone in the sales department, and the rep refused! I quickly hung up on her, called back, and managed to successfully navigate the IVR again to a person in sales. Again, I asked about the 5/1 plan, and the rep offered me the $29.99 price again, but only for six months. Six months? The first rep never mentioned anything about a six-month term (although, as Krunk pointed out, she also didn’t say that the $29.99 plan wasn’t a promotional rate). I quickly navigated to charter.com, looked at the price of the 5/1 plan—$29.99 a month for up to 12 months—and realized immediately that “six months” = “up to 12 months.” Fine. Almost defeated, I accepted the terms, and that’s when the rep snuck in this haymaker: “There will also be a $49.99 installation fee, which you won’t have to pay immediately, but it will appear on your next bill.”
Wait a freaking second. “A $49.99 installation fee?”, I inquired, to which I got this utterly astounding reply: “Yes sir. You don’t expect us to send a tech out and not pay him, do you?” Before I could pick my jaw off the floor and respond, the tech continued, “You know what? I could reduce the cost of the installation fee, but only if you sign up for Charter Phone!” I responded with a simple “No thank you,” and before the rep could ask me if I still wanted to go through with the Internet order, I hung up on her.
So you might have guessed by now that I was absolutely livid by what had happened to this point. I then realized that my best option appeared to be sticking with AT&T DSL and my Christmas tree-like DSL modem. That’s when I decided to go with the Hail Mary equivalent of customer service: Live Chat.
(cue ultra-dramatic music)
Figuring that I had nothing else to lose, with the exception of a few minutes and the last bits of my sanity, I logged on to Charter’s Live Chat and began praying. A rep named “Annyvette” logged on and, after verifying some information, asked me why I was only a customer of Charter Digital TV and not Phone and Internet too.
(After what I went through today, Charter should be lucky that we’re still a customer, period.)
I politely explained that I was only interested in adding Internet service and told the rep that I wanted 5/1 service. After trying to rent me a modem, and then a wireless gateway, the rep then sent me this:
Did you prefer to send tech to your home to install the internet or would you prefer to do a self installation? The tech installation is $49.99, and will be billed to you on your upcoming bill. Which mistranslation [sic] option did you prefer to set up with?
Wha??? Self-installation??? That first rep lied to me about not having a self-installation option!!!
Five minutes later, the order was put through, and I was chatting with an Internet support rep, getting my modem provisioned. I was up and running a bit later.
Happy ending, right? Not so fast. ONE STINKING DAY after I was up and running with Charter, I had to reboot my modem. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…