UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog

I had no intention of blogging today, but something happened today that got my juices flowing.

One quick-hitter:

- Man-Ram’s line today:  4 for 5, HR, 2 R, 3 RBI, and a triple away from the cycle.

I’m just sayin’.

(Jason Bay’s doing incredibly well too, and I heard Andy LaRoche hit a HR today.  Talk about a great three-way deal!)

- I am NEVER, EVER AGAIN stepping foot in 168 Supermarket…EVER EVER AGAIN.

No, I did not get my ankle snapped by a shopping cart.  In fact, I wish that my ankle was what was injured!

While in the shopping cart autobahn that is the produce section of 168 Supermarket, I was standing in front of my cart, putting away a few bags of stuff that I had just picked up.  That’s when some idiot rammed his cart into my cart, ramming my cart into…well…you know where.

(That sound you hear is the sound of fellow UngsungBlog male readers—all none of you—keeling over.)

(Tangent:  You know how Jackie Chan and other martial arts protagonists always get caught in out-numbered fight scenes?  Why doesn’t the protagonist just kick one of the guys in the balls?  If he were to do so, the other guys would just keel over in sympathy pain as well, no?  Then again, maybe our protagonist would keel over too.)

Worse, the guilty party gave me the death stare as he passed by my bent-over self, as if I had done something wrong!  If ever there were a situation where punching someone right in the g*ddamn face should be legal, that would be it!

(As an aside…I actually had to admit that my mom was right about something today.  That might have hurt more than the physical injury I suffered!)

- My aunt and cousin went fishing this morning around Mt. Baldy, and they brought back some fresh trout!

I wanted to steam it with some slices of lemon and some fresh herbs, but we had neither, so I went with a bit of melted butter, kosher salt, and a bottle of “Italian seasoning.”  A few minutes in my mom’s Flavor Wave oven later, and dinner was served!

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve ever eaten freshly-caught fish.  At least, this was the first time I’ve knowingly eaten freshly-caught fish.  Good stuff, and at $10/fish, it wasn’t terribly expensive either.

- I had a really difficult time navigating through sports web sites today, because of all the pictures of a grinning Diva Favre all over the place!

Later on today, we got to see a beaming Diva Favre as he walked from his just-landed charter jet into an SUV waiting for him.  If the pictures of his face on those web sites were vomit-inducing, that shot of him walking towards the car could have been a biological weapon of mass destruction.

And who the hell were these people that greeted Favre off the runway?  You people reminded me of the numbskulls standing outside the court house when Wacko Jacko’s “Not Guilty” verdict was announced, screaming at the top of your lungs when it happened.  Are you myopians that blinded by his stature that you will let him jerk around with your emotions for THREE STRAIGHT YEARS?  What the hell are you guys going to do next year, if (when?) he performs Act IV of “As Brett Favre’s World Turns?”  Carry him on your shoulders from the airport to Lambeau Field?  Tattoo the number “4″ on to all your chests?

Speaking of divas, if I hear just ONE interview with Deanna Favre, asking her about her tribulations during this offseason with her husband, I might just stab my eyes and ears out.

(ETA:  Week 1 v. Minnesota…Michele Tafoya, get ready.)

Also, to make Aaron Rodgers’ life even more miserable, apparently the Packers are going to have an open competition for the Packers’ now-vacant QB job.

(clears throat…)

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO “Aaron Rodgers is our quarterback??????????????”

Seriously, Packers, please release the guy.  Either that, or give him a gun to shoot himself in the face with.  Let’s face it; despite all of the pageantry and drama surrounding Diva Favre, he is clearly the better quarterback, and Rodgers has almost no chance of beating out Favre for the starting QB job!  Did Aaron Rodgers sleep with the wife of a high-ranking Packers’ official?

Check out this gem:

“Although we built this year around the assumption that Brett meant what he said about retiring, Brett is coming back,” team president and CEO Mark Murphy said. “We will welcome him back and turn this situation to our advantage.”

Are you kidding me?  You had to ASSUME that Brett meant it when he said he was retiring?  The tears, the hesitations…all that was just an act, wasn’t it, Diva Favre?

Please, Green Bay brass, trade Aaron Rodgers for a fifth- or sixth- round pick.  Otherwise, you guys are guilty of first-degree murder…of a career that never had a chance to take off.

Any time you can make T.O. look like a model citizen, you know you’re screwing up somewhere.  Diva Favre, you’re making Adam “PacMan” Jones look pretty good right about now.  Last year, I couldn’t watch SportsCenter because of all the butt-kissing of the New England Patriots.  This year, I won’t be able to watch because of all the coverage the Favre is going to get.

Congratulations, Brett Favre.  You have now surpassed Tom Brady as the most obnoxious player that I hated first out of professional jealousy, and then later hated because for being an idiot.

And I mean this last part with absolute sincerity:

Brett Favre, F**K YOU.  Stay the f**k off my television next year!  I will NOT watch a single game you play in next season, even if the final game you play happens to be the Super Bowl.  Please, I beg of you to throw three back-breaking picks late in a game, and then throw your teammates and the entire Packers organization under the bus.  THAT, I would tune in to.

(He’s already getting the double-middle-finger salute from my sister, and she used to be a HUGE Brett Favre fan.  And trust me, she’s cursing him out 10x worse than I am.)

Tags: 168 supermarket, aaron rodgers, andy laroche, brett favre, diva favre, fresh trout, injury, jason bay, manny ramirez, mt. baldy, produce section by Peter
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Quick-hitters:

- I just realized that my blog could be abbreviated as USB!

(Yes, that probably amused only me.)

I should hire someone to spoof a USB icon for my blog

- You know you order too much stuff on Amazon.com when, browsing your recently placed orders, you have to think about why you ordered a particular item…or five.

That being said, I think this Delta Seven-Spray Hand Shower is a huge necessity, don’t you agree?

- So you might recall that, not long ago, I bought a bunch of “marginally healthy” snacks from Amazon.com.

Save the dark chocolate pretzels, we haven’t come close to polishing off everything. The yogurt snacks are just way too freaking sweet. Well, I think I’ve finally found a way to use up my yogurt raisins: healthy cereal topping!

Yogurt raisins + Total = pretty darn good. I wonder what adding crushed yogurt pretzels might do to a bowl of otherwise bland cereal…

- We had to celebrate Father’s Day on Saturday, because my dad had to attend a wedding the next day.

(Who the hell schedules a wedding on Father’s Day???)

He wanted steak, and I wanted to BBQ, so naturally we came to a good compromise:  grilled steak!  My sister then decided that it would be a good idea to go shopping at 168 Supermarket.

THIS 168 Supermarket.

Two highlights of the trip to 168 Supermarket:

1) While going through the still-narrow-as-hell produce aisles, some stupid woman decided to situate herself right in the middle of the aisle down which I was traveling.  I pushed my cart right in front of her—she was facing the West of the store, while my cart pointed North—and waited for her to move ever so slightly.

She did move, if by “move” I mean she bent forward a nano-millimeter.  I decided that there was enough room between her back and the display of whatever produce was there, so I eased my way through the gap.

(Could I have said “excuse me?”  Sure, but I didn’t want the death stare :P)

A couple minutes later, I noticed her loudly talking to another customer (no longer where she initially blocked my path), and for some reason, they were pointing and staring in my direction!  Seconds later, they both walked over to the produce display that the woman was looking through earlier.

Of course, for all I know, they might have actually been cursing me off.

2) Five minutes later (yes, that quickly), we had already finished our shopping, so we headed down one aisle towards the checkout.  That’s when some woman blitzed right past us on our right, but not before leaning her shoulder to nudge my sister out of the way.

If not for the bright pink sweater she was wearing…or the fact that she was 5′1″, or the fact that she was not exactly in tip-top shape, I would have thought that LaDainian Tomlinson ran right past us.

- Steaks were tasty, as well as the grilled veggies—three different bell peppers, tomatoes, and Italian squash—and the potato salad was quite good too.  Well, two of the steaks were quite good.  The rest of the steaks were dry as hell, which is what happens when you attempt to cook steaks to well done on a BBQ grill.

After 25 minutes, I pulled the other steaks off the grill, and they were still slightly—and I mean slightly pink.  Apparently, they were still too pink for the rest of my family to eat, and my dad and oldest sister MICROWAVED their pieces.

(Note to self:  it takes at least 20-25 minutes to get a well done 1″ New York strip, or twice as long as a medium rare steak would take.)

Seriously, how could anyone eat a well done steak?  You’d have to pour on copious amounts of A-1 sauce just to be allowed to call your steak “dry.”  A well done steak on a BBQ?  That’s Death Valley in terms of dryness.  Beef jerky has more juice in it than a well done steak.

- Raise your hand if you saw the epic sporting event of this past weekend?

No, I’m not talking about the Lakers’ near-second monumental collapse, of which I only saw a small fraction.  I’m talking about the US Open of golf!

(Yes, I watch golf too!  And for the scope of this discussion, let’s not debate over whether or not golf is a sport.)

Who didn’t think that Tiger was going to nail that final putt on 18?  Sure, the ball might have rolled around the cup slightly before dropping in, but the ball certainly knew better!  And what a setup we have for tomorrow’s 18-hole tiebreaker:  Tiger and his balky, surgically repaired knee, versus Rocco Mediate.

(Who?  The 158th player in the world, with five CAREER wins—Tiger has 13 MAJOR wins, by comparison—and by the way, a great guy, based on the post-round interviews he gave.)

Tiger has to be the overwhelming favorite, despite the wounded knee, but don’t tell me that Mediate doesn’t deserve to get into the playoffs.  He played a hell of a round, and had at least two shots at putting some distance between himself and Woods.  Do you think Mediate is kicking himself over that missed short putt on (I believe it was) 13?

I think Tiger will win, but I doubt he’ll crush Rocco.

Until next time!

Tags: 168 supermarket, amazon.com, bbq, cereal, new york strip, potato salad, rocco mediate, shower head, snacks, tiger woods, us open, well done, yogurt raisins by Peter
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