UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog

Quick-hitters:

- Current rebate-o-meter: $1,740, though $60 of that almost never reached my bank account (more on that later).

- I see that there are eleven left in the IMBC.

Amy, you might as well give up now…you have no shot of winning!

- It’s time for another installment of UBMe!

It is a beautiful day today, so you decide to get out of the house As you head for the parking lot, you stop by your mailbox—it’s a typical apartment mailbox; small, rectangular, barely large enough to hold a single brick in it. You open it, and find two bubble mailers and the Wall Street Journal that you know your sister no longer reads.

(Background: My sister subscribes to the WSJ, but for some reason, the WSJ delivery guys don’t have a key to get in to our complex. Therefore, they have to deliver the paper with the normal mail, and, according to my sister, we always get the previous day’s paper with the current day’s mail. Since my sister doesn’t bother reading the WSJ, I usually just toss it.)

You grab the folded paper, check between the fold—you know your mail carrier likes to fold the paper around your other mail—find nothing there, and proceed to toss the paper into the nearby trash can. Upon tossing the paper, you see the pages of the folded paper fan open…and a rebate check pokes its head out between two pages!

You grab the paper from the trash can, and find the rest of your mail shoved inside the newspaper: two more rebate checks, a credit card bill, and some junk mail! If you had just blindly tossed the paper into the trash can, all of that mail would have been lost!

I guess my mail carrier missed the fold itself, and accidentally inserted the mail between pages of the paper. It’s a damn good thing I noticed it when I chucked the paper. Now I gotta wonder: have I thrown away other mail in a similar fashion?

- Have you ever watched a baseball game and cringed when a batter fouls a pitch off, and the ball caroms into one of his legs? With the exception of the shot to the package, I’d have a hard time arguing that there is anything more painful in baseball than that.

I mentioned that it was a beautiful day today, so we decided to swing by the local family fun center for some batting practice and, if time permitted, some miniature golf. While watching my sister all but bunt her allotment of slow-pitch softball tosses, she popped one up in her immediate vicinity. Taking cover as if she heard a gunshot, I quipped “Isn’t that what the helmet is for?”

When it was my turn to hit, I decided to start with the slow-pitch cage as a warm-up. If you don’t mind my saying, I was raking pretty well; I made excellent contact with several of the pitches without whiffing on a single pitch.

(I know, I know…bragging about hitting slow-pitch tosses. How impressive!)

The batting cages used to be $2 for a token (20 pitches); it’s now $3 for a token (though now you get 30 pitches, so at least it comes out to the same cost per pitch). I remembered having enough trouble with twenty pitches—I’d tire out at around 15 or so—and I was feeling especially tired near the round of 30. When pitch #29 came, I took a giant swing at it, and knew immediately that I hit the top of the ball.

How did I know? I fouled the pitch RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF MY RIGHT FOOT, right on top of my shoe laces (I hit right-handed, so that was my back foot). YEOW!!!

I let out a painful scream, tried to regain my composure, and could only very weakly swing at the next pitch. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t raise my left foot off the ground! Fortunately, that was also the last pitch of that round.

I limped out of the batting cages, limped towards the bench outside the cage, and immediately began massaging my foot. Fortunately, the foul ball didn’t leave a bruise, although I still feel pain in the foot.

Moral of the story: I can insult my sister, but at serious risk to my own health. Clearly, I still have not learned my lesson.

- Finally, I just have to end today’s blog with a…um…intriguing sight I saw at 99 Ranch today.

(Disclaimer: The following may be offensive to some. You have been warned.)

I was at the butcher’s section of the store, strolling about with my shopping cart, when I noticed a petite Asian woman standing quite oddly. And by “quite oddly,” I mean that she was sticking her chest out about as far as anatomically possible. Strange, I thought…

Robin Williams, in Live on Broadway, once quipped that he saw a woman that had such a bad boob job that, when she turned in a different direction, her boobs stayed in the same direction. Let’s put it this way: it looked like she was wearing a breast plate under her shirt; she turned, and those things didn’t move. I figured they were made out of Kevlar; a bullet wouldn’t have stood a chance! The woman looked soooooooo uncomfortable standing there, and it’s not like she had C or D cups!

Once I found the item I was looking for—chicken breasts, interestingly enough—I went down a couple aisles to where my sister was shopping, and before I could ask her if she saw the girl, she immediately asked me if I noticed her!

Bring on the hate mail!

Tags: baseball, batting cages, injury, supermarket, UBMe by Peter
1 Comment »

Quick-hitters:

- I just made myself a tuna fish sandwich, and I can’t believe I forgot to add chopped tomato!

Argh!

(Much more on sandwiches later.)

- Current rebate-o-meter:  $1600 and rising.

Quite possibly for the first time in my life, I am actually up-to-date with my filing of rebates!

- You can add the latest round of douche-baggy WalMart commercials to the ever growing list of commercials that I could live without.

- Some interesting news on the rebate front:

1) I made mention recently that I got my $25 rebate—issued by Fry’s—for an American Telecom Systems phone that I bought months ago:

(Speaking of Fry’s, I got my $25 rebate check for the ATS phone rebate I was being scammed out of. Now if only they would stop using DHL…)

Interestingly enough, I got an email from AmericanTelecomServices@cs.rebatestatus.com with the subject “Your rebate from American Telecom Services, Inc.” on Wednesday.  Strange…I was almost certain that rebate-zone.com was the company that handled ATS rebates, and a quick check of my rebate PDFs showed that I was correct.

Nevertheless, I clicked the link in the email, and here’s the status of the rebate:

Promotion	5103B $25 @ Frys Tranship H715260
Rebate Number	104945
Submission ID	[deleted]
Status	We have received your submission and it is being processed.

I’ll be interested to see if I actually receive a check.  Of course, once I receive it, I will tear it up.

2) Speaking of rebatestatus.com, if only I could get them to respond to the bulls**t rejection of my Acronis True Image Home rebate for $20.  Missing UPC?  You mean the one I taped to the rebate form itself?

Apparently they have no interest in responding to any of my emails—three sent to them in two weeks.

Stay tuned…

3) Finally, D-Day for my XG/MGE rebate fiasco is Friday.  I’m not holding my breath…

- I haven’t done one of these in a LONG time:  a UBMe (#5, aka “Mind Your Own Business”)!

You’re sitting at a Subway (the restaurant, not the mode of transport) with your iPod earbuds ons, listening to your favorite podcast.  You’re minding your own business in the NE corner of the store, facing the middle of the store—the door is in the SE corner—snacking on a Subway Club on Honey Oat bread.

(Tangent:  I ordered a Subway Melt, dammit!)

(Tangent #2:  Yes, I looked very douche-baggy, with the iPod on hand.  Now I see why people buy iPods :P)

Despite the maxed-out volume on the iPod—between the blaring music and the loud workers, it was hard to listen to the podcast without being distracted—you were able to hear the chime on the door as a female customer walked in.  You glance over quickly, and went back to your sandwich and Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.

The woman spends about five minutes before deciding on what she wants, and then she proceeds with her order.  While this is going on, you’re trying to listen intently to the podcast (again, over the loud music and the chatty workers).

The woman finishes up her to-go order, and apparently you make eye contact with her for about one nanomillisecond too long (maybe two milliseconds total), because the woman decides to walk up to you and blurt (paraphrasing) “You know…[sitting there with your headphones on] is rude!”

UBMe!  W T F? Is there anything worth saying to the woman?  Or do you completely ignore her, adding to your douche-baggy appearance, like I actually did?

I would have thrown a chip at her, but Sun Chips are so damn good!

- And finally, I think I unlocked the secret to making an amazing sandwich.  No, it’s not slices of fresh tomato.  No, even though toasting the bread is a good idea, it doesn’t make a sandwich awesome.  Miracle whip?  Tangy goodness, but nope.  Spicy brown mustard is nice, but not the secret.  Cheese?  Swiss cheese is good, but nope.

What makes a sandwich go from good to awesomely good?

A third slice of bread.

There is something about adding a third slice of bread to a sandwich that makes it so much better!  I suppose it might be because I have an excuse to add extra toppings and condiments on my sandwich.  Maybe it’s because the third slice of bread adds a layer of, um, structural integrity to the sandwich.  Whatever the reason is, I now have an excuse to eat the end pieces of the every loaf of bread I buy!

(Tangent:  My family seems to have an aversion to the end pieces of a loaf.   Every time a new loaf is opened, the first slice that is picked out is almost always the second slice of bread.  I guess the end pieces are too “crusty” for our liking.)

Damn…I wonder how good a tuna fish sandwich using three slices of bread would be?

I’ll report on that next time

by Peter
3 Comments »

Ugh, I ate some really horrible Mexican food for dinner tonight, and now I feel really sick.

(Tangent: Tums Sugar Free is NAS-TY! I’d almost rather have the aches than have to chew and swallow these things. Maybe if I chased them down with some juice or milk next time…)

- After reading Krunk’s blog last week on Spanakopita, I decided to try to make the dish myself, using the recipe found on Wikipedia.

I actually never got around to cooking it until Thursday night :P.

I mixed together all of the ingredients, save the eggs, and sampled the spinach mix. O M F G. I could have eaten the filling by itself! I had to restrain myself from snacking on the filling as I layered two glass baking dishes with the phyllo dough.

(Tip: If you’re using phyllo dough, either get someone to help you, to speed up the process, or lay a wet cheesecloth on top of the unused portion of your dough. Otherwise, you’ll end up with hardened, tough-to-peel pieces of phyllo at the end of the preparation. Fortunately for me, only the last couple of pieces got stuck together.)

An hour of baking later, and my spanakopita dish was done! One bite into the dish, and I could have died happy on the spot :P. I think I overdid it on the fresh dill and the parsley, and I might have used too much salt, but I didn’t care. The phyllo dough was perfectly flaky, and the Mediterranean-seasoned feta cheese–Trader Joe’s didn’t have any regular feta cheese, so I went with what they had–was awesome.

I have pics (just for you, Hank), but I’m too lazy/sick to grab them off my camera at the moment. Trust me when I say that the pics I had won’t do the dish justice. I’ve got so much left over, in fact, that I could probably freeze a whole baking dish’s worth.

EDIT: Here’s a side pic of one of the slices (never mind the hideousness of the way the crust looks; this batch was from the latter sheets of phyllo dough, where they became impossibly difficult to work with. Besides, taste matters to me far more than presentation!)

Next time, I’m going to have to try wrapping them individually, like the way Krunk bought them.

- Presenting UBMe #4, aka “A CompUSA Dilemma.” Readers may want to read about my history with CompUSA before offering an opinion on today’s UBMe topic.

A week ago, you ordered a refurbished Targus Universal laptop charger from CompUSA (it was quite cheap). At about 8:30pm Thursday night, you were surprised by a knock on your door; it was Fedex with the charger!

(I don’t recall ever getting a delivery THAT late!)

You open up the box, plug in the charger, and was dismayed when you realized that the charger wasn’t compatible with your Dell laptop, despite the item description saying that it was compatible with “most” Dell laptops. You found the part you needed to get the charger to work with your laptop directly from Targus, making your cheap laptop charger a slightly more expensive, but still cheaper-than-OEM charger.

Fast forward to today…you opened your front door this morning, to find a package left in front of it. Puzzled, you picked it up, and noticed that it was from CompUSA. Certain that you didn’t order anything else from CompUSA, you noticed a sticker on the side of the box: it was another laptop charger!

You knew immediately that the right thing to do was to call CompUSA and let them know that you received a second item, even though you only ordered one. That’s when you recalled all the crap you’ve gone through with CompUSA; they’re not called “CrapUSA,” “CompUSSR,” “CrapUSSR,” et al., for nothing, right?

UBMe! Do you do the right thing and get in touch with CompUSA, telling them of their mistake? Hey, maybe they’ll tell you to keep the item anyway! Or, do you say “screw CompUSA” and keep the item, justifying your decision by the fact that the item was only ~$20?

I haven’t yet decided what my decision is going to be.

- Apologies for not having a thorough review of last week’s Office episode. I loved Michael’s version of the Dunder-Mifflin commercial, though, much more than the one Dunder Mifflin went ahead and used! Easily the best line of the episode was this insight into Michael’s creativity (quote borrowed from TV.com):

Michael: (To camera) Alright, let me ask you this: how many of you think this is creative? When I was five, I imagined there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows, and a huge spike on his head. I was five… FIVE years old. Couldn’t even talk yet.

LOL!

As for last Thursday’s episode, I’m still not 100% sure what I think about this episode. Sure, there were tons of funny moments (the scene where Jim and Dwight wheel the copier down the hallway, causing hilarity to ensue, was so over-the-top ridiculous that it was funny), but I thought the episode was quite disjointed; it was literally all over the place. It appeared like the episode was going out of its way to crack as many jokes as possible, without giving us viewers any actual substance.

Mike’s “kidnapping” of Jim, for instance, was clearly a case of the writers trying to get laughs (and it only served to piss me off). The same goes with Dwight tossing Jim’s phone out of the window. At that point, any normal person would have quit his job on the spot, right? I was also not amused to hear of Michael and Dwight’s plans for the Utica office. Was it just me, or were those Molotov cocktails? Seriously, Michael and Dwight could be idiotically funny without committing near-crimes, right (see my review on “Launch Party”)? We need more of the pathetic, idiotic Michael that we could sympathize with, and less of the over the top, outrageous, and–dare I say–criminal Michael that we saw in this episode. I was again ready to change the channel at this point, and I don’t remember ever saying that TWICE in the same season of The Office, much less twice in six episodes.

As far as Jim and Pam are concerned, it’s pretty clear that their relationship is going to hit a rocky patch, and I’m interested to see how the writers are going to proceed. The seeds of doubt were firmly planted in last week’s episode; did you notice how uncomfortable Jim was when he showed Pam “Philly Jim?” Also, was it just me, or was Pam not thrilled with Jim interrupting her work on the commercial? Are we closing in on an imminent meltdown? Furthermore, I thought it was very interesting that the end-of-episode skit, which generally offers nothing of substance to the episode, showed Jim clearly unable to fit in with “The Finer Things Club.” And how much Pam find out about what happened in Utica? Maybe she was told about Jim and Karen’s conversation? As for Karen, I thought she played her role perfectly in this episode. I really hated the “if you wanted to see me, you could have just called” line, but you would have expected Karen to be pissed about seeing Jim again.

All in all, the second-half of the episode was great for the quick laughs, but I wasn’t too impressed with the episode as a whole.

My favorite moments:

• Karen: (on becoming Utica’s Regional Manager) “Turns out it’s a pretty easy gig when your boss isn’t an idiot and your boyfriend’s not in love with somebody else.”
• Oscar: “Besides the having sex with men, I would say ‘The Finer Things Club’ is the gayest thing about me.”
• Utica’s best salesman (to Michael): “Aren’t you the guy that hit the woman with your car?” (Did anyone catch Pam’s laugh, Michael’s whispering of “Get out!,” and the fact that Meredith was walking past them in the background?)
• Michael (to Toby): “Oh. My. God. That’s why people are leaving! I have no words…” (poor Toby!)
• Dwight: “I think I cut my penis on the lid.” (Ewwwww…)
• Kevin and Phyllis’ interrupting of “The Finer Things Club” (that was LMFAOPMP funny, I must admit). I wonder how many takes it took to complete that scene.
• Dwight: “I have to do something to his eyes,” followed by “The eyes are the groin of the head.”
• Michael: “Jim…if this is it for me, promise me something. Host the Dundees,” followed by “Do not tell Karen about the industrial copier.”

And I LOLed when Stanley revealed that Michael had “called his bluff.”

Until next time!

by Peter
3 Comments »

Hello again, loyal readers!

Quick-hitters:

- Current rebate-o-meter: $3000, and dropping fast!

(W00t!)

- Why must oatmeal raisin cookies be so damn tasty??? I baked a batch last Thursday, and thanks to myself, my sister, her co-workers, my mom, etc., I’m down to five cookies.

(Four.)

Next up: a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I’ll put the over/under on how long those cookies will last at three days, and I’ll take the under.

- Trader Joe’s is evil. Costco is evil.

Going to both stores? Wallet homicide.

(I dare anyone to convince me otherwise.)

- OMG! The NBA season starts tomorrow, and I haven’t even signed up for a Fantasy Basketball league!

- So the big news story, which I just heard about a few minutes ago, is the report that the Los Angeles Dodgers (actually of LA!) are going to fire incumbent manager Grady Little and hire former Yankees’ manager Joe Torre!

THIS. MUST. HAPPEN.

Yes, Grady Little got a bum rap for the 2003 Boston Red Sox debacle. Yeah, he’s probably going to be unfairly fired for what happened last year with my Dodgers (the locker room fracturing, I mean). Still, it’s awfully hard to trade in Little for a four-time World Series-winning manager. I’m really looking forward to see who the Dodgers will end up signing, now that Torre appears to be on board?

(No, I’m not going to be myopic enough to believe that Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, et al., will be donning Dodger Blue next year.)

Great statistic mentioned by SportsCenter, by the way: in 2003, Grady Little was fired by Boston; the Red Sox won the World Series the next year. In 1996, Joe Torre was hired by New York; the Yankees won the World Series the next year. Hmmmm…

me *crosses fingers*

- Speaking of fingers…I was filing some rebates about a week ago.

(I’m usually quick when it comes to filing rebates; it helps to use pre-printed address labels.)

(By the way, the squeamish might want to stop reading here.)

Anyway, I was attempting to flatten one tri-folded rebate submission, getting ready to stuff it into an envelope. I ran my hand across the stack, and proceeded to flatten the submission (five 24# sheets of paper are pretty thick!). That’s when I noticed that my hand had quite a bit of blood on it.

Yeah, somehow, while flattening the rebate submission, I had managed to slice my pinky like a Ginzu knife through a tin can. I shook it off immediately, telling myself “eh, just another paper cut.” Ten seconds later, I was screaming and running towards the nearest sink.

I give myself 25,000 Stupid Points.

- It’s time for UBMe #3, aka “Shopping Cart Obstructions.”

While in line at Costco, you realize that you forgot an item on your shopping list! Knowing that the item–no, it was not Mexicoke–was located at the back of the store, you realize that nothing short of a power walk would get you to the back to the registers in time. You proceed to semi-jog to the back of the store, and realize that there are way too many people there for you to be jogging. You slow to a brisk walk, reach the refrigerated section, grab your item, and head back.

Like a running back in football, you keep trying to hit holes between shopping carts and their owners, trying desperately to get to the front of the store as quickly as possible. Halfway on the return trip, you hit a snag: you reach a section where nobody is moving! Out of the corner of your eye, you quickly notice a small gap opening, so you beeline towards it. That’s when some stupid woman pushes her cart through that gap, beating you to the spot. As if that isn’t bad enough, she then proceeds to leave her cart right there in the open, walking away to go check out some items an aisle away!

UBMe! Do you gently push her cart aside, and continue on your way to the front of the store? Do you patiently wait for another opening (which was unlikely, as the obstruction occurred in front of a smoothie display, and there was a big line of people waiting for samples)? Or do you do something more drastic, like walking across an aisle to get to the much less crowded perimeter of the store?

You decide to gently push her cart out of the way. You reach out, and a split second before you come in contact with her cart, you notice some guy coming in the opposite direction with his cart. You immediately realize that he is approaching you with a good deal of speed, and you know something is going to happen. With his cart, he literally swings his cart into hers, hitting the blockade with such force that the offending carts rolls away about 5-10 feet. Eventually, the cart coasts to a stop in front of a display of pillows, as the guy continues through the newly-opened gap. You turn around, and see the woman head back towards her cart, clearly pissed off! You grin in the direction of the guy who cleared your way, and continue towards front of the store.

You reach the registers, just as the cashier starts ringing up your order.

Seriously, that was awesome. The look on the woman’s face was priceless!

Until next time!

Tags: cookies, costco, joe torre, los angeles dodgers, oatmeal, paper cut, raisin, rebates, shopping cart, stupid points, trader joe, UBMe by Peter
7 Comments »

There are a number of reasons why I haven’t blogged lately. You could consider all of them to be lame excuses

I have a lot to talk about, so I have no more excuses to not blog. Expect my next “entry” to be split up into a couple of parts.
(Yeah, right.)

No quick-hitters tonight…let’s get right into it.

- Presenting UBMe #2, aka “Some Kind of Stupid.”

You’re heading out from your parents’ home with your two sisters, your mom, your aunt, and your now-three-year-old nephew (yeah, he’s visiting again). Needing two cars, you send your oldest sister out first, with the nephew and your aunt. As you get ready to head out, you notice a brand spankin’ new Bimmer parked on the edge of a curb, right in front of your driveway! The moron parked his car in such a way that 75% of the driveway was blocked off!

WTF???

Half an hour later, after loading up both cars, you notice that the idiot is still there! Worse, some other jackass double-parked his car on the road as well! Ridiculous!
UBMe! Would you have driven up to the end of the driveway, and honked your horn to holy hell? Would you have tried to drive over the other side of the curb, potentially f**king up your car to holy hell? Would you have rammed his car and cited a drop in your blood sugar level as the cause of your lapse? Or would you do something else?

You instruct your oldest sister to drive up to the car, and honk her horn repeatedly until the ass moved his car. After a minute of non-stop honking, the ass runs out, gets in his car, and drives off. Your sister pulls out of the driveway, and a bit later, you see the motherf**ker come back and block the driveway again!!!!!!!!!!

(Seriously…how freaking stupid do you have to be to do this AGAIN?)

UBMe! What would you do in this situation? Is this a case where murder is justified. Is murder too excessive? How about six torn knee ligaments?

You feel that the best thing to do is to do exactly what your oldest sister did. You instruct your other sister to drive up to the asshole’s car, honk her horn to holy hell, and wait. He comes running out of the house, drives off…and double-parks his car a few feet away! You drive up behind his car, making it clear that you need to pass him. He drives slowly, until he is able to pull off the road, and he decides to stop…right next to a fire hydrant. Out of the rear view mirror, you look to see that he U-turns, and you know exactly where he’s headed. He’s going right back to his parking “spot.”

At this point, would you have gone back to the driveway, pretending to have forgotten something, and honked your horn to holy hell again, forcing the asshole to come back out?

(I would have, had I not thought about doing this right when we hit the freeway.)

But seriously…how freaking stupid do you have to be to illegally park your car THREE TIMES in the SAME PLACE??!?!?!?!?!

This easily tops the psycho woman in the gas station…by a WIDE margin.

- Now, on to a less coma-inducing topic: my latest shopping haul! I bought some Tums, five SoyJoy protein bars (4 for $4 with a $4 ECB + a B2G1 free coupon), some more Beano ($2.99 with a $2.99 ECB + a $1 off coupon), and two bags of Halloween candy (2 for $5, $1 off 2 coupon, $1 ECB). I also got some free after coupon apple juice from Ralphs!

Anyway, back to CVS…the Tums was supposed to be $4.99 with a $2 ECB, but for some reason, it scanned at $5.49. I asked the cashier about this, and she took my item and went to the aisle where the Tums are sold. She came back, told me that the shelf price was $5.49, but she would go correct it (based on the ad price). At that point, I told her that I would accept the $5.49 price, as long as the $2 ECB printed out.

To my bewilderment, the clerk wouldn’t take no for an answer! She said that I deserved the ad price, and finished scanning all my items. After handing her my coupons + ECBs, my total was $0.52. Reaching for a buck in my wallet, I was shocked to hear the cashier tell me “Just give me two pennies.”

(I had to run over to my sister to ask her for two cents, as I didn’t have a single coin on me.)

After handing the cashier the two pennies, she handed me my receipt + newly printed ECBs, and we noticed that the $2 ECB never printed out. She took my receipt, flagged down the manager again, and explained the situation.

(At this point, the transaction was taking over ten minutes, and I didn’t really want the $2 any more ;p).

The manager told the woman to do an override for $2, but as she attempted to do that, the computer rejected the override. You see, since my total was $0.52, the system wouldn’t let her do an override for more than that amount, as the system does not allow negative totals. The manager offered to refund me $0.52, explaining that that was all he could do.

At that point, I was more than happy to tell the manager that the $2 ECB that didn’t print was no big deal. I thanked him and the cashier, apologized to both of them for taking up so much of their time (they were EXTREMELY helpful throughout the situation), and left. Oh well; it’s not often that I could say I spent two measly cents at any store.

I had more to talk about, but I had been moving loads of stuff into my room for the past two hours (long story), and I’m really tired. Until next time!

by Peter
2 Comments »

First of all, prayers go out to everybody affected by the fires here in SoCal, especially those in San Diego County. What’s going on here is eerily reminiscent of the fires of 2003–I was a UCSD student at the time, and one of the fires was burning no more than ten miles south of where we were. I remember waking up that Sunday morning, wondering why I could see bright orange rays of light coming from my window. Although I had a midterm that Tuesday–it was subsequently postponed by a week, as the campus was closed for a couple of days–I remember doing nothing but playing video games all day, just to get my mind off the fires.

When the campus re-opened, I returned to my volunteer position at the Preuss School (a charter school adjacent to UCSD) and I made it a point to ask the students how their families were doing, fully aware that most of the kids lived in areas affected by the fires. Talk about a humbling experience; it made my whining on Sunday look awfully pathetic by comparison.

I noticed that the winds have died down here significantly; hopefully that helps the firefighters out there in controlling these blazes. And as far as the arsonists that caused a couple of these fires are concerned, I think we should use those fire-fighting planes, pick them up by their legs, and drop them head-first into the Pacific Ocean…or an active volcano.

Let’s get on with it.

Quick-hitters:

- Current rebate-o-meter: $3300. That total includes the $150 or so I got in the past few days. Sigh…

- I can’t wait for Halloween!

Well, I can’t wait for the day after Halloween, when Halloween candy is clearanced :D.

- Somebody please remind me to watch the World Series with my TV muted. Between Tim McCarver, John Mellencamp, AT&T (’tis a shame they dumped the name “Cingular”; I can’t call them Crapular any more.), and that XBox 360 commercial with the kids absolutely f**king up Poison’s “Nothin’ But A Good Time,” I’m this close to buying a TiVo.

More on baseball later.

- In an effort to make my blog a bit more interactive, I am introducing a new feature here: UBMe! Every now and then, I will blog about an interesting event that happened to me, and let my loyal readers (all none of you) decide what they would do in my shoes.

(Please refrain from posting your “Create Your Own Adventures was so 1980s!” comments).

Yes, you loyal readers can now advise me on how I should have handled a particular mind-numbing situation!

Presenting UBMe #1:

You’re sitting in front of your computer, enjoying your tasty ham-and-cheese sandwich (the meal of champions!), when all of a sudden, someone pounds on your door.

You open the door, and see a teenage girl holding a box of candy. Nothing special about the candy; it looks like something that you could buy from Costco. The girl, without any introduction, asks “Would you like to buy some candy for one dollar?”

You immediately identify this as a fundraiser, and ask the girl to wait while you go fetch your wallet. When you find your wallet, you open up the currency compartment…to find nothing but receipts!

Knowing that you’re going to disappoint the girl, you go back to the door and tell her that you don’t have even a single dollar in your wallet. The girl then tells you, “Well, can you look around your house for a dollar?”

If you decide to slam the door in her face, you’re either really really mean, or really really smart. If you decide to politely tell her again that you don’t have a buck, go on.

You decide to tell her, even more politely, that you just don’t have a buck with you. After the girl pleads for you to find a freaking dollar, you show her your wallet, empty the contents, and give the wallet a shake, in an effort to prove that you don’t have any money in your wallet!

To your amazement, two quarters drop out of your wallet and roll away. The girl, giving you the “you dirty liar!” look, points out, “Look! You have money! Can’t you look around your house for more?”

If you decide to slam the door in her face, you’re a heck of a lot smarter than I am. If you decide to politely ask her to come back later (when, hopefully, you actually have a buck in your wallet), read on.

For some really dumb reason, you ask her to come back later tonight. The girl, obviously disappointed, tells you that she can’t, but she would like to come back tomorrow. You say sure. She responds, “And you’ll have a dollar then, right?”

If you decide to slam the door in her face, you’re just being human. If you say “OK, I’ll see you tomorrow,” go back to the beginning.

Wasn’t that fun?

- Here are my super-quick MLB/World Series thoughts

1) The sight of [that Boston RF that I refuse to name] hitting that clutch grand-slam was absolutely nauseating. I’d rather see 1,000 Chevy/John Mellencamp commercials end-to-end than to see that replay one time.

2) Stat that summed up the Boston-Cleveland ALCS: touted pitchers C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona combined to win ZERO games in the series.

3) Cleveland rocks! (Nope!) Cleveland rocks! (Nope!!!) Cleveland rocks! (Wrong!) Cleve-land rocks! (WRONG!)

4) Josh Beckett: man. That RF: ()#*$)(#*$#@*(#@(*)!!!

5) As much as I love watching the Rockies play right now, I cannot pick them to beat Boston. The thought of that RFer with a ring, though, sickens me. Boston in *puke* *gag* 7 games.

- Here are my Week 7 (Fantasy) Football Thoughts:

1) F**k you Heath Miller. F**k you Travis Henry. F**k you Chad Pennington + Jerricho Cotchery. Despite getting 33 points from Cincy RB Kenny Watson, I’m now 3-4 in the BargainShare league, riding an awesome three game losing streak! At least I won in my other three leagues, running my records to 2-5, 3-4, and 4-3.

At least I’m over .500 in one league @@. And I’m pretty sure there are a few Joseph Addai and Travis Henry owners that were screaming at their TVs this past weekend.

2) I guess the Colts can’t be called a “finesse” team any more, eh, especially after the drubbing of the Jags last night. Next week: Pats v Colts!!!

(Well, at least the media is acting like these two teams play each other next week. I wonder what Washington and Carolina think of the media coverage of that Nov. 4 tilt.)

3) Sage Rosenfels owners (all none of you) and Rod Bironas owners had to have been really really happy this past weekend. How the hell did the Titans give up 29 fourth quarter points to the Texans?!?!??!

4) Go Rams! Let’s go for 0-16! An NFL record + the #1 pick! W00t!

(Naturally, the Rams are going to break my heart, and actually win a game soon.)

5) Pats 7*-0. Colts 6-0. I’m surprised people aren’t calling the Pats better because they have a better record.

This leads me right into the final topic of today’s blog:

- I am be-freaking-yond sick and tired of hearing members of the media insist that the Pats are playing with such a big chip on their shoulders (I’m looking at you, Kornheiser). Yes, it’s clear that the Pats are in “screw you” mode after PatriotGate (Week 1 against the Jets); obviously this is their way of flipping the bird to the rest of the league for all the negative attention they’re getting. Vilify us, and watch us kick the asses of every team we play! Make us look like the bad guys, and now we’re going to play the rest of the season with a HUGE chip on our shoulders!

I gotta ask one thing, though…

*clears throat*

WHOSE FAULT IS IT THAT YOU GUYS ARE GETTING ALL THIS NEGATIVE ATTENTION???

(Hint: It’s your team’s fault, Patriots’ myopics.)

I know! It’s the fault of Eric Mangini, right? If he didn’t catch you guys cheating, you wouldn’t be acting this way, right? No, wait, it’s Roger Goodell’s fault, right? If he didn’t levy such a steep penalty on you guys for cheating, you wouldn’t be so angry. Or maybe he shouldn’t have made spying on your opponents via the use of technology illegal in the first place, right? Nah, it’s certainly because we’re jealous of all your successes. Yeah, that’s it!

(I’ll allow for everybody’s sarcasm-o-meters, New England myopics excepted, to cool off before I continue.)

And who knows how many of those Super Bowl wins were tainted? Can anybody, beyond a shadow of a doubt, tell me that the Patriots won three Super Bowls without even a tiny bit of assistance? Myopic New England fans might respond, “We’re so good that we don’t need to cheat!” If that’s true, THEN WHY DID YOU CHEAT AGAINST THE JETS???

Why do some kids copy other kids’ homework? Why do some kids try using crib sheets during exams? Why do some people not file taxes? Because they can? Because they enjoy it? Or because cheating gives them an advantage over other people?!?

By the way, if you Patriot fans think the rest of the country hates your team, you’re right! Do we hate you for your successes? Sure! However, I believe there are a number of other reasons to hate you guys:

1) Your arrogant coach who refuses to shake hands with former proteges, makes nothing-apologies after being caught cheating, and likes to ignore league memos reminding teams that video surveillance of your opposition is illegal.

2) Your pretty-boy QB who once uttered to the media that he “hates” all the attention he gets.

3) Randy Moss.

(Tangent: I think it was Keyshawn Johnson, on Monday, that said that some teams didn’t want Randy Moss.

WHAT

THE

F***???

Teams didn’t want him BECAUSE HE STOPPED GIVING A DAMN!!! He stopped trying! He gave up on routes! I’m surprised he didn’t go Vince Carter on his former teams and tell the other team what play his team was running!

W T F?)

4) The fact that you guys play the “We’re so unselfish” card as much as you do. If you’re so unselfish, why do you keep saying this? To selfishly gather more attention on your team?

The reason why you guys have this chip on your shoulders is YOUR OWN DOING! Don’t cheat, and nobody wants to label you the “NFL Yankees!” Tell your coach to stop looking like an arrogant ass, and nobody will liken him to Darth Vader! Most importantly, stop messing with football karma and the NFL Gods, and you will be rewarded in kind, because the way you guys are acting, I fully expect a full-blown meltdown to occur in the AFC Championship game.

I’m just about convinced that Belicheat got caught cheating intentionally, just to find a way to motivate his team. It’s the only logical explanation I can think of.

Until next time.

by Peter
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