The Office, Season 5 Episode 1 (Weight Loss) Running Synopsis (Full Review to Come Later!)
What could possibly cause me to offer nothing more than a passing thought about the Dodgers’ clinching of the NL West crown?
The return of The Office, naturally!
(WOOHOO!!!!!!)
Note: I missed the live airing of this episode, due to the exciting finish in the USC @ Oregon State game. Does that make me no longer a true fan?
Also, since I missed the live airing, I think I’ll do a running synopsis of the episode. Here goes!
- Ahhhhh…how I miss the theme song! Hearing it preceding a rerun just isn’t the same. And B.J. Novak is still being credited, eh?
- That cheese fountain looks damn tasty…
_ …not anymore, after Andy mentioned wanting “washboard abs” for when Angela sees him naked for the first time. *gag*
- Dwight: “Hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow.” Our first “That’s what she said” moment of the 08-09 season…except Michael didn’t say it???
(Tangent.)
- 2,336 lbs. with Pam on the scale…2,210 lbs. with Pam off it. The look on Pam’s face was priceless. And Kevin’s “You weigh 226 lbs.?” was damn funny. Yes, Kevin, math IS hard.
- Yoga, huh?
- Michael: “Did you see Holly’s butt?” It took three minutes to get to the first inappropriate comment of this episode??? The Office is losing it!
- OMG…Holly (is that her name?) is morphing into the female Michael Scott as we speak!!!
(Tangent: I’m always leery of new characters being added to an already awesome show.
(Sub-tangent: Remember the episode of The Simpsons where they teased a new character being on the show?)
So far, it worked with Karen, and who can argue that it’s not working with Andy? However, I’m not sold on Holly yet…)
- Pam will be gone for three months, huh?
(checks calendar…September…October…November…December…I smell a midseason cliffhanger!)
(EDIT: Duh…stupid me. This episode is chronicling everything that happened from June to September.
(checks calendar…June…July…August…September.)
Clever, writers!)
- Dwight: “We done good in there, half-pint.” Oh boy…and Angela’s “I have a fiancé I very much like” was VERY convincing. Uh-huh.
- Is it evil to have wished for Pam to accidentally run over Michael in the parking lot?
(I thought so.)
- Jim: “…and Pam’s always said she doesn’t want a long engagement. Something in her past, I guess…something about a guy that used to work here.” What could he be talking about?
- WTF happened to Meredith’s face???
- Jim: “…Michael is actually killing it with Holly, and I think I know why! It’s because Holly is kind of a major dork.” Understatement of the season, so far. And no, that rap did nothing to influence my opinion of her.
- Jim: “I don’t really know Ronnie (sp?), but I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years, and eventually declare my love for her.” Who didn’t see that coming?
- LOL @ Kelly Kapour. “I look a-MA-zing!”
- Jim: “When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe that he was the father…by telling us that he was the father.” I’m ten minutes into this episode, and I don’t recall Jim ever having this many talking heads in one episode!
- Holly: “He is not an idiot! He is mentally challenged!” Literally one second before Holly opened her mouth, I found myself asking, “How much longer are the writers going to play the ‘Holly thinks Kevin is challenged’ storyline?” And Holly even runs with her tail between her legs like Michael! They’re perfect for each other!
- Andy just reached the point of desperation…about the same time I admitted that I have an addiction to beef jerky: years ago. FOUR non-refundable deposits???
- Dwight: “Can you turn the girl off?” I’m not sure if that wasn’t the most unintentionally funny line in Office history, or if it was delivered at face value.
Watching Michael parade around with “Pam,” followed by the talking head, almost made me spit Propel all over my monitor. “Can you give me back to Jim now, please?” LMFAO!!!
- So Phyllis is now the head of the Party Planning Committee? What a way to blackmail Angela!
- Michael: “What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went…I once went 28 years without having sex, and then again for seven years.” The writers should have had Michael say he went 40 years without having sex…
And what’s with the mustache?
- Jim grabbing Dwight’s shoulders twice…now THAT was AWK-WARD!
- Pam Beesly, Resident Advisor?
- Wow, Michael is taking the news that Holly is dating well. And I wonder how many takes it took to get the scene where Dwight ruined Michael’s suit right.
- Gee, it looks like Creed has had practice using a scale and a credit card before.
- Holly: “If we stay fat long enough, we might get a whole month off.” LOL.
- Creed, after a long-winded talking head about Kelly swallowing a tapeworm: “That wasn’t a tapeworm.”
- Oh look, the temp is back…as the receptionist??? And Michael hired him through the temp agency again??? AND he grew the mustache because of Ryan’s???
Horribly cheesy, and ridiculously funny!!! Oh how I’ve missed you, Office.
(FIRE…D guy? WTF!!! :P)
- Ryan: “I’m keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me, so when I’m back on top, they’ll be sorry.” Hmmmm…I wonder who Ryan put on the top of that list.
- Michael: “You know my seduction method…I like to get in there and get my hands dirty!”
- Ewwwwwwww @ the food rotting in the vending machine.
(And an even bigger “Ewwwwwwwww” at Kelly and Darryl making out near Ryan.)
- Of course…Pam is getting smitten by another guy. Who didn’t see that coming?
(One of the real concerns I have with this season of The Office is how the writers are going to handle the Jim-Pam relationship. As integral to the entire series as their relationship is, how much longer can the writers drag out this storyline?)
- Poor Phyllis. Michael: “Dwight, I would like you to apologize to this beautiful, beautiful woman for forcing her to walk five miles, which, for her, is basically a death march.”
- Phyllis: “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.” It’s a damn good thing I didn’t watch this episode live!
- Dwight: “I’m gonna write you both up for not working.” Jim: “I’m gonna write YOU up for not working.” I wonder who the #2 in the office is…
(Receptionitis15? And why is there a shortcut to PokerStars on Jim’s computer? I wonder if he plays there in real life.)
- ASCII art of Dwight? Oh my.
- Andy: “Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them, or he quits them, because they’re unfair.”
- So every locale he booked didn’t phase him. Every objection Angela had didn’t affect him. But rejecting Andy’s old a capella group is a “deal breaker?”
- Totally random weight-”loss” thoughts: 1) I wonder if weighing sans clothes is legal. 2) What, no laxatives or ipecac? 3) I wonder how much weight Dwight and Angela have lost just from sexing each other up.
- HE PICKED A MINI-MART TO PROPOSE TO HER??? WHAT THE HELL???
- Michael Scott is an idiot. Oh wait…we already knew that. However, he totally redeemed himself with that cheap “You guys are all gigantic losers!”
(I wonder how much rain Jim collected on his clothes, and how much that affected the total weight loss of the group.)
- Hey, Toby.
Best premiere of the five seasons? Nah. Damn funny? Of course.
Full review next time.
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