A 168 Supermarket Freak Injury, Fresh Trout For Dinner, And Why The Diva Favre Saga Will Now Come to an End…For This Season, Anyway
I had no intention of blogging today, but something happened today that got my juices flowing.
One quick-hitter:
- Man-Ram’s line today: 4 for 5, HR, 2 R, 3 RBI, and a triple away from the cycle.
I’m just sayin’.
(Jason Bay’s doing incredibly well too, and I heard Andy LaRoche hit a HR today. Talk about a great three-way deal!)
- I am NEVER, EVER AGAIN stepping foot in 168 Supermarket…EVER EVER AGAIN.
No, I did not get my ankle snapped by a shopping cart. In fact, I wish that my ankle was what was injured!
While in the shopping cart autobahn that is the produce section of 168 Supermarket, I was standing in front of my cart, putting away a few bags of stuff that I had just picked up. That’s when some idiot rammed his cart into my cart, ramming my cart into…well…you know where.
(That sound you hear is the sound of fellow UngsungBlog male readers—all none of you—keeling over.)
(Tangent: You know how Jackie Chan and other martial arts protagonists always get caught in out-numbered fight scenes? Why doesn’t the protagonist just kick one of the guys in the balls? If he were to do so, the other guys would just keel over in sympathy pain as well, no? Then again, maybe our protagonist would keel over too.)
Worse, the guilty party gave me the death stare as he passed by my bent-over self, as if I had done something wrong! If ever there were a situation where punching someone right in the g*ddamn face should be legal, that would be it!
(As an aside…I actually had to admit that my mom was right about something today. That might have hurt more than the physical injury I suffered!)
- My aunt and cousin went fishing this morning around Mt. Baldy, and they brought back some fresh trout!
I wanted to steam it with some slices of lemon and some fresh herbs, but we had neither, so I went with a bit of melted butter, kosher salt, and a bottle of “Italian seasoning.” A few minutes in my mom’s Flavor Wave oven later, and dinner was served!
Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve ever eaten freshly-caught fish. At least, this was the first time I’ve knowingly eaten freshly-caught fish. Good stuff, and at $10/fish, it wasn’t terribly expensive either.
- I had a really difficult time navigating through sports web sites today, because of all the pictures of a grinning Diva Favre all over the place!
Later on today, we got to see a beaming Diva Favre as he walked from his just-landed charter jet into an SUV waiting for him. If the pictures of his face on those web sites were vomit-inducing, that shot of him walking towards the car could have been a biological weapon of mass destruction.
And who the hell were these people that greeted Favre off the runway? You people reminded me of the numbskulls standing outside the court house when Wacko Jacko’s “Not Guilty” verdict was announced, screaming at the top of your lungs when it happened. Are you myopians that blinded by his stature that you will let him jerk around with your emotions for THREE STRAIGHT YEARS? What the hell are you guys going to do next year, if (when?) he performs Act IV of “As Brett Favre’s World Turns?” Carry him on your shoulders from the airport to Lambeau Field? Tattoo the number “4″ on to all your chests?
Speaking of divas, if I hear just ONE interview with Deanna Favre, asking her about her tribulations during this offseason with her husband, I might just stab my eyes and ears out.
(ETA: Week 1 v. Minnesota…Michele Tafoya, get ready.)
Also, to make Aaron Rodgers’ life even more miserable, apparently the Packers are going to have an open competition for the Packers’ now-vacant QB job.
(clears throat…)
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO “Aaron Rodgers is our quarterback??????????????”
Seriously, Packers, please release the guy. Either that, or give him a gun to shoot himself in the face with. Let’s face it; despite all of the pageantry and drama surrounding Diva Favre, he is clearly the better quarterback, and Rodgers has almost no chance of beating out Favre for the starting QB job! Did Aaron Rodgers sleep with the wife of a high-ranking Packers’ official?
Check out this gem:
“Although we built this year around the assumption that Brett meant what he said about retiring, Brett is coming back,” team president and CEO Mark Murphy said. “We will welcome him back and turn this situation to our advantage.”
Are you kidding me? You had to ASSUME that Brett meant it when he said he was retiring? The tears, the hesitations…all that was just an act, wasn’t it, Diva Favre?
Please, Green Bay brass, trade Aaron Rodgers for a fifth- or sixth- round pick. Otherwise, you guys are guilty of first-degree murder…of a career that never had a chance to take off.
Any time you can make T.O. look like a model citizen, you know you’re screwing up somewhere. Diva Favre, you’re making Adam “PacMan” Jones look pretty good right about now. Last year, I couldn’t watch SportsCenter because of all the butt-kissing of the New England Patriots. This year, I won’t be able to watch because of all the coverage the Favre is going to get.
Congratulations, Brett Favre. You have now surpassed Tom Brady as the most obnoxious player that I hated first out of professional jealousy, and then later hated because for being an idiot.
And I mean this last part with absolute sincerity:
Brett Favre, F**K YOU. Stay the f**k off my television next year! I will NOT watch a single game you play in next season, even if the final game you play happens to be the Super Bowl. Please, I beg of you to throw three back-breaking picks late in a game, and then throw your teammates and the entire Packers organization under the bus. THAT, I would tune in to.
(He’s already getting the double-middle-finger salute from my sister, and she used to be a HUGE Brett Favre fan. And trust me, she’s cursing him out 10x worse than I am.)
your poor pee pee!
[…] - So I know I said I was done with the whole Diva Favre situation. I know I said that the whole saga was probably coming to an end. […]