J.R. Smith, Meet DeShawn Stevenson; Mom’s Birthday Lunch; And The Office, Episode 11 Review (”Night Out”)
Quick-hitters:
- In an effort to do more family-related things, my aunt wanted all of us to hang out and do something “fun” sometime this upcoming weekend.
When my sister and I got back home on Sunday night, I asked her if we were going to take up our aunt’s offer. She said that we were not going back next weekend under any circumstances.
Today, she found out that our four-year-old nephew will be in town this weekend. I guess we’ll be back in MPK sooner than I thought :P.
- I’ve been told that my blog is awfully negative in nature, so here’s something positive to report. On the way from the parking lot to Dodger Stadium, I grabbed my wallet to pull out my ID and credit card—I ordered tickets for Will Call—and I guess I left a $20 in my pocket, because the bill hung out of the pocket, flapping in the wind.
If it weren’t for the woman and girl who yelled “Sir, you have money coming out of your pocket!” I would probably have lost the bill seconds later, possibly into the hands of the guy who yelled “Why did you tell him? I would have caught it!”
- Quick Lakers thought: raise your hand if you thought Kobe wasn’t going to go off in Game 2.
That’s what I thought.
BTW, reports had it that J.R. Smith was unhappy with the way Kobe was taunting Denver, posing his fingers in the shape of a gun and flashing that to TNT analyst Reggie Miller. Apparently J.R. Smith chewed Kobe out for it, and Kobe responded with ” ‘Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard’s gonna fall out,’ ” before responding on the court with a drive right at Smith for a layup-and-one.
First of all, why was J.R. Smith the one chewing Kobe out for his taunting? Where were Carmelo or A.I.? Second, if he was going to chew out Kobe, he had to have expected Kobe to destroy him the next time down the court, right? Third, Kobe had been able to drive through the lane all day! Where was another Nugget to help out on Smith, knowing that Kobe was going right down his throat on the next play?
Why do I see this series going only four games?
- So it was my mom’s birthday this past Tuesday, and I thought we were planning a dinner for the weekend of the 26th. That’s when my older sister told me that my mom demanded that we have her birthday dinner on the weekend before her birthday. This demand came on the 17th, giving us three days max to plan something.
Having none of that, my older sister exclaimed “Lunch. Saturday. Golden Gate (?) buffet.” My other sister and I each made a single phone call, expecting the invitations to osmose down to other family members.
(That’s how we roll.)
The guest list gradually increased, even though several people got their unofficial invites an hour before lunch. The food was pretty average, especially for a Chinese buffet. I started out with the sushi, and that was a huge mistake. The wasabi was about as runny as ketchup.
One item that piqued everyone’s interest was a seafood dish called “Assorted Delicacies on Crab Shell.” Calling something a “delicacy” without naming it is bad enough. “Assorted delicacies,” and you’ve gotta be thinking “cat food.” Now, I’ve never tried cat food before, but that stuff tasted like what cat food would taste like.
They also had cream cheese wontons, which tasted super sweet. Absolutely disgusting. The most popular food that we gorged upon was the Korean BBQ spare ribs, and the meat looked like it was boiled, not grilled.
(Actually, I take that back. The ice cream was the best part of the meal, by far.)
(Tangent: If there’s one thing I love about doing stuff with family, it’s the pop culture discussions we have.
BTW, when I say pop culture, I mean The Office.)
- Tonight’s Office episode was, by a mile, a lot better than last week’s episode. While the main storyline, understandably so, involved Michael’s continued search for a girl, we got to see practically every member of the cast contribute to the episode. From Kelly continuing to harbor hard feelings for Ryan, to drunken (drugged, right? Massive nuclear holocaust? Jungle warfare? Sure, Troy has a drug problem. Right…) Ryan partying at the club, to Toby literally running off to Costa Rica after grabbing Pam’s knee (AWK-WARD…), I laughed nearly every minute. I especially loved how Michael became super-protective of Ryan, especially in the scene at the bar.
I loved how another one of Jim’s bright ideas—staying late so that the crew wouldn’t have to come in on Saturday to fix Ryan’s mess—blew up in his face. Between this, the one birthday party for all, and other events that aren’t coming to me at the moment, clearly the Scranton office needs Michael to run things. By the way, I wonder if the writers are going to develop a story based on the tension between Jim and Ryan; are we supposed to believe that Ryan didn’t mean anything when he said “Watch your back, Jim?” Ryan better watch his back; perhaps the stress of the failing Dunder Mifflin Infinity (two-point-0!) project is weighing on him. Is his job at risk? Is corporate already regretting their decision to hire him?
It was hilarious to watch the rest of the office pile on Jim for not notifying the security guard—(paraphrasing) Eddie, Evan, Hank, Edgar, Elliott…is it Elliott? The guy who sits behind the desk…the African-American guy…!—but what did Pam do to get the scorn of the office as well…well, other than doinking a football off Meredith’s face? Speaking of Meredith, what’s next for her? Is she going to get shot next?
Speaking of Pam, poor Toby! Clearly the guy still has feelings for her. I hope this isn’t the end of the Toby character; if it is, giving him more lines than normal is a nice way to go out. “‘Everyone, let’s get your boss laid Saturday’”? . And how sad is it that Andy and Angela are the favorite couple in the office?
By the way, why the hell does Dwight have the keys to the office, and not Michael’s #2 (Jim)? And did anyone notice that the girl Michael was chatting with kinda looked like Jan as well?
So, Michael’s gotta end up with Jan in the future, right? Why else would he constantly be running into people that look like Jan? Maybe the next time they meet up, she’ll have a face lift as well, not that I’m saying Melora Hardin needs a face lift. And when did Dwight become such a playa?
Favorite moments:
- Did anyone think that Dwight used a bit too much peanut butter to get the gum out of Michael’s hair?
- Michael: “Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an art-y photograph of Cindy Crawford nude…[the persons Michael have dated] just lack a certain Crawford-ness.” (Does it surprise anyone that he couldn’t name a single artist?)
- Ryan: “Yes. I’m having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday to re-enter sales that they made on the phone as sales made by the website, which they should have done in the first place…if the website had been working.” (I love Ryan’s character.)
- Ryan: “Yes. The social networking feature of the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.” LOL! WTF does a paper company need with a social networking site?
- Michael: “It’s not the horniess, ok? It’s the loneliness.” I might have just found a new subtitle for my blog
- Andy: “I am in SERIOUS need of some bro time! Ol’ ball-and-chain has been a lot more chain than ball lately, if you know what I’m saying.” Right in front of Dwight and Angela, no less!
- Michael: “I am going to get laid. Goodbye!” followed by Dwight: “With sex!” HAHAHAHA!
- Andy: “Show of hands. Who thinks we’re a better couple than Jim and Pam?” The cameras should have panned on a grinning Angela.
- Dwight referring to the basketball team as “Amazons” followed by Dwight’s idea of pairing up two girls to a guy to get in to the club (how did Dwight learn all this stuff while running a beet farm?)
- The collective groan of the office when they receive Michael’s cell phone video of Dwight making out.
- Michael: “I’ve asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom…” WTF?
- Jim: “Cleaning people…Oscar! OK…so all you need to do is explain to them what happened because I think they can help us.” Oscar: “Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish?” followed by the exchange between Oscar and the cleaning ladies, ending with Oscar saying “they happen to speak Spanish.” Way to straddle the line of racism, writers :P.
- Michael’s advice for Ryan’s “friend” with the drug problem. I really need to start watching The Wire…I hear it’s great.