UBMe, Quick MLB Thoughts, And My (Fantasy) Football Week 7 Thoughts, And The Pats Play With A Chip (of Logic) On Their Shoulders
First of all, prayers go out to everybody affected by the fires here in SoCal, especially those in San Diego County. What’s going on here is eerily reminiscent of the fires of 2003–I was a UCSD student at the time, and one of the fires was burning no more than ten miles south of where we were. I remember waking up that Sunday morning, wondering why I could see bright orange rays of light coming from my window. Although I had a midterm that Tuesday–it was subsequently postponed by a week, as the campus was closed for a couple of days–I remember doing nothing but playing video games all day, just to get my mind off the fires.
When the campus re-opened, I returned to my volunteer position at the Preuss School (a charter school adjacent to UCSD) and I made it a point to ask the students how their families were doing, fully aware that most of the kids lived in areas affected by the fires. Talk about a humbling experience; it made my whining on Sunday look awfully pathetic by comparison.
I noticed that the winds have died down here significantly; hopefully that helps the firefighters out there in controlling these blazes. And as far as the arsonists that caused a couple of these fires are concerned, I think we should use those fire-fighting planes, pick them up by their legs, and drop them head-first into the Pacific Ocean…or an active volcano.
Let’s get on with it.
Quick-hitters:
- Current rebate-o-meter: $3300. That total includes the $150 or so I got in the past few days. Sigh…
- I can’t wait for Halloween!
Well, I can’t wait for the day after Halloween, when Halloween candy is clearanced :D.
- Somebody please remind me to watch the World Series with my TV muted. Between Tim McCarver, John Mellencamp, AT&T (’tis a shame they dumped the name “Cingular”; I can’t call them Crapular any more.), and that XBox 360 commercial with the kids absolutely f**king up Poison’s “Nothin’ But A Good Time,” I’m this close to buying a TiVo.
More on baseball later.
- In an effort to make my blog a bit more interactive, I am introducing a new feature here: UBMe! Every now and then, I will blog about an interesting event that happened to me, and let my loyal readers (all none of you) decide what they would do in my shoes.
(Please refrain from posting your “Create Your Own Adventures was so 1980s!” comments).
Yes, you loyal readers can now advise me on how I should have handled a particular mind-numbing situation!
Presenting UBMe #1:
You’re sitting in front of your computer, enjoying your tasty ham-and-cheese sandwich (the meal of champions!), when all of a sudden, someone pounds on your door.
You open the door, and see a teenage girl holding a box of candy. Nothing special about the candy; it looks like something that you could buy from Costco. The girl, without any introduction, asks “Would you like to buy some candy for one dollar?”
You immediately identify this as a fundraiser, and ask the girl to wait while you go fetch your wallet. When you find your wallet, you open up the currency compartment…to find nothing but receipts!
Knowing that you’re going to disappoint the girl, you go back to the door and tell her that you don’t have even a single dollar in your wallet. The girl then tells you, “Well, can you look around your house for a dollar?”
If you decide to slam the door in her face, you’re either really really mean, or really really smart. If you decide to politely tell her again that you don’t have a buck, go on.
You decide to tell her, even more politely, that you just don’t have a buck with you. After the girl pleads for you to find a freaking dollar, you show her your wallet, empty the contents, and give the wallet a shake, in an effort to prove that you don’t have any money in your wallet!
To your amazement, two quarters drop out of your wallet and roll away. The girl, giving you the “you dirty liar!” look, points out, “Look! You have money! Can’t you look around your house for more?”
If you decide to slam the door in her face, you’re a heck of a lot smarter than I am. If you decide to politely ask her to come back later (when, hopefully, you actually have a buck in your wallet), read on.
For some really dumb reason, you ask her to come back later tonight. The girl, obviously disappointed, tells you that she can’t, but she would like to come back tomorrow. You say sure. She responds, “And you’ll have a dollar then, right?”
If you decide to slam the door in her face, you’re just being human. If you say “OK, I’ll see you tomorrow,” go back to the beginning.
Wasn’t that fun?
- Here are my super-quick MLB/World Series thoughts
1) The sight of [that Boston RF that I refuse to name] hitting that clutch grand-slam was absolutely nauseating. I’d rather see 1,000 Chevy/John Mellencamp commercials end-to-end than to see that replay one time.
2) Stat that summed up the Boston-Cleveland ALCS: touted pitchers C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona combined to win ZERO games in the series.
3) Cleveland rocks! (Nope!) Cleveland rocks! (Nope!!!) Cleveland rocks! (Wrong!) Cleve-land rocks! (WRONG!)
4) Josh Beckett: man. That RF: ()#*$)(#*$#@*(#@(*)!!!
5) As much as I love watching the Rockies play right now, I cannot pick them to beat Boston. The thought of that RFer with a ring, though, sickens me. Boston in *puke* *gag* 7 games.
- Here are my Week 7 (Fantasy) Football Thoughts:
1) F**k you Heath Miller. F**k you Travis Henry. F**k you Chad Pennington + Jerricho Cotchery. Despite getting 33 points from Cincy RB Kenny Watson, I’m now 3-4 in the BargainShare league, riding an awesome three game losing streak! At least I won in my other three leagues, running my records to 2-5, 3-4, and 4-3.
At least I’m over .500 in one league @@. And I’m pretty sure there are a few Joseph Addai and Travis Henry owners that were screaming at their TVs this past weekend.
2) I guess the Colts can’t be called a “finesse” team any more, eh, especially after the drubbing of the Jags last night. Next week: Pats v Colts!!!
(Well, at least the media is acting like these two teams play each other next week. I wonder what Washington and Carolina think of the media coverage of that Nov. 4 tilt.)
3) Sage Rosenfels owners (all none of you) and Rod Bironas owners had to have been really really happy this past weekend. How the hell did the Titans give up 29 fourth quarter points to the Texans?!?!??!
4) Go Rams! Let’s go for 0-16! An NFL record + the #1 pick! W00t!
(Naturally, the Rams are going to break my heart, and actually win a game soon.)
5) Pats 7*-0. Colts 6-0. I’m surprised people aren’t calling the Pats better because they have a better record.
This leads me right into the final topic of today’s blog:
- I am be-freaking-yond sick and tired of hearing members of the media insist that the Pats are playing with such a big chip on their shoulders (I’m looking at you, Kornheiser). Yes, it’s clear that the Pats are in “screw you” mode after PatriotGate (Week 1 against the Jets); obviously this is their way of flipping the bird to the rest of the league for all the negative attention they’re getting. Vilify us, and watch us kick the asses of every team we play! Make us look like the bad guys, and now we’re going to play the rest of the season with a HUGE chip on our shoulders!
I gotta ask one thing, though…
*clears throat*
WHOSE FAULT IS IT THAT YOU GUYS ARE GETTING ALL THIS NEGATIVE ATTENTION???
(Hint: It’s your team’s fault, Patriots’ myopics.)
I know! It’s the fault of Eric Mangini, right? If he didn’t catch you guys cheating, you wouldn’t be acting this way, right? No, wait, it’s Roger Goodell’s fault, right? If he didn’t levy such a steep penalty on you guys for cheating, you wouldn’t be so angry. Or maybe he shouldn’t have made spying on your opponents via the use of technology illegal in the first place, right? Nah, it’s certainly because we’re jealous of all your successes. Yeah, that’s it!
(I’ll allow for everybody’s sarcasm-o-meters, New England myopics excepted, to cool off before I continue.)
And who knows how many of those Super Bowl wins were tainted? Can anybody, beyond a shadow of a doubt, tell me that the Patriots won three Super Bowls without even a tiny bit of assistance? Myopic New England fans might respond, “We’re so good that we don’t need to cheat!” If that’s true, THEN WHY DID YOU CHEAT AGAINST THE JETS???
Why do some kids copy other kids’ homework? Why do some kids try using crib sheets during exams? Why do some people not file taxes? Because they can? Because they enjoy it? Or because cheating gives them an advantage over other people?!?
By the way, if you Patriot fans think the rest of the country hates your team, you’re right! Do we hate you for your successes? Sure! However, I believe there are a number of other reasons to hate you guys:
1) Your arrogant coach who refuses to shake hands with former proteges, makes nothing-apologies after being caught cheating, and likes to ignore league memos reminding teams that video surveillance of your opposition is illegal.
2) Your pretty-boy QB who once uttered to the media that he “hates” all the attention he gets.
3) Randy Moss.
(Tangent: I think it was Keyshawn Johnson, on Monday, that said that some teams didn’t want Randy Moss.
WHAT
THE
F***???
Teams didn’t want him BECAUSE HE STOPPED GIVING A DAMN!!! He stopped trying! He gave up on routes! I’m surprised he didn’t go Vince Carter on his former teams and tell the other team what play his team was running!
W T F?)
4) The fact that you guys play the “We’re so unselfish” card as much as you do. If you’re so unselfish, why do you keep saying this? To selfishly gather more attention on your team?
The reason why you guys have this chip on your shoulders is YOUR OWN DOING! Don’t cheat, and nobody wants to label you the “NFL Yankees!” Tell your coach to stop looking like an arrogant ass, and nobody will liken him to Darth Vader! Most importantly, stop messing with football karma and the NFL Gods, and you will be rewarded in kind, because the way you guys are acting, I fully expect a full-blown meltdown to occur in the AFC Championship game.
I’m just about convinced that Belicheat got caught cheating intentionally, just to find a way to motivate his team. It’s the only logical explanation I can think of.
Until next time.