UngsungBlog: A (Fantasy) Sports Blog

Sorry, no Office review tonight! I really didn’t expect the Spurs-Hornets game to be THAT entertaining!

Quick-hitters:

- Does anybody own a Treo 700 series, specifically the 755p? My sister’s 755p is in a never-ending reboot loop, no matter how many times I soft- or hard-reset the damn thing. What the hell is causing this, and how the hell do you fix it?

The last I heard, she took the PDA to the Sprint store. Hopefully Sprint stores are not as clueless as their phone reps can be.

- Best Buy sent me this email earlier today:

Dear Peter,

In an ongoing effort to improve our services, we’d like to hear about your experience of having BestBuy.com products shipped. Please click the button below to fill out a brief survey about your recent purchase on 05/01/2008, including [items purchased]. It should only take a few minutes.

Thanks for helping BestBuy.com serve you better!

Usually, I have zero desire to fill out these surveys. However, in this case, I have less than zero desire to fill out this survey. You see, this order is currently on backorder!

Nice job, Best Buy!

- I get a balance transfer (BT) offer from either Chase or Citibank (boooooooo!) practically every day.

(Who doesn’t?)

Normally, these checks find their way immediately into my shredder. Most of the time, I get BT checks on my lowest-limit credit cards—$1,200 and $2,000—or on my primary credit card. If I’m going to take out a BT, I’m not going to “waste” my time on a small balance like $1,000, nor am I going to take out a big BT on a credit card that I use everyday. (Why? So I can pay 12% on my purchase balance?)

Today, though, I found a very interesting offer in the mail from Chase on my second-highest limit card, on which I already have a low-interest (3.99% for life) BT. I’ve received BT checks on this account before, but usually the offers range from weak—4.99% for life—to pathetic—1.9% for six months, and then the purchase APR applies. However, I got two different offers today:

• 0% until 2/09 (yawn)
• 2.99% fixed for life

2.99% for life? Considering that the existing BT on the card is at 3.99%, it would be reasonable to expect future offers to have a higher interest rate, especially when you consider that payments apply to balances with lower interest rates first.

I wonder what my credit score is if I’m being offered a 2.99% balance transfer rate. I know people with good-to-excellent credit card scores that are offered 3.99% rates for life.

- (from Consumerist…just spotted a minute or so ago, that is) I normally don’t shop at Walgreens, usually because CVS deal hunting takes up most of my time as it is :P. However, if one of my local Walgreens pulled crap like this, I’d boycott all the Walgreens in the area for sure.

Cliffs: woman falls into diabetic coma near the checkout register, two nurses and an officer nearby administer OJ and sugar, someone pulls a glucometer off the shelf, woman is rushed to hospital, manager runs out in a hissy fit and demands that somebody pay for all the items.

Seriously? Mr. Manager got pissed off over the loss of an EIGHTEEN DOLLAR GLUCOMETER, as well as some OJ and sugar? From the way he acted (according to the nurse and officer), they used his Gluco-tech 5000 series Professional Blood Glucose counter (accurate to 0.0001%!), went to the appliance section, grabbed a high-end juicer, stole an orange that the manager was saving for a snack, juiced the orange, and gave the patient the juice.

Walgreens’ statement was priceless:

“We’re sorry for the misunderstanding. The store manager didn’t arrive on the sales floor until after the paramedics have left, so he didn’t realize a medical emergency had taken place.”

So the two frantic nurses, the officer, the missing glucometer, and the sirens in the distance, not to mention the obvious commotion in the store, weren’t enough of a clue that a medical emergency had taken place? Not to mention, I think a “misunderstanding” is a slight understatement. At least Walgreens was nice enough to offer a refund on the glucometer…

Question: if the store manager insisted that the accounts of the nurse and officer were wrong, why did he not attempt to explain what really happened?

I hate to imagine what would have happened if the woman had bled on the carpet. Would the manager have demanded compensation for the carpet shampooer he would have needed to clean up the stains?

- Quickly…

It’s about time the Spurs’ Big 3 finally showed up for a game in this series. For three quarters, it sure looked like the Hornets were well on their way to a monumental sweep. I still think the Hornets will win this series, and I like their chances in Game 4. Manu’s got a bum ankle, and Duncan hasn’t been nearly as effective as he has in years past. If the Hornets find a way to slow down Tony Parker, the Spurs are cooked.

For the first time all series, we saw the fluidity that the Spurs offense possesses at times: quick passes down low to Duncan, forcing the double team, followed by several passes to open shooters or cutters. And was that a Michael Finley sighting?

For years, the Spurs were called “boring” and “unwatchable,” but I became a passive fan of the team.

(I know, I know. BLASPHEMY! And BLAS-for-you! BLAS-for everybody in the world…)

I just loved how professional the team was—a Robert Horry hip check notwithstanding—and I became quickly impressed by how easily they were able to reload their teams to contend for championships each year. Of course, it helps to be able to build around a cornerstone like Duncan. As far as their boring offense is concerned, sure, running their offense through Duncan could be considered boring, but it was damn effective, was it not? And now that Tony Parker has flipped the switch and is utterly dominating games with his speed and ridiculous finishing ability, how can anyone call this team “boring” any more? Who wouldn’t like Parker v. Paul to go a full seven games?

As far as the other game tonight is concerned, how about them Cavs and the greatest player in the history of the NBA? Is it bad Cavs offense, or excellent Celtics defense? I refuse to say a little of both, and I’m giving credit where credit is due: to the Celtics’ defense. I know that the C’s had a highly rated defense, but after watching bits and pieces of these two games against the Cavs, I know see why. It’s not that LeBron’s settling for jumpers; it’s that LeBron has no choice but to take jumpers!

Should the Cavs lose this series (I actually had them winning in six, and would now like a mulligan :P), we can’t pin this one on LeBron. Cavs fans can start blaming the Celtics’ D, and I hope this doesn’t cost Cavs’ coach Mike Brown his job.

Until next time!

Tags: Cust. Service, Deals, Sports // Add Comment »

Quick-hitters:

- OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! Eddie Izzard is going to be at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood from Thursday to Saturday, Aug 7-9!

MUST…GET…TIX!

The new show is called “Stripped,” for the record.

- I made some instant udon noodles for dinner tonight, and the cooking instructions said to boil 19 1/2 fl oz. of water (17.5 fl oz. if I chose to cook the noodles in the microwave).

19.5 fl oz? They couldn’t round it up to 2 1/2 cups? Too bad I don’t have a graduated cylinder. And what’s with directing me to cook the noodles for 5 minutes? Four minutes and 48 seconds would have been perfect.

- I forgot to mention one incident that happened during the Mets-Dodgers game last night. A woman wearing a Mets jersey was leaving the stadium, but not before getting into a mini-argument with a bunch of Dodger fans sitting a few rows in front of us. As soon as that happened, a bunch of Dodger fans started mercilessly booing her.

She turned around, and started speaking what could barely be considered English. I was able to make out something about “you” (Dodger fans, presumably) winning twice in “like a hundred years” while “we” (Mets fans) have won “so many” times.

If memory serves me correctly, the Los Angeles Dodgers have won two championships in their non-Brooklyn existence, and the Mets have won exactly twice as well. Now, if the woman is going to bandwagon and include the Yankees into that discussion, then I guess she has a point. Then again, including Yankees’ championships as a Mets fan is like being a Clipper fan celebrating Lakers’ championships.

I couldn’t help but join in on the heckling, shouting “Remember September of last year?” (in reference to the Mets’ late season collapse last year that cost them the NL East).

- I never did get around to commenting about the disputed shot in the third quarter of Game 2 between Orlando and Detroit, so I’ll let the guys over at Imaginary Hardwood explain why the disputed shot—a terrible mistake by the refs and clock operator, for the record—wasn’t the only reason for Orlando’s 2-0 deficit.

I’ll add this to the discussion, though: why couldn’t the refs start the entire play over again? Reset the clock, and make Detroit bring the ball back up court? What is wrong with that? And I don’t want to hear the nonsense that the refs “knew” that 4.6 seconds (or whatever it was) elapsed from inbounds to shot, thus allowing the basket to stand. Yeah, I’m so sure the refs knew that 4.6, and not 4.5 or 4.7 seconds, ran off the clock. I would have respected their opinion, as wrong as it ended up being, if they had said that five seconds ran off the clock.

ESPN’s TMQ has ranted about tenths of seconds often, and I wholeheartedly agree. Sure, without tenths of seconds, Laker fans might not have Derek Fisher’s “0.4″ shot, but with the proposal I will offer below, he might have had “more” time to take that shot.

I propose that the NBA should get rid of the clock readings of tenths of seconds. If they insist on having fractions of seconds, why not use half-seconds instead?

(Try this exercise: randomly start and stop a stopwatch, and guess how much time elapsed for five trials of varying durations, to the nearest tenth. Now, repeat the trial, and see how many you can get to the nearest half-second. I tried it just right now, and scored 1/5 on the first test; 3/5 on the second test. Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that one is probably going to score better on the second test.)

Wouldn’t identifying “five and a half seconds” make a lot more sense than trying to determine if 5.3 or 5.4 seconds ran off the clock instead?

- Despite getting out to a big double-digit lead early, and keeping it for most of the game, I still saw a lot of chinks in the Lakers’ armor after their Game 2 win over Utah. Deron Williams was an absolute beast in the third quarter, and Paul Millsap might be the key to Utah evening the series in the next two games. I could’ve sworn that every basket Millsap scored was an and-1. If Carlos Boozer and Andrei Kirilenko were able to give the Jazz anything decent in the first two games, this series could easily be 1-1 or 2-0, Utah.

Fisher was huge, Gasol was solid—and I think the Lakers need to establish him more often—and Odom was great. Even still, the third-quarter stretch where both teams were scoring on practically every possession has to be worrisome to the Lakers; you better believe that the Jazz will get stops in Utah. I don’t expect the Lakers to shoot 57% in either Games 3 or 4.

I missed most of the bore-fest that was Detroit-Orlando, but hopefully Chauncey Billups is able to play Game 4. If he’s not, Detroit is going to be in for one heck of a series.

Until next time!

Tags: Food, Random, Sports // 1 Comment »

Quick-hitters:

- Cavs v. Celtics thoughts: I missed the game completely (more on that later), but I was astonished to find that “King” James only went 2-for-18. As soon as I heard that, I assumed that he had to have been fouled several times w/o getting calls.

Apparently that was not the case. “King” James will have to wait another game to earn his moniker.

- I picked myself up a Linksys WRT54GS from Staples for ~ $5 after some FAR items and a $20/100 coupon. Now I gotta decide whether or not I want to hack and flash it with some third party firmware, or just use the stock firmware.

One key deciding point: this router is for use at my parents’ place, not here. I’ll probably just leave it as-is :P.

- Current rebate-o-meter: $1450. I got a ton of rebates in the past week or so—about $300 worth of Symantec Rebate debit cards alone!

I know have over $400 in unspent Amazon.com gift certificates.

(Every time I receive a Symantec Rebate debit card, I immediately convert it to an Amazon.com GC, which I add to my Amazon.com buyer account.)

- Sprint’s customer service is awesome. Don’t believe me? Read on!

Back in January, I extended my contract in exchange for a 10% discount on service. The Sprint rep I spoke to told me that I would see the 10% discount on my account effective within the next two statements.

In April, the 10% still didn’t show up, so I called Sprint, and the rep I spoke to assured me that the 10% would show up on the next statement.

Fast forward to yesterday, and the 10% was still nowhere to be found. I called Sprint again, and here is our conversation (paraphrased):

Me: My 10% discount still hasn’t shown up on my account!

CS: Ok…well…it’s there, and I can’t do anything about it. It will probably show up next month.

Me: Probably? And what if it doesn’t show up next month?

CS: (laughs) Then you can call back and yell at me.

I love Sprint.

- So I swung by Ross today with my sister to return a shirt I bought over the weekend.

That’s when I found a really nice golf polo (Adidas ClimaCool something or another) for $20, marked down from $70. I couldn’t resist, though I’d say it’s 50-50 that I return the shirt sometime in the next week or so.

Anyway, when I got to the checkout line—single line, but multiple registers—I noticed three people in line, followed by a little gap, followed by a shopping cart full of stuff. I looked at the cart, wondered if it actually belonged to somebody, and before I could make up my mind, the owner of the cart came up to it—she had been looking through a rack of clothes near the line—nudged it forward, and gave me a death stare, as if to say “Yes, this is my cart, and yes, I’m in line, a$$hole.”

So I stood behind the lady’s cart, and she went back to her shopping. The line moved some more, and I just stood behind her cart, like an idiot. A guy was behind me, wondering what the hell the idiot in front of him (me) was doing just standing there, and the gap between the cart and the person in front widened. I seriously contemplated just shoving the cart out of the way, but the woman came back, nudged her cart forward again, and walked off.

I told myself, “If I’m the next person in line, and the woman doesn’t return, I’m cutting in line no matter what.” Unfortunately, the woman came back right when one of the cashiers shouted “next in line!”

One other bit of shopping cart ridiculousness: later, when another cashier called for the next person in line, two older ladies went to the register. One of the cashiers asked the trailing lady, “Were you in line?” The lady responded, “Of course! I was with this woman (pointing to her friend) all the time!”

That’s fine and dandy…HAD THE TWO WOMEN COMBINED THEIR PURCHASES AS A SINGLE TRANSACTION! But nope, the second woman waited for her friend to finish checking out, and then started emptying her cart in front of the register, expecting the cashier to start checking her out! And yes, the cashier reluctantly started scanning the second woman’s stuff.

Oh how I hate stupid people.

- Fifteen dollar ($50 retail) box seats. Chicken nachos, Dodger Dogs, and peanuts. Not-so-obnoxious fans (and if they were obnoxious, it was in a funny way). Blake DeWitt hitting his second career HR in inside-the-park fashion. A couple of B-level celebrity sightings (twice!). What could have ruined tonight’s Mets-Dodgers game?

Answer: the possible existence of an even more powerful, faster-acting Ung-hex!

The Dodgers were up, 5-4, in the bottom of the ninth inning, with two outs: a long fly out to center by Moises Alou, and a hard ground out by Carlos Delgado on a great play by 1B James Loney. The crowd stood up, and my sister and I joined them. That’s when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, my sister putting her backpack on. I immediately told her, “Take that off!” She didn’t listen.

Single by Angel Pagan.

I told her again to take off the backpack. Instead, she handed me my sweater.

Single by Brian Schneider.

I grabbed her backpack, and slammed it on her empty seat. I tossed my sweater on the seat as well.

Strike three, looking, to Luis Castillo.

As we celebrated, I told my sister, “You lucked out. If I hadn’t removed your backpack, we would have lost!” She denied the existence of her own Ung-hex, but who could deny it after what happened above? Never has my Ung-hex worked THAT quickly, and THAT effectively.

The seats themselves were pretty decent—aisle 44, next to the right field foul pole, and row T, just underneath the overhang of the Loge section—and thank goodness that there were no really obnoxious fans near us. The concession stands were a heck of a lot nicer than in other sections, and there was a much larger variety of restaurants. Also, the bathrooms were really nice! Instead of a trough, there were actually urinals :P. Also, while there were paper towel dispensers, the bathrooms also had Dyson Airblades! Awesome!

The game was excellent, although it was clear that Dodgers’ pitcher Hideki Kuroda was going to have a rough game. Thank goodness for the play of one Blake DeWitt (who?): 3-4, 4 RBI (2-run single with the bases loaded, and what proved to be a game-winning inside-the-park home run that had the home crowd demanding a curtain call with a “We want Blake!” chant.

(Who needs Andy LaRoche? Nomar who? BLAKE DE-WITT! BLAKE DE-WITT!!!)

As for the celebrity sightings, it was nothing much to write home about. Once we found our seats, we immediately got up and visited the concession stands. A few seconds into our walk, and I noticed three men walking the opposite way. I caught a glance of one of them, and thought he looked familiar. My sister immediately chased me down, and exclaimed some gibberish that I don’t quite recall.

(She LOVES the show.)

Turns out that Detective Don Flack (Eddie Cahill) and CSI Danny Messer (Carmine Giovinazzo) were the two celebs she spotted. On the way out of the stadium, we spotted them near the Field level exit (I was 99.999% positive that that was them, and my sister confirmed it, muttering “OMG OMG that’s them!”). I quickly told her that I would walk past them, and then bend over and tie my shoelaces, to give her an opportunity to go bother them.

She chickened out. By the time she gathered herself to do something, they walked away.

(If this is how we act in front of B-level celebs, what would have happened if we saw Gary Sinise?)

Until next time!

Tags: Cust. Service, Deals, Sports // 1 Comment »

Long post today, so let’s get right to it.

- I decided that it was time to update my wardrobe (read: buy new clothes). On Saturday, armed with a pair of coupons—30% off at Foot Locker and 20% off at Macy’s—my sister and I went to Westfield Fashion Square in Sherman Oaks.

After a quick browse through Macy’s, our first stop was Foot Locker. After about five minutes of browsing, and thirty seconds of trying out one pair of shoes, I decided on the Nike Air Max Tailwind 2008. I just loved how the shoes looked, and the fact that they were comfortable as hell was all the convincing I needed. I wasn’t really looking for a pair of running shoes; I really wanted just a pair of cross-trainers or something similar.

The re-visit to Macy’s was fruitless, so on Sunday, we swung by Ross. Normally, Ross has quite a few sections for me to browse through, so much so that I get sick and tired of looking after several racks’ worth of clothes, and just give up. The Ross I visited, however, had only one small section of athletic shirts, so I was able to finish shopping in a few minutes. I scored a couple Reebok PlayDry shirts, as well as a really ugly (but really nice!) T for $4.

We had to go on a food run, so we went to 99 Ranch, Costco, and JONS Supermarket for a ton of food. I had a hankering for some salsa—it might have been influenced by Cinco de Mayo—so I mixed up a quick tomato salsa (chopped tomatoes, chopped onion, chopped cilantro, chopped roasted Jalapeño peppers, fresh lime juice, and Pico de Gallo seasoning).

While at Costco, I couldn’t resist one of their take-n-bake pizzas; I forget what it’s called, but it has fresh tomato, basil, and globs of mozzarella cheese on it. That was seriously the best take-n-bake pizza I’ve ever had.

Sunday night, I decided to bake some chicken coated with seasoned flour (AP flour, kosher salt, and some Mrs. Dash). After 50 minutes in a 400 degree oven, the chicken came out super-juicy, although the skin was a bit bland. I should probably have coated the chicken in egg first, before applying the flour, but I was lazy :P.

I also bought some frozen Buffalo Wings from Costco; that will probably be my dinner, along with the leftover pizza. Damn…now I’m super hungry again.

- So after watching the MVP do what MVPs do, I gotta say that the Lakers are in serious trouble despite pulling out a Game 1 victory. Certainly the rest helped, coupled with the fact that the Jazz played two tough playoff games in 48 hours, but clearly there was some rust to knock off as well.

At least, Laker fans better hope it was rust, and not a thorough domination by the Jazz on the offensive glass. Twenty-five offensive rebounds??? Plus-seventeen in total rebounds? Was that Memhet Okur or a in-his-prime Dennis Rodman crashing the glass? With Games 3 and 4—and the Jazz’s 37-4 home record—looming, the Lakers better shore up the defensive glass, or the series could easily end in six games.

It’s a good thing that the Lakers have the MVP, who apparently owns an annual pass to the free throw line. I’m actually surprised that Kobe missed two freebies! Anyway, the Lakers better hope for better rebounding, better shot selection, and more solid defense on Utah’s two stars. I have a feeling that Deron Williams will not shoot 5-for-18 in Game 2, and Boozer likely will not commit seven turnovers again.

Something tells me that Utah will pull out Game 2, win Game 3 handily, and lose Game 4 in a nailbiter. If all that happens, I don’t expect a home team to lose again, and the Lakers will win the series in seven games. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise me to see the Jazz win in six.

One other NBA thought: the hard foul that Hawks’ F Marvin Williams committed on Celtics’ G Rajon Rondo was an extremely harsh foul, and it did warrant a Flagrant-2. However, I did not think Williams intended on injuring Rondo at all. What Williams did was extremely dangerous, but Jeff Van Gundy hit it right on the head: 1) it looked like Williams tried to grab Rondo, but Rondo was already airborne, and an attempted grab ended up being a near-clothesline; and 2) if Williams really had a play on the ball—one criterion required to deem a foul a flagrant-1 at worst—why didn’t he attempt to go for a block instead? Was the play dirty? Yeah. Was it with intent to injure? I don’t believe so.

Until next time!

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Argh! I thought I just had a headache, but I guess I am full-blown sick! Sore throat, runny nose…good thing I still have two bags of cough drops from CVS (free after ECBs, naturally).

- It’s time…for some Dodgers love.

(I swear I’m not a bandwagon-er, even though it may appear that way because this is the first real Dodgers blog entry I’ve made this year.)

Rafael Furcal has to be the early favorite for NL MVP, right? No, I’m not saying this as a homer. I’m not saying this after watching Furcal tattoo a three-run, game-breaking HR against Colorado. And I’m not saying this as a fan of the guy himself. I’m saying this based on his stats YTD:

(as of 5/1/08) .370/.457/.580. 28 R, 44 H, 12 2B, 2 3B, 3 HR, 11 RBI, 18 BB. Second in NL in AVG, fourth in steals (7), top ten in OPS (1.036), and first in runs. Never mind all the SportsCenter-caliber plays he makes at shortstop. Is it no coincidence that his play is a key reason for the Dodgers’ six game winning streak?

Reports say that Furcal is open to offers for a contract extension mid-season. Can you blame the Dodgers for trying to re-sign him? Think he’ll take a three-year extension worth $48 million? Yeah, I know…$16 million for a SS who will be 34 at the end of the contract? I could think of bigger wastes of money.

(Tangent: I actually took a few minutes to decide which player I would associate with the word “wastes” above. It should really only have taken a few seconds; Schmidt has been injured, while Jones couldn’t get a hit if he were swinging a tennis racket.)

(Tangent #2: Did I just Ung-hex the Dodgers? It’s now Dodgers 7, Rockies 6. Whoops!)

- Raise your hand if you had the Atlanta-Boston series going more than five games.

If your hand is raised, you’re a Hawks fan (do those exist?), a damn liar, stoned out of your mind, or you own a time machine, went to the future, and saw Atlanta winning Game Six at home on May 2, 2008.

(Tangent: Why is it that, during the “NBA Cares” mini-commercials that air during the playoffs, do we hardly see the superstar players participating? ESPN just aired one such commercial, and Kyle Korver (!!!) was the guest. Was Deron Williams busy that night? Was Carlos Boozer having dinner with family that day?

I kid, of course. What the NBA has done for New Orleans is, in a word, remarkable.)

As I was watching the fourth quarter of the Celtics-Hawks game, one thought came to mind: “THIS team won only 35 games in the regular season?” People slammed the Hawks for taking Al Horford over Mike Conley, Jr., but Horford’s been real strong in this series. Naturally, I gotta ask: What if the Hawks had drafted Chris Paul? And why did I continue to see Ray Allen on Joe Johnson? Is Doc trying to get himself run out of town?

(Off-topic: Andruw Jones just doubled??? The world is going to end! His batting average probably just increased ten points with that one hit.)

Do the Hawks have a chance in hell of upsetting Boston in Game Seven? Why not? Do I think they’ll win? Of course not.

By the way, T-Mac is having a hell of a first half against Utah—10-16, 28/7/3—and I’d love to see Houston force a Game Seven against Utah. It’s gonna be hard to do so, though, sans Rafer Alston. Had he been healthy for the whole series, would this game be an elimination game for Utah? Also, LeBron went LeBron, manned up, and ousted Washington with a triple-double. I dare the Boston-Atlanta winner to start trashing LeBron.

(OT: It appears that the Ung-hex has been averted, thanks to a bases-clearing double by Matt Kemp. Whew.)

More playoff thoughts next time, but until then, let me wrap up with this:

- So as you loyal UngsungBlog readers—all none of you—know, my sister has karmic powers. Evidently, either I have yet to learn to stop picking on her, or I like letting karma kick me in the ass.

Well, as we were preparing to head back to MPK last Friday, my sister remarked that she was expecting a phone call from someone, but her phone wasn’t not in her possession. Standing right in front of our sofa, I asked where her phone was, and she explained that she had left it in her car.

I jokingly exclaimed that leaving her phone in her car was “foolish,” and immediately turned around to get something. That’s when I discovered that my sister had left my poker chip set besides the sofa, hidden under a blanket which hung over the sofa.

How did I know the poker chip set was there? Well, one nano-mill-second after I insulted my sister and turned around, my right foot Vanderjerked the hidden poker chip set.

(Vanderjerk, v., to kick something hard, either accidentally or not at all straight, named after former Indianapolis Colts idiot kicker Mike Vanderjagt: My nephew spilled his juice all over our carpet, so I disciplined him by Vanderjerking him in the butt.)

I screamed out in pain, bent over, and was immediately half-crying and half-laughing; crying because it hurt like a mother, and laughing because what happened was so ridiculous. My sister got a good laugh for about five minutes, and I thought it was a bit funny for a few seconds. Too bad my foot hurt for a good day or two.

Will I learn my lesson? Maybe when the Clippers win an NBA title.

One last parting thought: what the hell happened in the third quarter? I guess the Lakers better prepare for a Game One on Sunday.

Tags: Random, Sports // 2 Comments »

No quick-hitters, as I still have a headache. Let’s get to it:

- Tonight’s Office started out pretty slowly, but when it got going, it really got going! Tonight, we got the prototypical “storyline” episode; tonight’s episode wasn’t over-the-top funny, but it served its purpose to further a number of existing storylines, and may possibly lay the framework for future episodes. Look what we discovered from tonight’s episode alone!

(BTW, I loved the whole opening scene. Would it have been too rated-R for someone to suggest that Michael put an impression of something else into the cement? Why did Oscar waste his time trying to convince Michael that an impression of his face didn’t seem safe?) And why didn’t Michael’s head get kinda stuck in the cement? That would have been hilarious, in a morbid way…

We know Ryan has issues with Jim for Jim’s interaction with David Wallace, and now we know that Toby hates Jim for his relationship with Pam. Is Jim’s job possibly at risk? Perhaps Jim will be demoted, and Dwight will be promoted to the real #2 and not the #2 in his mind only. Or perhaps Jim will get fed up with the negativity towards him, and he has to choose between keeping his position with the company and staying close to his girlfriend. We’ve got Dwight already against Jim, and now Ryan and Toby…Andy, logically, has to be next to attack Jim, right, perhaps with a little prodding from Angela?

By the way, Toby, what happened to going to Costa Rica? Couldn’t afford the plane ticket? And Pam’s blind as a bat sans corrective lenses, eh? You just knew there were going to be some inappropriate comments made to Pam by the men of the Office (namely, Kevin and Creed). As far as the main storyline of the episode is concerned…

Also, did anyone notice that, on the company hierarchy chart that Dwight has—why he has one is a completely different story—Dwight’s name is just slightly above Jim’s?

EDIT: If you look carefully at the office hierarchy, you’ll see the following (I nearly spit water all over my laptop when I first noticed this):

• Above Dwight’s name are the words “Original Assistant Regional Manager.” Over Jim’s name are the words “Assistant Regional Manager.”
• Creed’s name (Creed Bratton) are in quotes.
• All the females in the office have the female symbol next to their names. Next to Oscar’s name is two male symbols. Next to each female is a moon symbol (quarter moon, half moon, etc.), presumably to indicate their “time” of the month. Phyllis’ and Meredith’s symbols are crossed out, for obvious reasons.
• The members of the Party Planning Committee are indicated in purple.
• Toby’s name has the Star of David next to it. Kevin’s name has a shamrock next to it.
• Next to Andy’s name is a Chess pawn is the image of a college graduate (did nobody else in the office graduate college?). Next to Darryl and Stanley’s names are a symbol that I can’t quite make out, but I presume they are an indication that these two are black. EDIT: Krunk said the image appears to be a fist. A sign of “Black Power,” perhaps?
• Devon (the guy who got fired in Halloween) has his name crossed out.

Speaking of Andy, who didn’t see Dwight doing something with Andy’s car to upset him? I gotta take down a transcript of what Dwight did to persuade Andy to sell his car for cheap, and try that out at a used car dealership

Finally! Someone grew a pair and called Michael out! Too bad it was Stanley; I would have loved to see a partially-drunk Meredith do it instead. Then again, it was awesome to see Stanley finally get more than a couple lines in an episode, and the tension between the two of them was great. It came as a pleasant surprise to me that Michael finally figured out that he was the authority figure of the office, and expected Stanley to treat him with some respect. And I loved the end of the episode, where Phyllis called Michael’s “summer Christmas” plan the worst thing she’s ever heard of, only to have Michael clear the room of everyone but himself and her.

If only I didn’t have to endure Michael butchering the series of jokes in the final talking head segment.

Favorite moments (coming soon…):

• Oscar: “Michael…that doesn’t seem…safe (rolls eyes, as if to remind himself who he’s talking to)”
• Pam: “Yeah…I slept over at a friend’s house, and…I forgot my contact lens solution, so I had to wear my backup glasses. Shut up!” (No comment.)
• Michael: “Pam, those make you look so ugly. In order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You’re moving in the wrong direction.”
• Jim’s second fake proposal. Much funnier than the first one.
• Jim’s one-up on Andy’s idea for a new outgoing voicemail message. That had a bit of Dwight in it.
• Andy: “You meet a lot of ladies driving an Xterra, because…you pull up to a stop light, and look over, and there’s an Xterra next to you, they’re always driven by chicks. So there’s your ice breaker.” OK…
• Michael: “What’s the pink?” Dwight: “Menstrual cycles.” (see above)
• Kevin: “All the girlfriends that I’ve ever had have worn glasses. It’s kinda a turn on for me…like librarians…could you just say ‘These are due back Thursday’?” Creeeeeeeeeeepy…
• Creed: “I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless.” LOL!
• Michael: “I would have never thought that gangs would be tickling each other.”
• Michael: “It’s the only possible solution I have left.” Toby: “Well, you can actually fire him.” Michael: “Ok…I’ve had enough of you.” Poor Toby
• Stanley: “Are you serious?” Michael: “I am serious…we are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack.” I swear I knew Michael was going to screw up this line!
• Michael: “Why don’t they just make the plane out of the airline food?” See above.

- Raise your hand if you were surprised that the B(S)CS rejected a plan to have a four-team playoff to crown an NCAA football champion every year. Apparently, not determining a champion on the field, according to these clowns, is the best way to determine a champion. Using arbitrary computer numbers and “try to be as unbiased as possible” football writers, these clowns would like us to believe, is the best way to determine a champion. According to Big 12 commish Dan Beebe,

“Even though we could construct barriers at this time, we felt like … there could be easily an errosion of that; more pressure to add more teams with an ability to get to the national championship game as we went over time. The system is under a lot of scrutiny that can result in pressure to add games. Our league is not favorable to a playoff system as a whole, and viewed this as the first step in that direction.”

Let me summarize: a four-team, plus-one playoff system would shaft team #5. If the playoffs were expanded to eight, team #9 would get shafted. Also, the B(S)CS would also like us fans to understand that adding additional games adds additional stress onto the students, both physically and academically. However, nobody seems to complain when NCAA basketball players have to spend up to three weeks outside of the classroom. The B(S)CS believes that players already play too many games; I didn’t hear anyone complaining when teams started adding a 12th game to their schedules.

I love this quote:

“We have decided that because we feel at this time the BCS is in an unprecedented state of health, we feel it’s never been healthier during its first decade, we have made a decision to move forward in the next cycle with the current format,” ACC commissioner and BCS coordinator John Swofford said.

By “unprecedented state of health,” these people are referring to their bank accounts, if that wasn’t painfully clear. I say, if we’re going to use an arbitrary system of picking the two teams to play in the National Championship game, we should be allowed to vote American Idol style.

Vote 1-800-BCS-0001 for USC, or text message BCS01 for USC! Standard text messaging rates apply!

American Idol-style voting can’t be any worse than what we currently have, right?

Tags: Sports, The Office // 1 Comment »

I have a headache. Let’s make this one a quick one.

Quick-hitters:

- So I’m snacking on some of the yogurt snacks I ordered from Amazon.com earlier in the week, and I noticed that the front of the Harmony snack bags stated that their snacks were an “excellent source of calcium.”

I flipped the bag over, looked at the nutrition facts, and nearly gagged. Sure, each serving had 30% of the RDA of Calcium, but each serving also has 7g of saturated fat per serving (35%)!!!

I wonder if Amazon.com will give me a partial refund on the number of bags that I have yet to open

- Don’t look now, but my Dodgers have won five straight, and are finally over .500!

Now if only we could dump Andruw Jones on some team for a penny on the dollar, though I fear that that is still asking too much.

- Current rebate-o-meter: $1700. Current toothpaste-o-meter: still 25, but that will be closer to 35 by the end of the week :P.

- Here are some annoying commercials that have caught my eye lately:

1) That stupid KFC commercial with the guy and girl sitting on stairs, with one of them declaring that he took a buck from his friend’s sofa to buy himself a KFC Snacker. “Give me back my buck.” “Actually, I’m eating it.” LOL!!!!!!! (Not.)

(Tangent: That stupid Pizza Hut commercial with the Tuscani pasta taste test just aired again.)

2) The Wendy’s commercial advertising their new chicken wraps…could the girl not wait two minutes to get to her desk and eat her snack? How do you know a commercial REALLY annoys me? Every time I see the commercial, I cheer for her to trip on the phone cord she steps over.

(I have issues. I am aware of that.)

3) Any and all Domino’s commercials with that annoying guy who’s clearly on speed.

(I might have mentioned this before, but I am convinced that these commercials exist only to hold our television shows hostage; once these companies reach a quota of sales, they will stop releasing these super-annoying commercials. Either that, or they exist solely to get us fat Americans to get off the couch and run towards our cars, screaming “Make these commercials stop!” as we drive off to the Drive-Thru to pick up whatever is advertised. If anyone can come up with a better reason for why these stupid commercials exist, I’m all ears.)

Now, the latest Carl’s Jr commercial with the boyfriend crying because of the Jalapeno Chicken sandwich he’s eating…that’s pure genius!

- Two out of three ain’t bad, right? I was impressed with the Rockets staving off elimination, and I couldn’t believe how poorly Dallas played. I expected Avery Johnson to get canned, but not this quickly. I expect D’Antoni to resign early next week as well, despite reports to the contrary.

Re: Spurs-Suns…it’s awfully tough to win a game when your MVP point guard commits four backbreaking TOs late, and then Boris Diaw contributes with a terrible TO of his own. It’s even tougher when you do it against the defending champs. What a way for the D’Antoni era to end.

In defense of the Suns, though, I offer these two points:

1) They say that a single play, even at the end of a game, doesn’t determine the outcome. Therefore, I offer three questionable fourth quarter plays: the fifth foul on Shaq (Duncan might grazed Shaq’s leg, if there was any contact at all, before he tripped on himself), the fifth foul on Amare (it looked like Amare leaned backwards), and the deflection by Bowen off Nash (I didn’t see the ball go off Nash’s leg at all). If even one play goes in the Suns’ favor, who knows what the end result of Game 5 ends up being?

2) I’ll copy and paste what I said last time regarding Shaq and changing teams:

(As far as Shaq is concerned, note that his teams have never done well in Year One of his stay at each stop. I actually expect the Suns to be pretty damn good next year. Now if they could only avoid SA or LAL next year…)

Then again, he is going to be 36 next year, and Nash isn’t getting any younger. Add to that the fact that Suns will probably be playing in a new system next year, and you can’t 100% love their chances. Then again, their starting lineup is intact—Nash, Bell, Diaw, Amare, Shaq—and if they could get one wing defender and a scoring backup PG (I know, MUCH easier said than done), they’ll be just fine.

As far as Dallas is concerned, they are in huge trouble. A $100 million+ payroll for THAT performance? Well, at least Michael Finley is off their books next year. But seriously, the Jason Kidd experiment is not working, and if the Mavs could move Josh Howard for fifty cents on the dollar, they might want to do so. I don’t see how the Mavs fix things in one year; they might have to consider rebuilding.

Yeah, I realize that R word isn’t in Mark Cuban’s vernacular, but unless he can trade Jason Kidd for, say, Jermaine O’Neal, Dallas isn’t going to do a damn thing next year.

Quickly…

1) Who didn’t see Boston blowing out Atlanta tonight?

2) Who wasn’t shocked that the greatest player in the history of the NBA (LeBron) didn’t get the foul call at the end of the Wizards-Cavs game? I’m surprised David Stern didn’t protect his biggest investment from a trip back to Washington with a foul call there.

(Not that NBA games are fixed, or anything…)

Tags: Sports // 2 Comments »

This blog was supposed to be posted last night, but in typical UngsungBlog fashion, I misremembered :P.

(Because of that, I went ahead and added a few thoughts, if that’s OK with my loyal readers.)

Quick-hitters:

- So I got my Columbia sunglasses yesterday from Campmor.com, and after trying them on for a bit, I really like them. I haven’t tried them out in sunlight yet, to see if I could tell the difference between polarized and non-polarized lenses, but I’m most likely going to keep them. They feel a heck of a lot more comfortable than my Oakleys, even though the wire frames bend at a pretty severe angle, no thanks to my big head.

- Boy was it HOT the last two days! Real-Feel temps in the low-100s on Sunday in MPK, followed by a much more bearable mid-90s here in the Valley on Monday. I think I drank about ten gallons of iced tea these last few days alone.

- Current rebate-o-meter: $1900, and that includes the $250 in checks I received since my last update.

- Armed with a $25 Amazon.com GC (courtesy of my Amazon.com VISA), and a half-off coupon on select chocolate snacks (CHAWCLAT), I decided to purchase some snacks.

I think I went a bit overboard with what I bought:

• 8 8oz. tubs of Good Sense Dark Chocolate Pretzels
• 12 8.5oz. bags of Harmony Foods Yogurt Raisins
• 24 3.5oz. bags of Harmony Foods Yogurt Pretzels

I just hope the heat doesn’t ruin my snacks.

Total cost, after the GC: < $10. Now let’s hope I have the willpower to not polish off the entire order in a few days :P.

- After watching the conclusion of the Nuggets-Lakers series last night, one thing was evident to me:  if the two teams played ten times, the Lakers would win nine, and Denver would win the 10th on a couple of bad calls, lucky bounces, and Laker rim-outs.  Anyone watching the game could have sensed that Kobe was going to explode in that fourth quarter, so I wasn’t surprised when he did.  Look at the sequence that ESPN’s John Hollinger so eloquently described:

Not that he can’t do it — the final six minutes Monday were a tour de force at both ends. In that time he scored 14 points, blocked a shot, stole a pass and drew two offensive fouls.

He made a 3-pointer and a driving layup basket to break open a tie game, then hit a jumper over Kenyon Martin when the Nuggets briefly took a one-point lead. He turned his attention to defense and drew the fifth and sixth fouls on Martin by charging out hard and drawing illegal screens, knocking his primary defender out of the game.

Back on offense, he drew the fifth and sixth fouls on his next defender, Carmelo Anthony, by attacking off the dribble to draw blocking fouls — removing the Nuggets’ best scoring threat. His runner in the lane with 40.7 seconds left sucked the air out of Denver’s final charge, and his physical D on J.R. Smith and subsequent steal with 18.2 seconds left sealed it. And just for good measure, he rejected Linas Kleiza’s 3-point attempt at the buzzer.

Personally, I thought that one or two of those fouls were ticky-tack at best, but you know what they say about superstars and fouls in the playoffs.

So did the Lakers steamroll Denver, or did Denver roll over?  I’m going to cop out and say it’s a little of both.  The Lakers were just playing way too well to lose the series, but Denver had their chances to win Game 4.  At least they didn’t commit any absurd technical fouls.

(Tangent:  Why is it that when one is confronted with a “Is it A or B [that caused something to happen] question, 99.9% of the time, the person will say it’s a little bit of both?)

A couple other quick playoff thoughts:

1) Is it just me, or is Mavs F Josh Howard playing like he’s high?  I was watching parts of Game 5 of the Mavs-Hornets series, and I saw him miss a few jumpers BADLY.

(Note to any player who is going to come out and admit marijuana use:  you might want to play well in the game(s) following the admission.)

2) I expect the rest of the Western Conference first round to end tonight (NO over DAL, SA over PHX, UTA over HOU), and after tonight, we can officially declare the two big “panic” trades in the West—Shaq to PHX; Kidd to DAL—failures, leading to the firing of both coaches.  I do hear Pat Riley is available, though (more on that later).

(As far as Shaq is concerned, note that his teams have never done well in Year One of his stay at each stop.  I actually expect the Suns to be pretty damn good next year.  Now if they could only avoid SA or LAL next year…)

3) Is Boston doing a little looking ahead to Cleveland, or is Atlanta really that talented?  I’ll say a little of both :P.  But seriously, I thought Boston was going to mow over everyone en route to the NBA Finals.  Now, Doc Rivers might not get his team out of the first round.  Joe Johnson looked like freaking Michael Jordan in the fourth quarter of Game 4; why did Rivers not make a defensive switch?

And finally,

4) Is Washington really trying to prove that they are the dumbest team in the history of the world?  First, DeShawn Stevenson ran his mouth, then Arenas, and now Brendan Haywood???  Apparently, Haywood and the rest of the Wizards are sick and tired of LeBron’s whining:

“Awww,” Haywood said, in a whiny, high-pitched voice to mock James. “They are trying to hurt me.”

“I mean, come on, man, this is the playoffs,” Haywood said following yesterday’s practice. “He wears 23, he wants to be Michael Jordan, I can respect that, he’s a great player. You saw what Mike went through. Mike got fouled way worse than this. No one is trying to hurt him, everybody is trying to play basketball, trying to play tough. Play basketball and leave it alone.”

Look, I understand that playoff intensity translates into harder fouls, but that does not give you the right to hammer LeBron with flagrant-2s!  I’m not saying this as a LeBron fan; personally, I turn off the TV when I see him on SportsCenter (I can’t stand the hype for the guy!), but even LeBron doesn’t deserve to be treated as a punching bag.

By the way, Haywood, why don’t you heed your own advice and play basketball?  Last I checked, you guys are trailing 3-1.

- So Pat Riley doesn’t want to coach anymore?  Larry Brown wants to coach again, and so he took a job with Charlotte?

In other news, water is wet.

Riles, I’m pretty sure ANYONE would be tired of coaching after tanking games to earn extra ping-pong balls enduring a 15-67 season.  Then again, should the NBA freeze some envelopes to give Miami the #2 pick (behind New York’s #1, of course) which they would use to draft Derrick Rose, and then somehow trade for an impact big, who would be surprised to see Riley abruptly end his retirement yet again?

I will neither confirm nor deny that I suggested that the NBA has fixed the lottery in the past.

I wonder if Riles would be willing to move to Phoenix; I hear they may need a coach.  And who wouldn’t want to coach a pair of MVPs and one of the most dominant power forwards in the league?

As for Larry Brown…bored again, eh?  I’m about ready to dub Brown the Paris Hilton of coaches.  Is he just trying to coach every team in the league?  Charlotte?  What is so enticing about Charlotte, other than its proximity to Chapel Hill?

If (when?) the Bobcats stink up the joint next year, how much do you want to bet that Brown will take some “recruiting trips” down to Chapel Hill?

Until next time (later tonight?).

Tags: Deals, Food, Sports // 1 Comment »

No quick-hitters tonight; I’ll save them for next time.

- While it was fun to see my three-year-old (not four yet, as I said earlier!) nephew this past weekend, I also got a headache from seeing him.

I constantly had to remind myself that he was a three-year-old.  Whining, crying, bitching…and that was just my reactions to his behavior!

It was good to see the kid again, though, even though he is much too smart for his own good.

(Tangent:  I found out, this weekend, that my laptop’s lid could support the weight of a small child!

How did I find out?  Well, my nephew thought it would be fun to crawl over my laptop—it was laying on the carpet, in front of me.  As soon as I heard the lid buckle, I instinctively shoved the kid off my laptop (I might have shoved him a good three feet; I forget how strong I am at times), fired it up, and was relieved to see it boot up.

Who needs a Panasonic toughbook? :P)

- I can’t believe nobody took my bet regarding the XG/MGE fiasco I’ve been dealing with over the past year:

I’ll lay 2-1 odds to anybody who is willing to bet that I will, within the next four weeks, receive the second rebate check.

Anyone who would have taken the bet would be counting his/her money right about now.  On Thursday, I got the second XG/MGE Company check for $19 that was owed to me!

Finally, I can close this dark chapter of my life :P.

- Time Warner keeps advertising on my television that they do not nickel-and-dime like the phone companies do.  I can attest to that!  I don’t think Time Warner has ever nickel-and-dimed me.

Case in point:  my Time Warner bill has gone up from $61, to $65, to $72, in a span of three months!  That’s no nickel-and-diming; that’s a pretty significant rate hike, no?

Kudos, Time Warner, for keeping your word and not nickel-and-diming customers.

By the way, on my most recent bill, there was this gem:

“This statement reflects your new 2008 pricing as previously communicated.  Please see the next page for the new pricing.”

Either Time Warner “communicated” this new pricing scheme via telepathy, or they issued a statement regarding these price increases via television…during the latter part of last week, when my TV signal and internet connection were flaky as hell.  By “flaky,” of course, I mean “works for ten minutes, and then goes out for two hours.”  Of course, there’s also the possibility that Time Warner NEVER SENT ME ANYTHING REGARDING THESE PRICE INCREASES.

All I know for sure is that Road Runner (Time Warner’s HSI) used to cost me $34.99 a month, then it went up to $39.99 a month last month, and now it’s costing me $44.99 a month.  Remember, though:  Time Warner doesn’t nickel-and-dime, and they certainly didn’t do so here!

I’ll update my List soon.

- Finally, I’ve been hearing all NBA season that this year’s playoffs were going to be the most competitive playoffs of all time.  The Eastern Conference first-round didn’t look compelling, save the Washington-Cleveland series, but wasn’t the Western Conference first-round supposed to be all potential seven-game series?  Weren’t we supposed to see at least one “upset” in the making?  Wasn’t Denver’s 1-2 scoring duo of Melo and AI supposed to push the Lakers?  Weren’t the Hornets supposed to be too young to contend against the Mavs?  Weren’t the new-look Suns supposed to push around the suddenly-aging Spurs (save for tonight)?

I see three 3-1 series leads for the favorites, and a series heading for a four game sweep.  Yes, I’m burying the Nuggets right now.  What a horrible performance by the Nuggets’ stars on Saturday!

BTW, Melo, “we” didn’t quit…at least, not all at the same time.  It sure looked like YOU quit first, and then your team followed suit.  I guess coach George Karl better start updating his resume, and either AI or Melo better start packing their bags.  Clearly the Melo/AI experiment is NOT working.

Other random NBA playoff thoughts:

1) What took so long for the Suns to show something against the Spurs?  Could they be working a miracle comeback?

(Nah.)

2) T-Mac, enjoy your vacation.  Maybe you and Gilbert Arenas could go fishing together or something.  They could take coaches Karl, D’Antoni, and Avery Johnson with them!

(Tangent:  Is D’Antoni really on the chopping block if the Suns get eliminated?  Last I checked, he wasn’t the one that traded for Shaq!)

3) Anyone see Al Horford smack-talking the Celtics after Atlanta’s Game 3 victory?  I thought Joakim Noah was the “vocal” one of Florida’s two championship teams of not so long ago.

4) Raise your hand if you didn’t know that Toronto and Orlando were facing each other.

The NHL playoffs couldn’t find the Tor-Orl series on TV.

I’m tired, so that’s all I’ve got for tonight.  No NFL Draft thoughts, by the way, for no reason in particular.

Tags: Cust. Service, Deals, Random, Sports // Add Comment »

Quick-hitters:

- In an effort to do more family-related things, my aunt wanted all of us to hang out and do something “fun” sometime this upcoming weekend.

When my sister and I got back home on Sunday night, I asked her if we were going to take up our aunt’s offer. She said that we were not going back next weekend under any circumstances.

Today, she found out that our four-year-old nephew will be in town this weekend. I guess we’ll be back in MPK sooner than I thought :P.

- I’ve been told that my blog is awfully negative in nature, so here’s something positive to report. On the way from the parking lot to Dodger Stadium, I grabbed my wallet to pull out my ID and credit card—I ordered tickets for Will Call—and I guess I left a $20 in my pocket, because the bill hung out of the pocket, flapping in the wind.

If it weren’t for the woman and girl who yelled “Sir, you have money coming out of your pocket!” I would probably have lost the bill seconds later, possibly into the hands of the guy who yelled “Why did you tell him? I would have caught it!”

- Quick Lakers thought: raise your hand if you thought Kobe wasn’t going to go off in Game 2.

That’s what I thought.

BTW, reports had it that J.R. Smith was unhappy with the way Kobe was taunting Denver, posing his fingers in the shape of a gun and flashing that to TNT analyst Reggie Miller. Apparently J.R. Smith chewed Kobe out for it, and Kobe responded with ” ‘Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard’s gonna fall out,’ ” before responding on the court with a drive right at Smith for a layup-and-one.

First of all, why was J.R. Smith the one chewing Kobe out for his taunting? Where were Carmelo or A.I.? Second, if he was going to chew out Kobe, he had to have expected Kobe to destroy him the next time down the court, right? Third, Kobe had been able to drive through the lane all day! Where was another Nugget to help out on Smith, knowing that Kobe was going right down his throat on the next play?

Why do I see this series going only four games?

- So it was my mom’s birthday this past Tuesday, and I thought we were planning a dinner for the weekend of the 26th. That’s when my older sister told me that my mom demanded that we have her birthday dinner on the weekend before her birthday. This demand came on the 17th, giving us three days max to plan something.

Having none of that, my older sister exclaimed “Lunch. Saturday. Golden Gate (?) buffet.” My other sister and I each made a single phone call, expecting the invitations to osmose down to other family members.

(That’s how we roll.)

The guest list gradually increased, even though several people got their unofficial invites an hour before lunch. The food was pretty average, especially for a Chinese buffet. I started out with the sushi, and that was a huge mistake. The wasabi was about as runny as ketchup.

One item that piqued everyone’s interest was a seafood dish called “Assorted Delicacies on Crab Shell.” Calling something a “delicacy” without naming it is bad enough. “Assorted delicacies,” and you’ve gotta be thinking “cat food.” Now, I’ve never tried cat food before, but that stuff tasted like what cat food would taste like.

They also had cream cheese wontons, which tasted super sweet. Absolutely disgusting. The most popular food that we gorged upon was the Korean BBQ spare ribs, and the meat looked like it was boiled, not grilled.

(Actually, I take that back. The ice cream was the best part of the meal, by far.)

(Tangent: If there’s one thing I love about doing stuff with family, it’s the pop culture discussions we have.

BTW, when I say pop culture, I mean The Office.)

- Tonight’s Office episode was, by a mile, a lot better than last week’s episode. While the main storyline, understandably so, involved Michael’s continued search for a girl, we got to see practically every member of the cast contribute to the episode. From Kelly continuing to harbor hard feelings for Ryan, to drunken (drugged, right? Massive nuclear holocaust? Jungle warfare? Sure, Troy has a drug problem. Right…) Ryan partying at the club, to Toby literally running off to Costa Rica after grabbing Pam’s knee (AWK-WARD…), I laughed nearly every minute. I especially loved how Michael became super-protective of Ryan, especially in the scene at the bar.

I loved how another one of Jim’s bright ideas—staying late so that the crew wouldn’t have to come in on Saturday to fix Ryan’s mess—blew up in his face. Between this, the one birthday party for all, and other events that aren’t coming to me at the moment, clearly the Scranton office needs Michael to run things. By the way, I wonder if the writers are going to develop a story based on the tension between Jim and Ryan; are we supposed to believe that Ryan didn’t mean anything when he said “Watch your back, Jim?” Ryan better watch his back; perhaps the stress of the failing Dunder Mifflin Infinity (two-point-0!) project is weighing on him. Is his job at risk? Is corporate already regretting their decision to hire him?

It was hilarious to watch the rest of the office pile on Jim for not notifying the security guard—(paraphrasing) Eddie, Evan, Hank, Edgar, Elliott…is it Elliott? The guy who sits behind the desk…the African-American guy…!—but what did Pam do to get the scorn of the office as well…well, other than doinking a football off Meredith’s face? Speaking of Meredith, what’s next for her? Is she going to get shot next?

Speaking of Pam, poor Toby! Clearly the guy still has feelings for her. I hope this isn’t the end of the Toby character; if it is, giving him more lines than normal is a nice way to go out. “‘Everyone, let’s get your boss laid Saturday’”? . And how sad is it that Andy and Angela are the favorite couple in the office?

By the way, why the hell does Dwight have the keys to the office, and not Michael’s #2 (Jim)? And did anyone notice that the girl Michael was chatting with kinda looked like Jan as well?

So, Michael’s gotta end up with Jan in the future, right? Why else would he constantly be running into people that look like Jan? Maybe the next time they meet up, she’ll have a face lift as well, not that I’m saying Melora Hardin needs a face lift. And when did Dwight become such a playa?

Favorite moments:

• Did anyone think that Dwight used a bit too much peanut butter to get the gum out of Michael’s hair?
• Michael: “Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an art-y photograph of Cindy Crawford nude…[the persons Michael have dated] just lack a certain Crawford-ness.” (Does it surprise anyone that he couldn’t name a single artist?)
• Ryan: “Yes. I’m having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday to re-enter sales that they made on the phone as sales made by the website, which they should have done in the first place…if the website had been working.” (I love Ryan’s character.)
• Ryan: “Yes. The social networking feature of the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.” LOL! WTF does a paper company need with a social networking site?
• Michael: “It’s not the horniess, ok? It’s the loneliness.” I might have just found a new subtitle for my blog
• Andy: “I am in SERIOUS need of some bro time! Ol’ ball-and-chain has been a lot more chain than ball lately, if you know what I’m saying.” Right in front of Dwight and Angela, no less!
• Michael: “I am going to get laid. Goodbye!” followed by Dwight: “With sex!” HAHAHAHA!
• Andy: “Show of hands. Who thinks we’re a better couple than Jim and Pam?” The cameras should have panned on a grinning Angela.
• Dwight referring to the basketball team as “Amazons” followed by Dwight’s idea of pairing up two girls to a guy to get in to the club (how did Dwight learn all this stuff while running a beet farm?)
• The collective groan of the office when they receive Michael’s cell phone video of Dwight making out.
• Michael: “I’ve asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom…” WTF?
• Jim: “Cleaning people…Oscar! OK…so all you need to do is explain to them what happened because I think they can help us.” Oscar: “Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish?” followed by the exchange between Oscar and the cleaning ladies, ending with Oscar saying “they happen to speak Spanish.” Way to straddle the line of racism, writers :P.
• Michael’s advice for Ryan’s “friend” with the drug problem. I really need to start watching The Wire…I hear it’s great.

Tags: Food, Sports, The Office // 1 Comment »